LOVELORN

23|New & old friends

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

IT WASN'T often that Zora got mad at me. Or mad in general. She was patient and understanding, especially with me. When Zora loved someone, she did it with all her heart. If you were lucky enough to get to experience that, you held onto it. But right now, I knew I needed to temporarily pull myself away from her, or our friendship wouldn't survive. Until I learned how to be just her friend and come to terms with her dating my brother, I couldn't be around all her love. Knowing this didn't make the situation any easier, however.

"Zora, you're my best friend," I started with because I didn't know what to say.

She cocked an unimpressed eyebrow. "Yes. What's your point?"

"The thing is, I think I've built a sort of reliance on you. When I'm around you I feel more at peace, happier."

Confusion spread over her face. "I don't get it, is that a bad thing?"

"Just let me finish, please?"

She frowned, but nodded.

"My point is, I've relied on you too much for my happiness and I guess I never saw that as a problem until I realized my feelings are too dependant on you. I don't want you to feel like you always have to be there to make me happy. But I also want to learn how to be happy without you."

I hadn't even realized the depth of how true that was until now. Of how much I really depended on Zora. Or maybe I knew, but didn't register it as something that could be harmful to my mental health and our friendship.

"Do you..." she hesitated, "want to go to therapy again?"

"I think I need more than a school counselor and my parents won't pay for therapy, so no."

"A school counselor is better than nothing. We could help pay for it."

I shook my head, immediately protesting. "No, I can't ask that of your dad. No way."

Zora stepped closer, placing her hands on my shoulders and forcing me to look at her. I could only keep eye contact for a brief moment before the intensity in her eyes overwhelmed me too much and I glanced away.

"Naya, do you want to go to therapy? I'm not asking if you can, if it wasn't for money, would you want to?"

Therapy had helped me. Unfortunately I had been pulled out of it before I was ready. There were still so many things I struggled with, so many things I needed help with.

"Yes."

"Then we will figure something out," she said and I could hear how serious she was about it.

"Zora, therapy wasn't what I was going to bring up earlier."

She grew hesitant. "What were you going to say?"

"That I think I need to grow outside of our friendship."

The puzzle seemed to fall into place in her head. Her hands fell from my shoulders and her face dropped. The hurt was obvious on her face and I hated it.

"What does that mean?"

"I don't think we should be friends for a while," I forced out.