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(Lucien's Past - Part 5)
Lucien's POV
Lumabas ako sa classroom para hanapin si Axel. Tumakbo ako papunta sa library, sa cafeteria, sa clinic pati na rin sa rooftop ngunit hindi ko siya nahanap.
Sandali akong napahinto para habulin ang hininga ko, balak kong sunod na bisitahin ang principal's office baka nandoon siya.
Napadaan ako sa banyo at nagdesisyon na pumasok muna bago tumuloy sa principal's office.
Malakas na tawanan ang naririnig ko sa loob ng banyo nang malapit na ako sa pinto nito kaya huminto ako at hindi muna pumasok.
“I heard it was Andrew the 9th Grader who took that photo, the new member of the photography club na laging may dalang camera kahit saan siya magpunta.”
“Bakit ka kasi pumayag na makipagrelasyon sa isang lalaki.” Narinig kong pag-uusap nila sa loob.
“Hindi ko rin alam, but I regretted it.” Nanlaki ang mata ko nang marinig ang pamilyar na boses na iyon.
“Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang hinalikan mo ang labi ng isang lalaki, yuck!”
“But I didn't kiss that disgusting shit.” That familiar voice again.
Nanginginig ang tuhod ko habang sinubukan kong pumasok upang kumpirmahin ang hinala ko.
My fear came true, it was him.
“Axel?” tawag ko sa kanya kaya nagulat silang lahat at napalingon sa akin.
“Oh, the gay who's crazy in love with Axel is here,” pang-aasar ng isang kasama nila, at nagtawanan silang lahat maliban kay Axel na seryosong nakatingin sa akin.
“Hey guys, can you please leave us alone first?” wika niya sa mga kasama niya.
“Why? Are you gonna do something fishy?” hindi sila huminto sa pang-aasar.
“Just get out!” Medyo napatalon silang lahat ng tinaasan sila ng boses ni Axel.
This time they followed him and went outside.
“Axel, you didn't mean what you've said earlier right? I can understand if you're just saying it to save your reputation, just tell me the truth,” I said and faked a smile.
“Lucien, I think I made a mistake in the first place. If only I found out that your gay in the beginning, hindi na dapat kita kinaibigan.”
“W-what are you saying? Do you really regret everything?” My voice almost cracked as I feel my eyes getting teary.
“I realized something this past few weeks being with you. Society will never accept us, just like now everyone is judging us, and we are not free,” aniya.
“But did you ever love me?” I asked.
“To be honest, I only see you as my brother. From the start I wanted to be good to you because I see you as a brother I can trust and reliable, but you misunderstood my intentions,” pag-amin niya.
Nanlisik ang mga mata ko, “If you didn't really love me that way then why did you ask me to date you?!”
“I was curious what it feels like to date a guy,” sagot niya.
My fist clenched at hindi ko napigilang suntukin ang pagmumukha niya. Hindi rin siya umiwas kaya medyo namaga ang kaliwang pisngi niya.
“Ah, I get. It's just because of your curiosity. THEN I WISH YOU HAVE FINALLY SATISFY YOUR CURIOSITY AFTER USING ME AND PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS!”
I angrily wiped the tears flowing down my cheeks.
“You are abnormal and disgusting. Men should be with women, you can never be happy kung ganyan ka Lucien,” aniya.
Hindi ko na siya pinansin at lumabas na ng banyo. Ayoko ko nang makita ang mukha niya o marinig ang boses niya.
He wasn't a good friend after all. He left me alone in my battles and didn't even try to defend me, instead Axel joined the enemy and attacked me.
Parang naging balewala ang mga pinagsamahan namin. He's the worst.
I felt sick thinking about him. Kaya umuwi na ako kaagad.
Ilang araw akong nagkulong lang sa kwarto ko at hindi na ako pumasok pa. Wala akong kinuwento kina mama o papa sa mga nangyayari sa akin kahit ilang beses nila akong tinatanong, but in the end they tried to understand me at hindi na nila ako pinilit pa.
Isang taon akong huminto sa pag-aaral, at nang nakilala ko na si James muli akong nagkaroon ng kaibigan nang nalaman kong magkapareho kami na tinatago rin sa lahat ang kanyang sexual orientation, that's why we both understand each other.
He suggested to me the academy where he go to, at nung lumipat na nga ako sa Eastern Pearl Academy I wanted to redeem myself, so I put my past behind me and tried to forget it but I will never forgive the man who gave me a terrible pain.
BINABASA MO ANG
Unstoppable Feelings (BL)
RomansaLev Andrew Collins. All his life he kept the truth about him being gay to everyone including his family and bestfriend. Pero gaya nga ng sabi ng lahat, walang sikretong hindi nabubunyag. Date Started: June 2023 Date Ended: December 2023 Status: Comp...
