Maid in Atlanta

Facing Reality

August and i was still not speaking my will to care was shut down i wanted to speak to him i wanted to tell him how i felt inside but i couldn't, i dont need to have a pitty party or any sympathy. I got up and went to the restroom to wash my face i looked in the mirror and my eyes where beyond puffy. I heard August come in the room. He turned the bedroom light on and looked through his closet. I walked over to the bed hopping under the covers covering myself.
"candice just thought you should know im leaving to St. Louis for a show". I laid in the bed motionless. I heard him walking towards the bed and kneeling down in front of me. "Candice," he said my name low and sweet. I ignored him.
"Candice, look I'm sorry if," he paused. "I'm sorry For what i said yesterday" he finally added. "I don't wanna leave like this" he moved the covers from my face. I just laid there with my eyes closed. "Candice, so you sleep now? Impossible you just got in the bed".
"I'am sleep" i said with my eyes still shut
"Ok," and he walked away taking his pants off getting in the bed with me.
"What are you doin"
"What it look like" he snaked his long legs and arms around my body pulling me to him.
"Dont you have to be somewhere"
"Aint you supposed to be sleep" he had a point i stop talking and i felt him kissing me.
"I'm sorry" he whispered i turned over facing him. "No you're not"
"Yes i am" he kissed me again this time he used his tongue. He slowly partied my mouth with his sliding his tongue in my mouth. Our lips locked and our tongues danced. His hands roamed my body easing up my shirt caressing my full breast. He grabbed my thigh pulling my leg over his hip.August hands on my ass going inside my shorts he made his way to my lips rubbing on my clit kissing me.He moved from my lips looking me in my eyes. He set up getting in between my legs. He took his shirt off throwing it across the room. He taped my thigh.
"Take these off too" he was signaling for me take my shorts off. I slide them off laying on my back looking at him. Next thing i knew i felt him inter inside me.
"I'm sorry" he whispered in my ear.
"August the condom" he kept stroking his long thick penis inside me.
"Shhh i wont get you pregnant" he moaned in my ear. He felt so good inside of me. He took his time and kissed me. Never had i have a better feeling. They way he loved my body he could kiss every hurt,pain, stress away that he caused me. His full lips were so soft against my bare skin i laid there letting him show me how sorry he was.
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"Candice," he said laying next to me
"Yes" i said rolling on my side facing him
"What if i told you something,would you be honest with me"
"Yea, why wouldn't i be"
"I dunno" his facial expression told me he had something that was on his mind.
"Aug, whats up" i said pulling him into me wrapping my arms around him.
"I, how can i say this, I don't wont you to leave me and i know my actions are kinda fucked up at times i guess im still understanding myself, I just wana know if your willing to stick it out with me, i just want you to be here for me" i laid next to him looking at him. I started to tear up thinking about my cancer coming back and what lies ahead of me and the fact that forever might not exist. "Baby, whats wrong?" He said gently placing his hand on my face.
"Nothing, of course August, I'll be there for you" i said wiping my eyes.
"Are you okay"
"Yea I'm fine" there was a knock on the door.
"Yeahh". August yelled
" we ready to roll out" T said cracking the door.
"Aight i'll be right there" he said sitting up looking at T.
"Come with me" he said leaning over me
"No, im going to stay behind"
"You sure? Its nothin to take you with me i don't mind"
"No, I will be here when you get back, do what you need to do" he leaned towards me kissing me.
"Aight,see you when i get back" he got up off the bed grabbing his shirt i followed him downstairs to the front door where the uber was picking him up. He carried a small luggage and wore his headphones around his neck. I stood in the doorway as he walked to the car. "Oh August wait" he stopped and turned towards me. I went in the house getting two plates out the fridge taking them to him.
"I made you food to take with you" he looked at me smiling he hugged me and kissed me.
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"So whats up with you and Candy canes" T set across from me on the plane.
"I really like her i just need to get my shit right" i said closing up my mackbook
"Yea she a rider thats fasho, a very good woman to have by ah niggas side"
"I know T, she special to me"
"That she is,have you thought about making it official?"
"Like dating, nah im not ready for that i mean i want it but i wana be good and ah nigga slipping big time"
"People dont wait forever yung" he said that and it was time to get off the plane. Big T is right but ion like to rush a damn thang i learned my lessons before, I really care about Candice, she is truly a blessing to me. I think I'm just scared of losing her if i fuck up. I just want to be the best guy for her and right now i'm not. I will never tell her that I love her, that she has me where she wants me. She ain't say it but I'm willing to go to rehab for my issues. I had to have that talk with her i needed to know that she will have my back even though I know she will hold me down, I needed to hear it. She is everything i need and more and i recognize her efforts and when i get home i will show her thats my word.

Comments....
Why wont August tell her he loves her... Pour Candice dealing with her health.. Scared of the thought she may not make it this time...