“Hindi nga ikaw ang ama, Gunner,” pangungumbinsi ko sa kaniya.
Nanatili kaming nakaluhod sa sahig. Inalis ko ang kaniyang kamay sa aking pisngi at pinilit ko ang aking sarili na tumayo. Tumayo rin si Gunner at nanatili ang atensyon sa akin.
“Don't you love me anymore? Because I fucking do, Claire. I fucking do that it hurts me to see you crying and pushing me away.”
My lips parted with disbelief. He loves me? Gunner fucking loves me?
“Am I not worth being a father?” muli niyang tanong.
Nagulat man sa kaniyang inamin ay pinilit kong huwag pansinin iyon. Ayaw kong umasa. Ayaw kong umasa na naman sa wala.
“N-Nagpatayo ka ng kubo para sa inyong dalawa ni Shan, Gunner,” turan ko.
Muling umigting ang panga niya. “Bullshit! I built your dream house for you!”
Muling nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Dream house?
“I even asked Engr. Eren to take over for a while for my wife wants a vacation!” he added.
Engr. Eren? Wait. Is he talking about that house? That certain house?
“That wasn't for Shan?” bulong ko, napagtanto ang malaking kamalian.
Kumunot ang noo ni Gunner. “Si Shan ba ang mahal ko?”
Isa sa mga importanteng bagay sa isang relasyon ang tiwala. Ngunit nasaan iyon? Bakit hindi ako nagtiwala? Bakit hindi ako nagtanong? Bakit mas pinili kong mag-assume?
Kinagat ko ang aking labi. “Gunner, don't make this hard for me!”
“Do I really?” paniniguro niya. “You just have to choose me and our baby, Claire. If I am not really the father, then I can father her. I can father little peanut.” Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay. “Y-You don't have to push me away. Please, don't do this.”
Pero paano? Paano kung naaawa lamang siya sa akin? Magtitiwala pa rin ba ako sa mga salita niya? Sa kaniya nga nanggaling ngunit paano kung kasinungalingan lamang ang lahat?
Umiling ako. “Nakokonsensya ako, Gunner.” Nakokonsensya akong makita kang nahihirapan.
“But I love you! Isn't it enough for you to stay married to me?”
Umiling ako. “No, Gunner. Naaawa ka lang. That's just pity, not love.”
“And who are you to say that?”
“You don't love me!” sigaw ko.
“I fucking do!”
Pinilit kong bawiin ang kamay ko sa kaniya ngunit nanatili siyang matigas. Hindi niya pinakawalan ang mga kamay ko.
“You kissed her!” I told him.
“Her forehead!” giit niya.
“You still love her!”
“Bakit mas marunong ka pa kaysa sa akin?” Bakas ang iritasyon sa mga mata niya.
Tiningnan ko siya nang maigi. “Hindi mo ako mahal, Gunner. Naaawa ka lang sa akin.”
“Fuck pity! I fucking love you!”
“You fucking love me? Or you love fucking me?”
Kumunot ang noo niya. “I didn't fucked you, Claire. Never. What we did was making love, not fucking each other.”
Muli akong natigilan. God. What is he doing to me?
Gunner narrowed his eyes. “And do you think I'll stay married to you if I don't even feel a single feelings for you? Do you think I'll agree to stay married to you if there's no blossoming love at all?”
BINABASA MO ANG
Tears of Trapped ✓
RomanceShe got him in the most evil way. She trapped him with a made up story. He begged yet she didn't listen. Now, she's dealing with the consequences of her wicked action. They got married, lived together, but she's not the wife he longed to have. Would...
