Cherries

Chapter 7

Summer

My world had shifted.

I can't remember the last time someone's hands touched me. Caring. Comforting. Compassionate.

I felt so nice.

It has been such a long, long time.

I find myself closing my eyes and imagining that sensation of skin on skin. The warmth of another person's touch.

I surprised myself in the amount of trust I had in others that day. That it was okay to let someone in and help me. And I really did need help. Desperately so.

The flashback had been so intense and real, the fear and despair, the loss and sadness of that awful night. And although the rational part of me knew that the blood coating my body wasn't real, the irrational part of me was overwhelming in control by then.

A few weeks had passed since that night and things had settled down. I had seen Nikki weekly at her cosy home office, and her advice had really resonated with me deeply. I had benefited greatly from her extensive trauma counselling and military background. Coping strategies, positive changes, believing that there were people I could trust in my life and continuing with my training had become my sole focus. Small steps right. I was grateful that Nikki had agreed on minimal reliance on medications. I certainly had had my fair share of doctors taking the easy path of medicating my anxieties away with drug induced submission. No fucking thanks.

Training was going well. With Nikki's encouragement I had started frequenting the gym during normal opening hours. Whilst I couldn't have been more grateful to Adam for the first few months of going there outside normal hours, I had to get used to functioning properly with the hustle and bustle of people around me. I had to trust myself to believe that I would still be safe. I had to trust that nothing bad would happen. I had to trust in a world that I knew could be horrific, but I had to rise above it to be able to move past it and lead some sort of normal, happy life.

Adam and I still enjoy our Friday morning run, followed by a session in the gym. We start a little later so by the time I'm done, the gym is starting to get busy with the regular members. He can't always complete the workout with me, as his business and clients demand his time and attention. I don't mind. His presence is enough for me to still feel comfortable, although his focus is elsewhere. His eyes often seek out mine, across the gym floor, as if he's checking in on me, constantly reassuring me that he's nearby if I need him.

My warm down on the exercise bike is done, and I'm wiping my sweaty face and arms with the towel. Adam is over by the weights area, assisting some ladies in their training. As if he feels my gaze, his head lifts and his eyes find mine. He smiles at me from across the room. It's infectious. I can't help but smile back. Thankful that my towel is hiding a deeper flush of my skin.

I wonder if he has any idea of how his trust, his care and his kindness is effecting me. That his smile is finding it's way into my thoughts more and more. That his beautiful face brings a lightness into my day. That the memory of his gentle hands caressing mine and the scent of his shirt as I cried into his chest is something I am reliving more than I would ever admit. These thoughts are shifting my world. Of all the details of my life I'm sharing with Nikki, my confusing feelings about her cousin is not something I plan on discussing with her yet. I need to sort them out in my own mind first and it's a fucking jumble so far.

"You let him fuck you yet, Cherries?"

Of all the progress I'm making, these fucking pricks seem to turn up at the worst moments and suck all the confidence out of me. I turn slightly at the deep voice of Colt standing right behind me with Slade not much further away. I try and control my shudder of anxiety and panic at how close they both are. The overwhelming sense of danger lurks around them and I can't seem to be able to move. I just try and steady my breathing, ignore the thumping of my heart and wait until they move away from me. No such fucking luck.

Colt steps around in front of me, leisurely raking his seedy eyes down my body and back up to my face. I go to take a step back but at the corner of my vision I sense Slade move closer to me. My breathing picks up and I try and subtly glance over to Adam, desperate for him to look my way.

"Ah ha, he's too busy for your come fuck me eyes now. Besides... look at all the options he has in this fucking place. Plastic tits and tight arses as far as the eye can fucking feast on, hey Slade." I hear a grunt behind me in agreement.

"What? You think you're fucking special?" Colt sneers at me with an evil glint in his eyes. It's like he can smell my fear and he gladly uses that advantage over me.

"Look around darlin'. Look at all those eyes on him, just waiting for their chance, begging him to look at them, at how easily they'd let him fuck them." I look around at a few of the woman here now, and he's right. Some of them are more obvious than others, but they all have the same look. Like they want to devour Adam. Take him. Touch him. Fuck him.

"Genius fucking pick up game he's got going... fucking members with benefits." He laughs at his own words. I look up at him trying to disguise my fear and disgust at this man. I know he's trying to intimidate me, scare me, break me down.

"Better watch your back gorgeous." He says and licks his lips, stepping that little bit closer to me. His body smell and breath curls around in the air, making the hairs on my neck and arms prickle.

My voice is deathly quiet and shaky. "Why?"

"Because you're fucking with the man they all want. They're fucking him with their eyes, but every time he looks at you Cherries, they're looking at you...like...they...want...you...dead."