Grape Juice (By the Border, #1) ✓

20

Paano ba dapat paghandaan ang kamatayan?

Ngayong nakabalik na ako sa aking kwarto kasama ang mga liham na aking sinulat ngunit hindi planong ibahagi, at ang mga bagay sa aking isipang hindi planong sabihin, ngayon ko napagtantong hindi ko dapat tinanong iyon kay Mama.

I didn't wait for her to respond, either. I couldn't do it. Agad akong pumasok sa kwarto at kinandado ang pinto. I felt stupid for asking, but I knew I shouldn't blame myself so much.

Death was taking its toll on me, and I wasn't certain if I could carry the heavy burden any longer.

Kahit na. Gusto ko pa ring subukan.

I spent the next four days heading straight to the Valerias' after school with Kenzie. Hindi na gaanong malinaw ang mga imahe sa aking isip tuwing inaalala ko ang mga panahong iyon. All I knew was that it came as a silent agreement between us all. Sabay-sabay lamang kaming naghapunan simula noong Lunes, at para bang matagal na naming tradisyon iyon. Wala ni isa sa aming kumwestyon—baka dahil walang may lakas ng loob na gawin iyon.

Friday afternoon was different. Inabot ako ng siyam-siyam sa pagdating dahil dumaan pa ako sa palengke para bumili ng karne at iuwi iyon kay Mama. Despite my late arrival, I could tell the subtle shift in the air the moment I entered the apartment. Masiyadong tahimik si Nadine habang nagmamasa ng dough sa kusina. Madalas kasi ay kausap niya si Kenzie tuwing nagpapatulong ang dalaga sa kaniyang Math assignment.

Kasama niyang magluto si Kenzie na nasa kabilang dulo ng counter at hinahalo ang tomato sauce sa kaserola, pero ang tingin niya'y nasa nakabukas na bintana kung saan walang nakaharang sa mga kahel na ulap at ang lumulubog na araw. Her hands were busy stirring the large pot, but her mind was someplace else. Klein and I shared knowing looks before we parted ways, him going back to his spot in the living area and me heading to the kitchen to watch.

"Hey, Wes." Si Novah ang unang nakapansin sa pagdating ko. "How was school?" he asked as he took my bag and placed it on the countertop.

Tinanguan ko siya bilang pagbati. "Shitty."

"Gods, so sorry I didn't hear you enter," Kenzie joined in, a hand on her chest. "Hey."

"Hey. Kailangan niyo ng tulong d'yan?"

"Nope. Pinilit ko lang din si Mom na paglutuin ako kasi..." Kasi ang dami kong iniisip, marahil ay iyon ang muntik niyang masabi dahil malinaw ang pagkapinta nito sa kaniyang mukha. She pointed at the simmering sauce. "Patapos na ako rito, and Mom says I should stay more than five feet apart from the pasta."

"Kasi ma-o-overcook mo na naman," singit ni Nadine. "Wesley, sweetie, go with Novah. I'm good here," aniya habang inilalagay ang hilaw na pasta sa kaserolang puno ng kumukulong tubig. "And call Klein, please. Sabi niya kanina, gusto niya raw mag-ihaw ng manok."

"Sure."

"Wanna buy snacks with me?" Novah asked, and the stupid grin on his face was hard to ignore. "I'll get lots of grape juice."

"Whatever."

May convenience store malapit sa kanilang apartment, at kung mag-isa akong umalis ay dalawang minuto lang ang lakad, pero dahil magkasama kami ni Novah ay umabot ito sa lima. We walked slowly and Novah asked to stop a few times so he could catch his breath. I didn't mind. Walang nagbago; komportable pa rin siya sa pagpapakita ng kaniyang kahinaan tuwing nandito ako, at wala akong nakitang mali roon. If anything, I was grateful.

He was a little sweaty and tired when we arrived, so I told him to wait outside and sit on one of the vacant benches while I bought the snacks. Nang balikan ko siya ay nahuli ko si Novah na nakatitig sa bakanteng kalsada. Like his sister earlier, Novah seemed like he was someplace else.