Perfect obsession || book 2

XXVII - butterflies and heartbeats

Butterflies And Heartbeats

Eira's pov

"I am ordering pizza are you okay with it"

"Yeah" I looked up from the TV screen and glanced at Jasper before continuing to watch my movie.

All day we didn't get the chance to talk and honestly I was in no mood to listen to his excuses and all. He made his decision and I don't know how to react to it.

I know that he is hurt and in his condition he needs a lot of support and love and care but I am so drained watching over him and making sure he is fine.

I simply can't pamper him like a child.

He is a grown up man and needs to own up to his decisions and face life strongly. It has been too long since Mini djed but he still unable to process it all and move on.

I am ready to support him for however long he takes to get emotionally strong again but he needs to get his mind out of his ass. And stay away from alcohol.

The very thing he is doing now. My attention turned from TV screen to the bottle of whatever drink he had in front of him. He popped open the lid and made himself a shot.

He didn't even bother with water or ice. "Jasper" I called out and made him stop his hand where it was. Just before he can take a sip. "I want you to put this glass down if you want to talk to me"

He stared at me as if I was joking but then he slammed the glass on the counter and walked away to the living room. He slumped on to the sofa and stared at me, asking me to speak.

"Eira speak up" he groaned pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"I am not going to speak. You are. Tell me what is wrong with you. One moment when I thought you will react burst with anger you stayed calm and then I thought you are okay you reacted that way. I hope you have better explanation for this behaviour of yours"

"Uh" he groaned and leaned back into the sofa. "I don't know what to say. I don't know how to put my feeling into words" my heart squeezed for him. All the pain he has been going through, he doesn't know how to express it all.

"Jasper," I settled beside him, "I know it is difficult but you need to do something. Find some way to express your emotions. What does your therapist says about it?"

"He says I'll need time but he too is always like try to show your emotions as much as you can" but unfortunately the only way he knows to express himself is only after he is drunk. I held his hand and squeezed it slowly.

"How about we play a game. I'll take a name of anything that comes to my mind and we'll write what we feel about it on the paper" he nodded but he didn't seem happy about it. I know no scientific reason behind this game but this was the first thing that came to my mind while listening to him.

I grabbed papers and pen for each of us. Jasper was still sitting rather upset on the sofa. I gave him a pen and paper while kept one for myself.

"Okay. So mountains" he took a moment to write what he thought and then showed it to me. Happiness.

"Show me yours" I showed him my paper. Gloomy. I liked beaches much much much more than mountains.

"You are such a party boomer. Mountains are such a vibe."

"They may be but not for me. Okay now tell me about rain" we both wrote our answers and showed it to one another. Agony. He wrote.

"Why did you write agony Jasper?"