Me and derek are in his bedroom, kissing in my bed. He keeps trying to feel me up, but it doesn't turn me on.. it just fills me with emotions.
Why does he keep trying to sleep with me again? Does he want me just for my body? Did I finally give him what he wants, and now he's just gonna leave?
"Derek stop" I say as his hand runs up my shirt whilst we kiss. "Oh, I'm sorry" he pulls away. "I don't want you to do that" i whisper. "I'm sorry baby, I didn't know" he puts his hand on my cheek.
"You wanna cuddle for a bit?" He asks. I nod. Sometimes, I think he gets me.. I think he knows what I'm thinking. This is one of those times.
I hug him tight. "Its okay, if you don't want to have sex with me again.. if I was bad, you can tell me" he whispers. Maybe he doesn't get it..
"I won't be offended, but I need to know.. so you can tell me and next time I can change it and try to make you feel better" He says. I sigh, pulling away from him.
"You don't get me, derek" I grab my things. "Baby" he says as I walk away. "What did I do?" He asks. I go home.
He calls me as soon as I get into my bedroom. I answer it. "What?" I ask. "I don't know what I did.." he says quietly. I sigh. "Just leave me alone for a little while" I hang up. I toss the phone aside and climb into bed.
----
I wake up to a quiet knocking on my bedroom door. "What?" I mumble. Derek walks in. I smile as I see he's holding a small bunch of flowers that he's obviously just picked from his back garden.
"I'm really sorry" he hands them to me. "Come here" I hold my arms open. He climbs into them and I hug him tight. "I'm sorry, I was a bitch" I say. He shakes his head. I nod.
"I just feel so insecure sometimes when you touch me.. and I expect you to understand it, but that's so unreasonable and selfish.. I'm so sorry" I say.
"Why does it make you insecure?" He asks. "Because it makes me feel like the only reason we're hanging out is so you can get laid again" I say. "Never!" He says.
"Listen baby, sex should be so enjoyable for us both.. its not just me that should be wanting it, its you too" he explains. "I do want it, but I'm scared it'll hurt again" I say. "It felt so good before the pain started though, right?" He asks. I nod.
"You know I can try other things on you too, right baby?" He says. "Like what?" I ask. "I could go down on you" he whispers, looking down. "Would you be okay doing that?" I ask shocked. He nods.
"I want to do it! It's a massive turn on" he smiles. "You don't think it's gross?" I ask. "No, not at all" he says.
"I think its gross.. I dont want to do it on you" I say. He chuckles. "That's okay" he says. "Really?" I ask. He nods. "I mean, I'd have liked it if you did.. but if you don't want to, I completely understand" he says.
"But.. you'll still do it on me if I won't on you?" I ask. "Yes" he says. "And you're not mad?" I ask. "No, why would I be?" He chuckles. I shrug.
I lean in slowly. He smiles, looking into my eyes. I kiss him. He puts his hand on my cheek, deepening the kiss instantly.
The bedroom door opens and we pull away quickly. "Do you two want anything to eat?" My mom asks. She's being nice again. Great.
"No thanks" I say. "Derek?" She asks. "No thank you" he doesn't take his eyes off of me. She leaves, closing the door behind her.
He kisses me passionately. I moan quietly, laying down under him as he hovers over me. He gently sucks on my neck and chest.
My breathing gets heavier as he kisses down my body and spreads my legs. I'm wearing a dress, so he kisses the insides of my thighs.
"Stop" I say. He pulls away quickly. "What's wrong?" He asks. "I haven't shaved or washed or anything" I sit up. "Its okay, I don't mind" he says. I shake my head. He sighs, sitting up.
"I don't even know how to do that" I panic. "If it bothers you, then just get a wax baby" he says. "I can't! I haven't got money.. and it's embarrassing" I whisper.
"I don't know how to shave" I say. "Please mer, I really don't care.. just let me eat you out" he whines. I smile as I see how desperate he is for it. That makes me feel good.
"I'm going to ask cristina" I say. "Okay" he sighs. I giggle as he kisses my panties softly before getting up.
"Der" I say. "Yeah?" He asks. "Can we go on a date?" I ask nervously. "Um.. I'd love to baby, but neither of us have any money" he smiles small. "I was thinking a picnic in the park" I say. "Oh, sure that sounds good" he says. I smile.
"Come here" he cuddles into me. I smile, closing my eyes as I rest my head on his chest.
YOU ARE READING
not good enough
Fanfictionmeredith is 16 years old. she's not too popular in her school but people know who she is. she has a few close friends but gets along with anyone who talks to her. she is single but likes to fool around with boys from time to time. she has her eye on...
