Always Yours: Words I Never Said

Chapter 1: Alone & Abandoned

Kim's POV 

How could that happen? How did that happen? Why did that happen? We were so happy together. Finally, after all those years being apart, we were finally together again. We finally had each other, but why would anyone do that to us? We had barely been together one month, and in that one month, we had barely any contact with anyone but our friends and family and managers or coaches. We didn't even have a fight any time recently before we got together. But then, who?

I know someone did this on purpose. Because the media could ruin lives of much bigger stars. There's Taylor, Miley, Kristen, Ruby, and so many others, why us? What did we do? Why did we do to deserve this? I was right about the paparazzi acting weird that day. I was right about feeling as if something bad was about to happen. I just wish I could tell him. I just want to see his face one more time. Just tell him the whole story. What actually happened that day. Look into his eyes, one more time, and tell him I love him.

But I can't. He hates me. He has every right to, though,  because that news was enough to make anyone mad as hell if they were in our place. It's all my fault. I never should have been sarcastic. I never should have answered their questions. I never should have let him go.

A tear rolled down my face as the thought of him hating me occurred in my mind. I want him back. Back where I can see him. Hug him. Kiss him. Tease him. Tell him he means everything to me- but I also want him to be happy, and most certainly, that's not with me. He's going to be happy with someone else, because our stars never aligned. We were parallel to each other, always, every breath we got closer, and closer, but there are a lot of other people in this world. Maybe I wasn't the one. Maybe there is someone else. Someone else who will make him happy. Someone else, who won't break his heart. Someone else, who will love him more than I do.

But is that possible?

No one, not even his own mother could love him more than I do.

But I deserve what I'm going through. I deserve the pain. I deserve the loneliness, and I deserve the hate- but I need him. I need him to be with me. This can't happen. He is my everything. I can't just let him go. I have to tell him what happened, but he probably never wants to see me again.

I don't want to feel this. I want it to end. I can't take it! I love him! So much - and yet he hates me as equally. I can't believe he didn't listen to me. Can't believe he left me. Can't believe we're apart again. This was the reason why I had built up those walls. So I could stay away from any other heartbreak. But no. For him, maybe those walls always had a crack between them. He always managed to squish through them. Even made me come out of them. But what now?

I want someone to pinch me, so I can wake up from this. It's a dream. A horrible, twisted dream. This can't be real. I can't be alone again. He can't abandon me like that. 

But then again, if it were me in his place, I would have stomped out too....or would I?
Maybe yes, or maybe no. But at least he could just hear me out? Didn't he promise he wouldn't leave Didn't he promise he wouldn't let me down? Didn't he promise he would stay with me?

Wait, why am I accusing him? It's not his the fault. I'm the one to blame.
I'm the one who broke the promises. Not one, but all of them.