Lie Again |↬𝘄𝗼𝗼𝘀𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗳

𝟑𝟏

The Wooyoung I know will search for the murderer until he finds him no matter what and in the end you will also carry the weight of fault and guilt. You will lose Wooyoung in the end of this.

Yeosang had told him, but now sitting here on a bench in the middle of nowhere, the cold night breeze hitting his skin and going through his hair softly like a comforting caress, he suddenly understood what he meant.

He remembered asking to himself what losing Wooyoung meant for him and other than an aching chest and an uncomfortable sickness rising in him, he was unable to answer. He doesn't know if he could answer it now either.

Did it matter though? Whether he would lose Wooyoung or not. Fact is, his father murdered Wooyoung's father and with that knowledge San was unable to look into his eyes himself. He wished Wooyoung would just go on with his life. Because either way, San could not forgive himself.

San sighed as he let his head fall into his hands in frustration, unable to give the feeling in his chest a name. Or are you just too afraid to name it?

He kissed Wooyoung.

Or was it him that kissed San?

Everything happened so fast, the only thing San could recall were Wooyoung's deep brown eyes he got lost into, Wooyoung's beauty mark under his eye, on his bottom lip, Wooyoung's soft lips, Wooyoung's warmth, how he felt under his fingertips, Wooyoung's everything. And suddenly his lips were on his own, his body pressing into his, his own hands on his waist with a strong grip. He felt everything all at once and nothing at all at the same time, because every single feeling that went through him in that moment were all so foreign to him, so strange that he couldn't name any of it. At the same time he felt like he was on top of the world, a world that didn't seem as bad anymore.

He wanted to shower in this foreign strange feeling. He felt like he would do anything just to experience it again, and that scared San the most.

He just let it happen.

In that moment, having Wooyoung so close to him, he indulged the thought of being reckless and acting upon his emotions.

But now he was suffering the consequences and Yeosang's words were repeating itself over and over again in his head until all he could wish for was to have never let this happen.

It was a mistake, is what he repeated to himself as if to convince someone, or more like himself, ignoring the way his chest squeezed and his throat tightened. He was overwhelmed by emotions he didn't even recognized and suddenly San felt so vulnerable and scared.

San leaned back against the bench with a sigh, feelings overtaking his being more than ever and he was just a powerless puppet following its orders. He looked around, but it was dark and he should probably head back by now, but he didn't know how to face Wooyoung after everything happened.

He didn't even want to think about him and what he was doing right now, because he was afraid of what he might be thinking about San right now. Did he regret it? Did he hate it? Does San disgust him now?

He shook his head and stood up. He didn't care. It was a mistake after all, he thought, Yeosang's words still repeated itself in his mind like a mantra although he never pondered on the fact that he was trying to ignore his fear of loosing him.

Wooyoung stood there, still against the window ledge, the cold breeze from the still open window hitting his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Or was it the lingering feeling of San's lips against his own, he wondered as he stared at the door San disappeared from. He touched his lips in confusion and didn't know if he should cry, laugh or scream.