𝗡𝗶𝗿𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗮|𝗸𝘂𝗿𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

034

November 3, 1991

"Y/n?!" I run over to Krist, Kurt, And Dave. "You ready?" Dave asks. "As I'll ever be." I smile up at him. The crowd was making enough noise to make me deaf. My heart raced and my palms sweaty. I rub them against my pants and we walk out onto stage.

"Well hello there everybody!" I say into the mic. The crowd roars louder. After a few words out set begins. We jump around and sing songs. We go through our set and finally get to the last song.

"N/n! N/n!" The crowd began to chant my name egging me on to jump into them. I look over at Kurt and he smiles at me nudging his head in the direction of the crowd.

I slowly walk over to the crowd and go to the edge of the stage before letting myself fall into the people below. Krist, Dave, And Kurt begin to play our final song. I'm passed around all the way to the back of the crowd. "Move." I hear a loud voice say.

The show was over and the security was taking me out of the crowd. They pulled me aside and we walk into a hall that takes us around the room. That was really fun. While walking I notice I'm missing not one but both of my shoes and a sleeve off of my shirt.

I'm not mad though. The shoes were just beaters and the shirt was a random one I probably got from somewhere. We get to the back and I see Krist and Dave. "Shit Y/n, What happened to you?" Krist and dave say in an amused but concerned tone.

"The crowd happened to me." I laugh, Plopping down on the couch. I look up and see Kurt walking over. "Hey Bean!" "Hey Kurt." "So we had a good set today." "Yeah, We did." I looked over to see that Krist and Dave had left.

I look back over to Kurt and see him looking over to the side then walking away quickly. What's with him. I turn once more and then I see Courtney. "Y/n! Great show." Her voice laced with sarcasm. Just gotta play along. "Thank you Courtney." She continued to stare me down.

"You really have a sucky stage presence you know. You can barely walk around on stage let alone when you're off it too. I don't know why you even continue to play with them. You're holding them back. They would be so much better. I mean really, you know that playing of yours could use a little work."

My hands now balled up into fists wanting to connect straight to her jaw. I really just wanted to say to her. 'I mean really, you know that nose of yours could use a little work.' But I'm better than that. I can't start anything. She's Kurts girlfriend after all.

"You know Courtney it would be nice if you would stop saying unnecessary things." I see Krist says while walking over. "Really, You're just wasting your breath." Dave adds. Courtney stays silent. She looks like she wants to say something but walks away.

"She's really something." Krist sighs and sits down next to me. "Kurts got his work cut out for him." Dave says earning a laughs from Krist and I. The two boys and I talk about the night we had, And all the fun things until someone interrupts.

A disheveled Kurt stumbles into the room, Guiding himself using the walls, And Barley being able to hold himself up. "You know you guys didn't have to yell at Courtney like that, She's my fucking girlfriend." His words slurred and his tone raised.

"We didn't do anything. I didn't even open my mouth to her so don't blame me." I look at him trying to figure out what's wrong. "Kurt continues to ramble on but Krist interrupts.

"Yeah okay listen, Just cut the fucking crap. You know what's wrong with you right now." Krist makes direct eye contact with him and Kurt seems to back down. Kurt then looks over at me. He looks as if he has something to say but drops it and walks away.

"He really knows how to pick 'em." Dave laughs. Krist looks over at him. "You know I don't know how or why he does it. Kurt he's always been to himself. And just the way he was raised and stuff I think he's never felt loved, So he takes what he can get."

I stay quiet and watch as Dave nods at Krists explanation. I watch as Kurt stumbles around on the other side of the room. I stand up quickly and walk over to him. "Kurt." His back stays facing me and his head rests on the wall. "Kurt. Look at me." He doesn't move.

I grab his arm and pull up his sleeve. 'Holy shit...' My eyes trail over the obvious needle marks. I look up at him. I begin to shake my head and walk backwards from him. Why would he do this. "Bean..." I continue to slowly walk away. "Bean...Y/n."

I quicken my pace almost into a Jog and go out the door. "Y/N!!" Kurt calls my name louder as his voice gets closer. "Y/n." He grabs my arm and turns me around. I look him in the eyes and burst out crying. "How could you Kurt? Why do you do this." "Do what?" He knows that I know but doesn't want to say just in case I'm wrong.

"Kurt you're shooting up again." My blood is pumping fast and anger begins to fuel me. "Why Kurt." He stays quiet. "ANSWER ME KURT." He sighs and looks down. "I don't know." I scoff. "You don't know."

I continue to walk away. "Y/n wait." He runs up next to me. He grabs my hands in his. "Y/n." "What Kurt." He stays silent. "Kurt you know you've been acting more off than I've ever seen, And it seems to have started since you've met Courtney."

"Courtney has nothing to do with this." His voice laced with anger. His grip on my wrist tightens. I pull my hands away from him. "She has everything to do with this Kurt." He stay quiet again. "You promised me Kurt. I checked up on you even though you were ignoring me, Not answering my calls. Then you wanted to get aggressive when I tried to help you."

"And on top of that I forgave you even though I had this funny feeling I shouldn't have. After you PROMISED me you would stop. That you would never do it again." Kurt began to cry as well. "I tried to stop but...I just can't. It's really hard Y/n. It's really Hard-" I pulled him into hug as we cried into each others shoulders.

He knows I can't stay mad at him for long. While his crying seemed to stop mine continued. He's never going to stop, He can't help himself. 'He's never going to get better, is he?'