P.S Always and Forever

Chapter 17

I sat in my room as I read Ryder's poem for me before he went abroad. I smiled as I read it again and again and again.

Walang pagod sa pagbabasa. Hindi na nga ako nagbabasa ng ibang libro kapag free time ko. Poems lang ni Ryder ang inaatupag ko at hindi rin nakakasawa ito.

Kay tagal na kita nakita,
Dahilan para magtagal ka sa aking alaala.

Ilang taon man ang dumaan,
Parehas pa rin ang nararamdaman.

Ng isang batang naglalaro ng bola,
Sa isang batang babae sinusulat ang nadarama gamit ang tinta.
Ang batang lalaki ay kalaunan nangako,
Sa babaeng mas mahalaga kaysa ginto.

Ang ginoo ay hindi makakalimot sa pangako,
Dahil ang binibini na ang may ari ng kanyang puso.

Ikaw ay dadalhin ko kung nasaan man ako,
Dahil habangbahay ako'y iyo.

Bella, nangako rin ako sa mga bituin,
Na aalagaan ka kalaunan.
Ang nadarama ay hindi na mawawala,
Lagi at magpakailanman.

–BRL

I hugged his jersey and hoodie that he also gave me along with this poem. He even gave me a bottle of his signature perfume that I always smell whenever we're close. It was a strong man's scent, but it didn't make me nauseous. It even made me miss him more!

The jersey he gave was the one he wore in his first college game. The hoodie he gave me is the one I saw him always wear in college. I'm guessing this was his favorite, but it's now mine.

My parents asked one time about this. Kagigising ko lang kasi at pinatawag ako sa baba nila mommy. I didn't know I was wearing the hoodie to sleep until they mentioned it!

I remembered how I blushed during that day. They had their teasing smiles. Kahit nakakahiya, sinabi ko ang tungkol kay Ryder. It feels good to open this up. Lalo na kilala pala ni daddy si Ryder dahil mahilig manood ng basketball.

"Bella, I'm not against dating. But your dad and I want you to focus on your studies. Build your future, as Ryder is also building his abroad. Pag uwi niya, you have the freedom to build your future together." Mom gave me some advice, which I will carry with me every day.

Boys in college tried to date me. Some fell onto my message request at hindi ko na inalam ang mga pangalan nila. I don't even know where they see me!

Hindi nila ako kilala tapos magugustuhan ako? It's so superficial because it's only the surface they all care about. Once they know you, they will run.

Some of my blockmates admitted their feelings for me but I respectfully rejected their confession. They accepted their rejection and didn't hate on me because of it.

There's no point in dating because a man who's playing basketball in Japan is who I want to date. He's all I can think about.

We fully stopped communicating. He's even inactive in his social media accounts. Ilang buwan na ang last tweet and IG post niya.

But I followed some accounts that give announcements about the B.League and I can see that he's doing so well with his passion abroad. The happiness I feel for him is astounding. The pride I feel for him is incomparable.

I saw female celebrities and models were sometimes linked to him but the assurance he gave me during his college days was enough to keep me at bay. Those women were just the face of his basketball team there.

I admit that there's an uneasy feeling everytime I see articles like that. Pero mas nangingibabaw ang tiwala ko kay Ryder. Malaki ang tiwala ko sa pangako niya. I know that he's the type of person who keeps his promises.