Projection (Male reader x Female OC)

051

From 'showering together' to chilling on the single beds pushes together to make up for Rin's separation anxiety. The TV is playing some old-time show that you'd expect to only feature on cable but you will never quite remember the name unless you went out of your way to look for it on a two-hour Google search using quotes from the movie.

And that very same quote features in multiple Holywood hits.

"Why are you scrunching your face up like that?"

I glance at her, fixing my expression I state, "Just remembered that I wasted a lot of my time on stupid shit."

"Hm mhm," she rolls her eyes at me before laying down. "Is this where you make a joke insinuating that I am one of those things? Or do we get to deeply dive into who I was before the great shift?"

"Do you want to?" I pull my gaze away from her, watching the TV but not taking anything in.

"Do YOU want to?" She sighs loudly. "This is dangerous territory that... well I've been a bit anxious about ever bringing up with you. It is still our past no matter how we want to look at it and I want to cherish those little memories without making you feel like it would affect your sexuality."

I scoff at the way she phrases it, "I've thought more about this being gay than you've considered, my dearest Rin. I've all but determined that it is what it is and in the end... does it really matter to me what you were before we've determined that everything about you made your body, in definition, female."

"This is going to sound like those weird things... where the idiot girlfriend asks you if you'd love her as a worm... but this time I would have a worm, would you?"

I can't help but love how awkward she sounds trying to get the words out, adding onto that she manages to still make a shitty joke out of it. I lower myself beside her and rest my hand close to her, brushing my fingers over her lips.

"I-"

"I don't want you to answer," she states, lifting her hand to hold mine.

"Well, I would've just ended up giving you the answer you wanted anyway."

"Cause you want to? Or because you think I needed to hear it?"

I focus on our interlaced fingers. "I'd find a way to cope with it my own way, but... I think we are way too deep into it to just drop it if that were to ever happen. Then again, this is something that could seriously through us both into the deep end."

She answers firmly. "I'd find a way to make it work for both of us." She pulls my hand closer, resting her head in my hand. "That is all I need you to know, all that I ever want you to know, that no matter what happens between the two of us, I'd do what I needed to do for us both. I will not hesitate."

"To be together?" I ask for clarity's sake. "Or what is best for both of us?"

She nods with a smile. "Yeah."

"Two questions."

"It should be answered enough."

I smile at her, "Yeah. I suppose it will be." I chuckle as I reassure her, "So yeah if you ever want to talk about back when you were not nearly as attractive to me both physically and mentally then sure."

She lifts herself over me, narrowing her eyes at me, "Excuse me?" I roll over to my back, answering with a raised eyebrow. She then scoots closer almost as if she is pinning me to the bed to keep me from running away.

"Nothing changed about my personality."

I scoff at her, "Yeah you did. Sad and depressing is not nearly as hot when it is present in a male."

"Right right right, surely you have a fetish for broken women that could crush your gullet. But moving on from that for a bit... my appearance? I was hot."

I lift my hand to touch her but she instead grabs my wrist and pins my arm back to the bed. "You were funny, that was that. It kept them laughing so they couldn't see your face."

"I beg your pardon, I was funny?" I purse my lips trying to stifle my laughter. " (Y/N)."

"Rin?"

"You are digging a deep deep hole here." She inches closer and closer. "Are we ever going to talk about all of the factors that prove you wrong?"

"Talking about all of your admirers? You've had more after the change."

"Don't pretend for a moment that it is even a competition for a guy to have a crush in comparison to a woman. One is WAY harder to achieve than the other, mister could only date his best friend who happened to be a dude."

"Way to contribute to the statistic," I lift my head to steal a kiss.

"You," she pushes me back down. "You are so very close-" She lowers herself to kiss me, and the world drowns away at the touch of her embrace.

Her hands wander away as she straddles my middle, all of the prior conversation disappears as my only focus is the woman pinning me down. First the taste of her lips, then the warmth of her body, the wetness slipping past my lips, her fingers wandering over my body.

If I had to be honest...

If that were to happen, our relationship, what we've been through... it is way too far into to move on. It will take so much from either of us, whether it kills us or asks us more than we are willing to give.

It is just that.

A fact.

There is no walking away from what we have easily if it were to ever come down to it.