Grape Juice (By the Border, #1) ✓

18

"I hope this is fine with you."

I stopped kicking rocks away from the cement stairs. "Ba't hindi? Wala ka namang sinabing pupunta tayo sa ibang bansa," sarkastikong tanong ko habang pinanood na malaglag ang mga bato sa pinakaunang palapag.

"Wala, baka kasi dapat naghanda man lang ako ng mga gamit at pagkain bago tayo umalis. Ang tagal na nating hindi nag-pi-picnic." Mom paused to put the hair framing her face behind her ears, a gesture she often did when embarrassed.

I hummed. "Five years is a long time." Kasama pa namin si Papa noon. Hindi na bumalik si Mama rito mula noong mawala siya.

"Nice spot you have here," kumento niya nang maakyat namin ang pinakamataas na palapag ng gusali. "Hindi ka pa pinapayagan ng papa mo na pumunta rito noon kasi walang harang sa dulo. Hanggang ngayon pala, wala pa ring harang."

"I know. Some things never change, Ma."

"You did. Dito ka na tumatambay, hindi sa dalampasigan." But I knew what she really meant.

Pinili kong hindi iyon pansinin. "Pa'no niyo alam na tumatambay ako rito?"

Taas kilay niya akong hinarap ngunit may ngiting naglalaro sa kaniyang labi. "You think I don't know about you sneaking out? You didn't have to enter through your window, by the way. Iniiwan kong bukas ang front door tuwing wala ka."

Oh.

The sea waves filled the silence that occurred, and I did nothing else, save for sitting on the ground with my legs crossed, my focus solely on the horizon. Mom had done the same, and neither of us had the heart to talk.

Sa totoo lang ang hindi ko pa rin tapos iproseso ang nangyari kanina, kaya hindi ako makapaniwala sa narinig ko. And who would've known that after years of sneaking out of the house to go here alone, I'd be in this building beside the same person I religiously avoided?

I was far from ready for anything that might happen moents from now. Would we fight? Cry? Make up? Or would we just sit here, basking in each other's presence without a word? Walang may alam sa magiging posible dahil ang libo-libong posibilidad na bumukas dahil sa mga ipinakita sa akin ni Mama ngayon. Hahayaan ko nalang sigurng masunod ang tadhana.

"Gustong gusto ni Weston ang lugar na 'to," panimula niya habang sinisilayan ang asul na karagatan. "Hindi pa kami kinakasal, dito na niya ako dinadala tuwing nagyayaya akong hindi pumasok sa school. Noon ay hindi ko pa maintindihan kung ba't ito ang paborito niyang puntahan. There's nothing special about the north border. It doesn't even have a real name—it's just a border facing the north. It isn't a tourist attraction, either. Ano bang meron dito na wala ang ibang lugar?"

"As if Arden has tourists," I muttered. "This city is boring as hell."

She chuckled lowly. "Can't argue with that." Unti-unting lumawak ang ngiti niya. A light brush of melanchoia washed over her face. "You know what he said when I asked him that? He said this place mirrored him. Nagsimula siyang magsulat ng mga nobela bago mag-kolehiyo. Sabi ng lahat sa kaniya na magaling siya at subukan niyang magpasa ng manuscripts sa mga publishing house para marami pang makabasa sa mga akda niya. That was what he did, but all the others did was give his book the simplest compliments before walking away."

"And this place is beautiful, but not beautiful enough for people to stay," mahina kong dagdag.

"Kaya pinili niyang bumalik, at patuloy siyang bumalik hanggang sa dulo ng buhay niya. He stayed for the north border, and he stayed for himself."

Judging by the lightness underlying her tone, Mom was at ease now. A part of me wanted to leave it at that, when relief ruled our feelings. No thoughts of suicide, no voice torturing me every hour, no moments of awkward silence. I wanted this. Gusto kong saglit na tumigil ang oras at manatili ako rito, sa lugar kung saan magaan ang pakiramdam ko, kung saan ko nakakausap si Mama nang hindi winawasak ang puso ko.