Always Yours: Words I Never Said

Chapter 4: Worries & Woes

News: I've kinda lost the notebook I had this story planned up to chapter 7-14 and I can't find it...

[WARNING: Contains harmful content. If any of you feel uncomfortable reading about people killing themselves DO NOT read after Rebecca's point of view.] 

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Rebecca's POV

I watched as Cole made breakfast for both of us. Pancakes, to our liking since he did this every Monday. He put up a plate in front of me and returned to the pan, flipping another one. I looked down at my food and a huge smile spread across my face. Who doesn't love a pancake with their future name smeared on it? For me, also known as, Rebecca McGarth, the cake on top read 'R.M' in spindly and runny syrup.

I picked up my fork just as Cole came in and sat beside me. I glanced at his plate and smiled again.
"Baby you still have a plateful and you're already gawking at mine." He smirked, pulling me out of my head. I shoved him and we both laughed.

He stared at the 'R.B' on his pancake before digging in as well. After eating, we washed the dishes and put them back. Cole went to change for work while I watched some music videos and celebrity gossip on MTV.

'Where are Kendall Schmidt and Kim Hadley?!'

What? Where are they? Is something wrong? What did I miss? Are they on vacation or something? Kim would have told me. Why didn't she? Did something happen to them?

Frowning, I took my Samsung Galaxy Note 4 out of my hood's pocket and scrolled through the contacts, stopping at K. I had only four of those. Aunt Katherine, Katrina- the hair dresser, Kendall, and then Kim herself. I tapped the little green phone next to her name and waited for her to pick up. No answer.

I tried calling again, and it rung like nine or twelve times before she finally answered her call.
"H-hello?" Her tired voice came through. Croaky and weak. There was something peculiar about this.
"Hey Hadley!" How are ya?" I asked, cheerfully.
"Rebecca, do you want something?" She asked in the same dull tone.
"N-no, I just –" She cut me off and the line went dead. Is it a crime to call my sister?
"Kim!" I shouted into the mouthpiece, knowing she couldn't hear me.

"What's wrong baby?" Cole's voice said behind me. I looked around. He was trying to button up his right sleeve. I got up and did it for him, patting his chest. God bless out useless left hands.

I sighed as he looked down at me. Cole lifted my chin and smiled softly.
"Why do you look so...woeful?" He asked. I shook my head. "I'm not woeful, love. I'm just worried."
"About who?" He asked.
"Kim." I told him.

"What's wrong with her?"
"That's the thing, I don' know." I confessed, hanging my head. Cole looked thoughtfully at me before speaking again. "Did you call her?"

"I did, but she said she didn't want to talk and she cut me off."
"Well then she probably didn't want to talk." He said, amused.

"Cole I'm serious." I said, giving him a 'don't-joke-at-a-time-like-this' look. "Something's wrong." I continued. "She sounded...I don't know, depressed."

"Tell Kendall." He snickered.
"I don't think that's going to help."
"Why?"
"One, do you think that Kendall wouldn't know if she was upset or something? I mean, think about it. He dude's literally crazy about her. The entire eight years away, and he got her to like him back in about two weeks! Though, I'm sure Kim was being her usual shy self again. I know she never stopped loving him." I said. "And two, if Kendall doesn't know already, then why doesn't he? I don't think it's my place to call him anyway. And three, There was something on the news earlier that doesn't make things any better." I told him nervously, twiddling my fingers around his collar.

He huffed, kissing my temple, fixing his collar and picking up his briefcase. "Tell you what," He said. "why don't you pay her a little visit after you get free from the shelter you were volunteering at?"
"I don't know where she lives." I pouted.
"You're Cole Henry McGarth's wife-to-be. I doubt to think you won't find out." He smirked, pecking my lips and leaving.

Well, true. Kim's location must be somewhere on her profile or something.
I bit my lip as I grabbed my phone and hurried upstairs to change.

Please be alright Kim.

Kim's POV

I stared into the distance like I did all day and the two weeks before that. I'm not even sure if it's been two weeks or more. Or less. It's him. I miss him. It hurts. My heart hurts. It feels like I'm bleeding on the inside. I don't know why. I feel like I don't even have a reason anymore – hey that's it!

I sprang up from my back.

Kendall was the reason, and now he's gone, which means I should be gone too.

And thinking any further than the fact that I should be gone, I got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, opened the dresser and took out the sharpest knife I had. I held it steadily above my left wrist, its edge facing the visible throbbing veins. Silent, meaningless tears leaking from my eyes- I shut my peepers and felt the pleasant coldness of the knife against my skin- until it dug further: cutting through my skin and tore open my flesh.

The pain I felt now, was just physical and the emotional aches were gone.

I skid down to the floor as my bare feet slipped on the blood splattered marble tiles. I watched, as bright, thick blood trickled down my arm and soaked my clothes.

My head was getting heavy: my vision was going in and out of focus. I tried to shake my head to clear it, but it only doubled up the lightheaded feeling. I tried to move, but I fell painfully back down and my head hit the floor. There was a weird knocking somewhere. Must have been inside my head. My brain was throbbing, and the knocking just kept getting louder and louder.

Before I could figure out what the knocking was about, my body went limp and out of my control. The surroundings began to get hazy and as my eyes rolled into the back of my head, darkness took over.

I just wish I could have told whoever was at the door that no one was going to open it.