Projection (Male reader x Female OC)

035

If I could act on my whims then I would. But there is only so much you can do for a broken heart where it is like piecing together a window. You'll never be able to fix it but you are going to start cutting bones and skin to see any form of change.

The look on his face, I don't know if it was sadness, realization, anger... I don't know where to place it.

"What is this..."

Rin looks between me and him, before gently pushing me away from her. I express, "What it looks like."

Rin shakes her head, "What he's trying to say is that he has been there for me since the start just like you were, Dad. I've told you things that I couldn't tell him, I told him things I couldn't tell you..."

She lowers her gaze to the floor, "Or is it strange for you that my feelings actually went somewhere this time? That I didn't just... let it die?"

He looks between me and her, then shutting his eyes tightly he takes a deep breath before Mom breaks the intense silence with words with a soft tone, the same tone she always used with me, that sweet calmness that only the voice of a parent can bring to any situation.

"I only understand a fraction of it," she walks past me and sides next to Rin with her hand on her shoulder, "I've helped Rin come to terms with most of her new bodily needs, but neither of us can fathom the psychological toll it has been taking on her."

"Even words won't be enough to express what it really feels like," she walks up to him. "We both know that... we know that the words 'I want to die' is laced with so many complicated emotions that you can't ever express because nobody can understand those pains."

He looks at her with the same stare. "How long does it take before the next words you hear is 'let me die'?"

I furrow my brow, the sudden turn of putting things as it is. No beating around the bush, no softening the blow... just to lay it out as it is.

Mom rests her hand on his arm, "Hug your daughter. Don't let her face all of this alone because YOU want to preserve all that is left of your family. Hate me for my words, hate me for bringing up your past but you can't let her down, because you will kill yourself trying to be someone he wasn't. Be that father for her, it is not about what he wanted, but rather what she wants from you right this second."

The silence is tearing through us.

It is enough to break your heart.

I can see Rin's smile fades, she shakes her head lifting her hands to wipe the tears welling in her eyes.

Do something... fucking just... DO SOMETHING MAN.

I won't let you break her heart and walk away from here... I won't let it rest and I will dig my own grave and ROT in it to make sure that she doesn't face it alone.

I shouldn't act on whims.

But I will.

I step towards Rin, "You are preserving nothing but a scared image of a child and that is the final fucking thing you are going to cling to about your own blood!?" They both snap their heads to me, Mom's jaw clenches as I finally see a fucking reaction on this man's face.

"An image of a kid so scared that he'd rather slit his wrists before braving something that NOBODY should brave alone."

"(Y/N)," Rin looks at me, her tone brittle, I can hear the tears, I can hear the sadness crawling through my own mind and bleeding into my own voice.

My voice hoarse, "It's sad, you'd rather cry fighting with us when there's so much to fix here. You are afraid to let go because it is so easy for us to lose anything and everything."