(we begin the chapter back in the colony, Thad gets flung backwards. Lizzy and Doll rush to help him as J arrives.)
Khan: So... They found our evacuation spot. But, if we build a quick door...
(Thad gets up.)
Thad: Are you kidding me?! You're the WDF, right? Defend! (Khan and his friends back off in more cowardice.) For real?
(V arrives and impales Thad. Just as she's about to kill him...)
Uzi: Hey!
V: Huh?
Uzi: Put that conventionally attractive male down!
Peppino: It's-a time to chew ass and kick bubblegum-a! (Spins a shotgun in the air, before cocking it)
Gustavo: "Let's-a go", Brick!
Peppino: was that-a your impression of me?
Gustavo: uh...
(N waves before Uzi nudges him.)
N: Oh! Uh, J, you're sometimes kind of mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism.
Uzi: Nice. (They fist bump.)
Peppino: Oh-a! That reminds me!
(Peppino pulls out a slice of pizza with a pepper on it.)
Uzi: What the hell is that?-
Gustavo: IS THAT SATAN'S CHOICE PIZZA?! HOW DID YOU GET IT?!
Uzi: Oh... so that's "Pizza"!
Peppino: after i-a beat Fake Peppino, i-a went back to "Refrigerator Refrigerador Freezerator" and-a sneaked this out of-a the level!
(Peppino drops the slice of Pizza into his mouth. Afterwards, his skin becomes red, as fire begins to surround him. Uzi, N and the other drones look in awe.)
Peppino: what are you waiting for?! Lets-a go!
(CUE ON THE ROCKS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrtpxLlOp7g)
(as "Satan's Choice Pizza" powered Peppino, Gustavo and Brick charge at J and V, Uzi and N begin planning out their attack.)
Uzi: (To N) Okay, which one do you want?
N: J, please.
Uzi: Too bad. Good luck.
(Uzi runs into battle with The Pizza Trio)
(Peppino begins flying through the air as fire surrounds him, before body slamming J.)
J: Ugh, who let these weirdos in here?!
(J fires a rocket at Peppino, but Peppino parries it and the rocket flies to Gustavo and Brick instead, and blows up infront of them.)
Peppino: GUS!
(As Peppino runs to Gustavo, J fires another rocket at Peppino and Peppino accidentally gets propelled into the roof.)
(Meanwhile, N is fighting V. He tries firing from his gatling gun, but hearts shoot out instead.)
N: Ah! My mind's in a weird place! Don't read into this! (A rocket lands near him and explodes.)
(Back to Uzi, The Pizza Trio, and J, Uzi tries to help Gus and Brick stand up, but gets knocked out by J as well.)
N: UZI! (To V) I'm so, so sorry. Have fun repressing this! (He... licks V's sword. Nasty...)
V: EW! What the hell?! (N kicks her down as J looms over Uzi.)
J: You've got a lot of cuts for a barely sentient toaster. I've had prey fight back before, but your edgy spirit is just... so... painful...?! (She looks down. Her leg has been stabbed.) GAH! FOURTH! QUARTER! PROFITS! MOTHER OF COMPANY LEADERSHIP RETREATS! (She jams her foot on a piece of rubble and falls over. Uzi points her railgun at her face.)
Uzi: One more buzzword and I'll do it!
J: ...Equity partnersh-
(Uzi pulls the trigger. In the end of it all, J's entire top half has been obliterated. Uzi spits on the corpse (Or what's left of it) to show who's the baddest. As the other drone's come out of hiding to cheer for them, she falls over tiredly. N picks her up onto his shoulders.)
(stop music)
Thad: Holy hell, Uzi, that was insane! And you too, uh...
N: Huh? Oh! N! I'm an angsty rebellious disassembly drone, now.
Thad: And you three?
Peppino: Im-a Peppino! That's Gustavo, and that over there is-a Brick!
Gustavo: And you were the one who told us not to introduce ourselves to robots.
Peppino: I'm-a burning, Gustavo. I cant-a think correctly anymore.
Gustavo: Uh.... Here! I think this is edible.
(Gustavo hands Peppino a can of black liquid, and Peppino immediately drinks it. But then Peppino crushes the can with his hand in disgust.)
Peppino: Gustavo....
Gustavo: Yeah, boss?
Peppino: THAT WASN'T-A EDIBLE.
(Gustavo realizes that he just gave Peppino a can of oil. Now Peppino keeps throwing up as his face turns green.)
(They hear someone clearing their throat. It's Khan. Uzi throws her wrench back at his feet.)
Uzi: I brought the murder drones here accidentally. You chose to leave me for dead instead of just freaking believing in me! That's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week! (No response. Uzi, near tears, smacks herself to regain composure.) I'll save you the trouble dad. I banish myself! (Khan tries to speak, but can't find the words.) Let's go, guys. Everyone here can bite me! (N grabs V and Gustavo carries Peppino to Brick as they begin to leave.)
N: Nice to meet you, Mr. Uzi!
Uzi: (Smacks him) Shut it.
(N takes off with Uzi and V, as Brick carries the sick Peppino with Gustavo out the door. Khan has a sip from his mug in disappointment."#1 DAD" Nothing could be further from the truth...)
(Out in the frozen wilderness, Uzi sitting on top of a broken car, thinking to herself. Meanwhile, N is lodged inside the Corpse House.)
N: I'd join you if the sun didn't kill me. Hope you're having important character growth or something, though!
Uzi: Just can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff. I hope they're sitting pretty there on Earth, because we're coming for them...! (She laughs maniacally, her sanity completely vanished, as the zoom out reveals three Drone pods making their way down to Copper 9.)
(Meanwhile Peppino and Gustavo are inside making a makeshift Pizza Oven, as Brick sniffs the floor.)
YOU ARE READING
Pizza with a hint of... Oil? (Pizza Tower x Murder Drones) (REMAKE OUT)
MaceraThe Pizza Tower's very foundations were being destroyed by none other than the agile Italian chef, Peppino Spaghetti. The walls were shaking, the floors were breaking, and the Italian was winning. The Pizza Tower decided to get rid of the Italian ma...
