Under the same sky

Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Farewell

Just like I knew, time was really so damn powerful. After the fun we had last night, it was exchanged with a roaring silence that brings nothing but pain in our hearts.

Wayne left. 

Nagising nalang ako ng wala na siya sa tabi ko. I tried to look around but I don't see any traces that he's still here. He might have left when I was asleep, late na din kasi akong nagising dahil na rin sa hangover.

And now, I can't even find myself. Nakaupo lang ako sa sahig ng aking kwarto habang nakasandal sa kama, nakatitig sa kawalan.

I feel so lost, miserable and sick. Whatever I do, I just can't take things back to normal. Me must separate our ways, it was the only way for us to grow.

I remember the things I used to pledge at him secretly before. I have said that 'for him I would fight and with him I would live' but I was wrong after all. It was supposed to be 'with him I fight and now for him, I will live'.

What a great love twist. This is what I've been seeing from the movies, where couple found each other as their right love at the wrong time. I never did thought this would also happen in real life.

Now, fate finally won against us. Even when how we fight, we just can't win when it's already our fate ourselves opposing against us. The only thing we could do to consider peace is to agree and live with it.

I feel sober this time. Ang mga luhang kanina pa nagbabagsakan sa mata ko ay natutuyo na, halos hindi na kasi kaya ng mata ko ang magpakawala ng maraming luha. After all this time, I've been to spend my tears. I guess that even every single chapters of our story together includes my never ending tears.

Ngayon ay hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. I want to start a new life independently but I just can't. I lack out of strength to continue for he made me so damn dependent at him. I don't even know where would I find more strength when my source of strength itself leave me behind. I still have to fight, the battlefield is waiting on me.

Natigilan ako nang may mapagtanto. Wayne just can't leave without giving me something. He might have left something for remembrance.

Tumayo ako at tiningnan ang side table pero wala akong nakita. Lumabas ako sa kwarto at may nakita ako sa kusina. The food were already served, linapitan ko ito at may nakitang sulat. Agad akong umupo at binasa ito.

Dear Jean,

I've been having a bad time writing about this letter cause I feel like there's no any words could help me express my feelings for you babe... But still, I'm trying.

As what I've said last night, you are really my reflection. Noong hindi pa kita nakita, I feel like I am the worse among all. I feel like I am the only one hurting. But the moment you came in my life, I finally found someone who was the same as me. You're miserable as I am, lost like what I feel and curious as I do.

In my darkest times, you were there to give me hope. You might not see nor notice it but you were there, making me laugh when I was hiding it. Thank you for giving me more hope to continue and more reasons to live Jean.

Through the limited time I spent with you, I realized something. I came up with the thought that maybe our fate wasn't really opposing against us. Siguro sinusubukan lang tayo ng panahon. Maybe our fate was just testing how far we can reach independently, cause if we're really meant to be with each other, then there's no reason for our fate to cross our way.

I still remember what Lola Carmela said before, she said that 'our lives was just like the road we travel', sometimes we pass through smooth and sometimes though rough road. I knew we weren't in a rough road right now babe, it's just that we're on smooth but we finally separate our ways. But if there just one road I didn't regret passing, it was the road where I meet you Jean.