Maya Stark

Chapter 143: Strange Kinda Sucks

The Sanctum Sanctorum was pretty even on the outside. I had never really been before; I just knew where to find it in case of emergencies. I stare at the front door not knowing if I should knock, not really knowing why I was here at all. I sounded crazy, even in my own mind, and I'm sure Strange was just going to turn me away.

But I had to try, didn't I? I had to figure out what was going on. What I was missing.

Still, if I think I'm going crazy, I don't need other people thinking it too. So, I look up and down the street, take a deep breath, and turn away from the door. The moment I turned away, I felt the door fly open as if the Sanctum was inviting me in, telling me there was something I needed to know. Promising the answers lay inside. And I wanted answers.

Speaking of inside: it was a mess. I could feel the intense wind from outside the door. I could see a staircase leading up in the middle of the room, a sitting area and fireplace to the right, and pretty much just open space with hallways leading to other rooms. It was huge and I had the strongest urge to explore the entire place the moment I stepped in. As soon as I entered through the door, it slammed shut, making me jump back in terror. The wind whipped my hair into my face, and it was freezing. I wrapped my arms around myself in a tight hug.

'Strange!' I scream, but it's almost like my voice doesn't carry. It barely reaches my own ears. 'What the hell?'

I turn in a full circle trying to make out anything I could. I felt like the wind was trying to push me down or push me out but now that I was here, I wasn't leaving without answers. I push through the wind, trying to find anybody at all.

'Stephen?!' I shout, trying to be louder, my voice definitely carrying now. It was like the wind decided to break for me.

'Please, don't ever call me Stephen again,' Strange said, appearing at the top of the staircase. 'Sounds way too weird.'

He floats down, landing in front of me, seemingly unbothered by the wind. How long has it been like this? Why is it so fucking cold? I have so many questions and things I want to say, but my brain wasn't letting me comprehend it all. The migraine returned.

'What's happening here?' I ask, looking around at the walls. 'Want to push out all your company or something?'

'We don't get many visitors,' he said. 'What do you need, Maya?'

As I tighten the hold on myself, I take a deep breath. My leg bounces slightly and I race my thoughts trying to figure out where to start. What to say. What do I need?

Psychological help, probably. But Strange can't help with that. Not necessarily. What he can help with is giving me information. If he knows anything. Something that could help my memory. No matter how small.

'I don't know I guess,' I sigh. 'I came here on a whim. I just... I need help.'

'You usually do,' Strange nods. 'Why is it me that has to help you?'

'Because you're the only one that can tell me the truth,' I say. The wind picks up quickly and Strange stiffens. I stiffen too. 'The truth about that day. About what happened. About what changed everything in my life. My headaches.'

'I don't know what you're talking about, kid,' Strange said.

I sigh again. 'Please. Anything.'

He looked at me and, if I didn't know any better, it was as if I saw sympathy in his eyes. 'I want to help you, Maya, I just don't know how. What has changed?'

'I have headaches constantly now. I try to think back on things I should be able to remember and they're all fuzzy and just—just wrong. Even my own father's funeral doesn't feel right, Strange. I have memory gaps. I—I can't remember anything. Nothing in my mind is right. Faces are blurred. I can't... I can't even explain it myself, but I know you can. I know something happened. Something you know about. You always know about these things. I just—Please. Please, help me, Strange. I can't lose anything more than I already have.'

Strange is quiet for a second before he shakes his head. 'As I said, Maya, if there was something I could do to help you I would. There just isn't anything different. You've had memory problems your whole life. You were the one that told me that. I—I can't help you the way you want me to.'

The wind feels like it is getting stronger by the second. My hair whips into my face and all sounds are muffled. I was starting to feel desperate. My life didn't feel right. It didn't feel like mine. This isn't the truth. And I wanted answers.

'Please,' I say, again, trying to talk over the wind. 'I need to know.'

'There's nothing for you to know,' he snapped, his agitation growing. 'Accept it and move on.'

'I can't!' I yell. 'If I could, do you think I'd be here?'

'Go home, Maya,' he said, as if his word was final. 'Pretend to be normal for a couple of days and maybe you'll feel better.'

I stare at him, slightly in shock, and slowly shake my head. 'I've lost so much, Strange. Let me get something back. I know there's something missing. And if I'm gonna deal with a pounding head for the rest of my life, I at least deserve to know why.'

He turns around, his back facing me. 'Go home.'

I breathe a sarcastic laugh. 'Can't believe I thought you'd help.'

'I did help,' he says, turning back around, suddenly. 'This is me helping. Trust me, Maya, you want to forget. You, of all people, should understand the want to forget.'

I shake my head. 'Not like this. I don't want to forget like this. I want to remember my life.'

'You never used to,' he said, slight spite in his voice. 'Goodbye, Maya.'

Before I can protest, ask my questions, sack him, anything, he walks away.

The wind pushes me back slightly and I swallow the lump forming in my throat. I was actually going insane. He admitted something was different and now I want to know more than ever. But he is the only person that can help. That, I know.

I push the thoughts out of my mind and walk out the door. Time to go home and accept that this is my life. It doesn't get any better than what I'm dealing with now. It never does.