the summer we fell || jeremiah fisher

P A R T 1 9

BACK TO LEXIS POV:

I was sat gazing at the stars, i've been here for about 3 hours. I was getting really cold and i debated on going home but i just couldn't. I couldn't bare to face jeremiah, he had really hurt me and i knew everything between us would never be the same again.

I started to cry even more thinking about the fact i had lost my best friend, the person i had always felt safe around, the person i needed most, had left me. As i cry staring into the sky, i hear someone walking behind me. I feel a shiver down my spine, but then the person placed themselves next to me from the corner of my eye i could see jeremiah fisher.

I didn't say anything to him, and he didn't say anything to me. We just sat and stared at the stars, it was our favourite thing to do when we were younger but, it wasn't the same it never will be again i think to myself.

Finally he spoke up "lex" he said

"don't call me that" i say as i sniffled

he sighs "look i fucked up i really did"

"mhm" i sigh as i get up trying to walk away from him. I really didn't want to deal with his shit right now.

As i was walking away i felt his hands around my wrists "lexi please... just listen for a sec" he says as his voice cracked i could tell he was really upset.

I hated that he had this effect on me, when i saw him sad it made me so upset, so i decided to stay and listen to what he has to say. We sit back down and he tries to hold both my hands, i snatch my hands away "don't" i said looking away.

"Okay, but please just listen" he said

"listening" i say sounding both sad and annoyed

"look i know i fucked up, and i know what i've done isn't forgivable, but i care lexi, i care about you so much it fucking drives me insane. I-" he said as you cut him off

"what do u mean i drive you insane?.." i say quietly

"you just do, you have that effect on me. Look i'm sorry okay, i'm sorry for not making sure you was okay after the drive in, I'm sorry i let gigi say those things to you, i'm sorry i let you walk home by yourself, i'm sorry for being such a dick to you, i'm sorry i'm such a fucking screwup that i had to ruin what we had!!" he says as his voice got firmer each word, i could tell he was getting angry at himself.

"I- i- don't know what to say" i say looking down

he grabs my hands again but this time i don't let go "Jere you was a fucking dick to me, you didn't even let me know what i did wrong, you made me feel like shit, i fucking cried myself to sleep every night thinking about what i did wrong!" i say angrily.

I calm myself down "and the thing is i still don't fucking know" i say as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"You didn't do anything lexi" he says quietly looking down.

"then why the fuck did u just wake up randomly one day and thought oh yeah let me just ignore lexi and be a cunt to her" i say annoyed.

"It wasn't like that.." jeremiah says.

"then what the fuck was it like" i say as i start to loose my patience.

"I- i can't tell you.." he said tears filling his eyes.

"omg jeremiah just tell me, you've made me feel so shit because of it, i deserve to know." i say.

"i avoided you hoping it would make my feelings go away" he stutters as he says it looking into my eyes.

"what feelings?" i ask

"lex you drive me insane" he says gripping on my hands harder.

"the night that we nearly kissed i couldn't stop thinking about you, i thought avoiding you will make all my feelings go away, I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Lexi can't u see that i fucking like you, i have for a very long time." he said quieting down.