28|Him & me

727 28 19
                                    

.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

NAYA'S POV

NOWHERE IN my plan had the conversation with Zora gone like this. I'd been debating telling her I knew they were together, and then I saw Avi about to kiss Zora, and suddenly I had to tell her. Lying hadn't crossed my mind. I couldn't pretend like I didn't know. Not now. Not anymore.

In the kitchen, I'd almost told her. The truth had been resting on the tip of my tongue. But I couldn't get the words out without feeling like I would choke on them. Part of me wanted to brush it under the rug and pretend I didn't know anything, but a larger part of me needed this secret looming between us to be broken.

"How long have you known?" Avi asked slowly.

I took a breath, bracing myself. "December."

"That's over a month," Zora said, bewildered. Her jaw dropped open slightly as if some sort of realization had hit her. "You found out before the trip, didn't you?"

I nodded, biting my lip. Zora didn't say anything, neither did Avi. She stood in silence, seeming to process this information. Just about a hundred emotions flashed by her face and I stared, also quiet.

Truthfully, I wasn't sure what I was feeling either. I'd imagined a thousand different scenarios in which I told her, or she found out I knew. When I'd just found out, they'd all ended in anger and tears. But as the weeks went by, they had shifted into something more calm, more reasonable. The heartbreak still resided there, however. Not necessarily dormant, but in a state of reluctant acceptance. I would never want to deprive her of happiness. If Avi made her happy, so be it.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Zora eventually asked.

"I wanted you to tell me. And..." my voice cracked. I avoided her eyes. "I was hurt, Zora."

"How did you find out?" It was Avi this time.

His question forced me to relive the memory.
It might have been quite a few weeks ago, but the pain felt fresh all of a sudden. Like I'd slapped a plaster over a knife wound and pretended it didn't exist. But now it was peeling at the edges and I was afraid everything I'd bottled up and patched up with that little plaster would come leaking out and I would be all alone to pick myself up because I couldn't tell Zora the real reason it hurt so much. I could never.

I put on the most blank face I could muster up. If my face appeared numb, maybe I could pretend I was unbothered.

"That night when we were packing for the trip, I woke up and Zora wasn't there. She was gone for a while, so I got worried. When I went downstairs, I heard you guys talking, then I saw you kiss."

"Fuck, I knew something was off the next morning," Zora said, cursing under her breath. She looked at Avi over her shoulder. "Maybe it's best if Naya and I talk alone." Then, to confirm, she looked at me again. "Is that okay?"

"Probably for the best," I said, barely keeping everything in. While I needed to talk to both of them, I couldn't handle it at the same time.

Avi tilted his head, seeming as if he was trying to peer into my soul and decipher my feelings. After an uncomfortable couple of seconds, he mumbled a goodbye and then he was out of there. Zora closed the door behind her. When she faced me, I could see her eyes watering. She was trying to blink them away, but it wasn't doing much.

LOVELORNWhere stories live. Discover now