LOVELORN

45|Grief & longing

.　 *. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

ＺＯＲＡ'Ｓ ＰＯＶ

IT TOOK me less than two days to get desperate enough to contact Avi. In between that time, I'd messaged and called Naya what felt like a million times and had also asked all of our mutual friends if they'd heard anything from her. None of them had. I would have gotten in touch with Adya, but I didn't have her phone number and she was inconveniently one of the few teens that didn't have social media.

Another two days passed and Avi didn't respond. We weren't on great terms, but it wasn't like him not to answer.

I'd tried to enjoy the trip, but how could I when there was a persistent knot in my stomach, twisting tighter and tighter as the days had gone by? Some instinct in me knew it had to do with their parents. I didn't know the limits of their parents, so suspecting they were involved only made the knot grow.

My dad and I were out taking a stroll around the city when my phone pinged with a text.

Mai
𝚍𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝙽𝚊𝚢𝚊'𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛, 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜. 𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚋𝚌 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙸'𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠! <𝟹

Zora
𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐!! 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝙸'𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍

My poor mood hadn't escaped my dad, who'd checked in on me persistently. I kept insisting I was fine, even though he was well aware that I was bluffing. He had gotten used to it, I'd been pretending like I was okay for months now. In actuality, everything that had happened this year and the end of last had stacked up until I was crumbling under the weight of it all.

A crushing longing for a mom I had never known slithered its way into my veins, the blood coursing through them whispering that I was part of her. This person I'd never known, yet I felt like I had when my eyes met their own in the mirror, or when I noticed the lack of similarities I shared with my dad, from our different skin tones to our eyes. She'd left remnants of herself in me.

Sometimes I would look at the moon and wonder if she somehow knew she would die young, if there was a lingering feeling stirring in her, murmuring that she didn't have long, comforting her that pieces of herself would persevere in her daughter. I wondered if I had fragments of her soul too, if I shared her laughter or a particular quirk she had. It only seemed a mercy to let whispers of her be preserved on earth through me, so I could know her beyond the boundaries of death. Ripping a mom from her daughter before she could even speak was a cruelty, the universe had to repent for it somehow, didn't it?

I wanted my mom, instead, I was stuck with my grief and a lack of memories to fill the vacancy in my heart that craved to know her love. My dad talked about her like she was both the sun and the moon, like she was his soulmate. I could only wish to experience a love like that.

An image of Naya flashed brightly in my mind and I thought, maybe I already was experiencing it.

"And then he crashed into me with an airplane-"