and the stars will be their guides (hermitcraft space au)

reminders (thirteen)

*

~ just felt like something you'd do for me

(you'd do for me, i'd do for you too) ~

*

TWs: mentions of death

***

All Etho can see is stars.

This, this, is how he likes it. Quiet, peaceful; just him and the void of space. (And Beef, but he isn't here at the moment, so Etho's making do without him, although it pains him to do so.)

Etho thinks that taking back his spotting shifts from Scar as Xisuma advised was probably the best thing he ever could've done. He never knew that staring at the stars with only a layer of thick glass between him and them was so therapeutic. Of course, he would rather not have the glass here, separating Etho from the thing he loves so dearly, but he can live with it.

It's better to be separated by a wall of glass than by multiple interstellar paces. 

Etho glances to the side, to where Beef would usually be standing. He's done this more times than he can count, and Beef's never there. This time, as expected, nothing's changed. Beef's still ages away, and ages away are ages too far. 

A dim speck of a planet appears in the distant darkness. If Beef were here, Etho would tell him that it's Aur W34, and Beef would give him that look, the one that always sends Etho's heart racing. He'd follow that up by asking how Etho knows this obscure fact, and he'd just shrug, pointedly not mentioning that it's in the same star system as his home planet. 

(In fact, it's only 3 planets away, and it could be easily seen on a clear night by the naked eye.)

This makes Etho think of a few days ago, when he almost had a heart attack as his home planet popped into view through his porthole window. He'd hardly been able to get to sleep that night from fear that he would wake up and they'd be landed on the planet he so begrudgingly called his old home. 

That was the only time during the whole period Beef's been missing that Etho was glad he isn't here. He easily would've been able to tell something was wrong, and then Etho would've spilled everything. 

(If Beef asks him something, Etho answers with the truth (in most cases). That's just how it works.)

Etho stares at the speck that is Aur W34. It reminds him of Beef, because of course it does. Almost anything can make Etho think of Beef these days. Anything blue, like the majority of this planet, because Beef's eyes are blue. Anything to do with plants, because Beef regularly gave him plants before his disappearance. Random things like fairy lights and squiggly lines, because he and Beef had talked about them at some point. 

Sometimes, all Etho wanted to do was close his eyes, just so he wouldn't constantly see all of these reminders. Even if he did, though, he'd still be able to smell things and hear things and touch things and taste things that reminded him of Beef. 

Suddenly, Etho feels like he wants to cry. He swallows the lump in his throat and blinks rapidly. He refuses to cry again over this. Beef is fine, and they'll find him soon, and then everything will be alright again. 

Beef wouldn't want him to cry, anyways. He wouldn't want Etho to be mourning him like he was dead, even if he was dead. 

Etho cuts off his thoughts. He doesn't want to even entertain the concept that Beef could be dead. Xisuma says it's unlikely, and Etho trusts the captain with both his life and Beef's, but he could still be wrong.