LOVELORN

44|Midnights & falling

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*This chapter contains a trigger warning for abuse, it also contains other triggers such as mentions of suicide*

ＺＯＲＡ'Ｓ ＰＯＶ

THE LANDSCAPE beneath us shrank as the flight took off. When we were high enough above the ground, the view was obstructed by a layer of clouds. The soft hum of music echoed in my ears, drowning out the noise of the engine and the chattering around me. My eyelids fluttered shut as I prepared myself to sleep through the flight.

When I returned to consciousness, I groaned upon realizing there were still hours left of the flight. My dad had a show on, so I rested my head on his shoulder and watched it with him. He gave me one of his earbuds so I could hear the audio as well.

Around thirty minutes in, Dad paused the episode and took out the earbuds. I frowned, waiting for him to speak.

"Everything okay, kid?"

"Yeah, of course," I assured him. "Why?"

"You've just seemed a bit zoned out today, that's all."

It hadn't occurred to me that he might have picked up on that. While I was excited about the trip, my mind was somewhere else. Yesterday kept replaying in my head every time I wasn't distracted. The talk we'd had. The kiss, especially the kiss. As much as thinking about it made heat course through me, a sliver of shame would ruin it when it crossed my mind that I'd kissed my ex's sister. First and foremost she would always be my best friend, but she was still his sister. Yet, as wrong as it might be, I didn't regret it. I regretted dating him more than I regretted kissing her, even if it made guilt crash over me that I felt that way.

There was also another factor that complicated everything. She was a girl and I was straight. Or at least I'd thought I was. Seeing as I enjoyed kissing her more than I'd ever liked kissing a boy, maybe straight wasn't exactly an accurate way to describe my sexuality anymore. Which left me with one problem-a big fucking identity crisis.

Since I didn't want to explain all of that to my dad, I resigned to a simple, "I'm fine, just tired."

To be fair, it wasn't a lie. I couldn't fall asleep last night, so I was tired. But it wasn't the main reason I was zoned out. Not by far.

"I'll pretend I believe you until you're ready to talk about it," my dad said because he just knew me.

I smiled and we left it at that, returning to watching the show. After a couple of episodes, the landing process had started and he turned off his device. As usual, it took an unreasonably long time between when we landed to when we'd gotten our bags and a taxi to the hotel. When we were finally in the hotel room, I promptly took a shower and hopped into bed to take a well-needed nap, shooting Naya a text that I was at the hotel before I did.

My dad woke me up an hour later so I could get ready for our dinner reservation. It was a lavish restaurant, so I went for a dress that suited the occasion and put on makeup. Since it was a short walk, we went on foot.

"Are things better with you and Naya?" My dad asked once we were seated and settled.

I choked on a piece of bread I was chewing on. It was a completely innocent question, but it brought up memories that had me feeling far more flustered than appropriate. My reaction didn't slip past my annoyingly observant dad, whose face formed into one of pure curiosity. He was like a high schooler looking for a fresh piece of gossip.