Perfect obsession || book 2

I - broken beginnings

Broken beginnings

Jasper's pov

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

The words repeated in my mind like a broken record, over and over again the words repeated in my mind.

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

The words didn't stop repeating in my mind, no matter how much I wanted, how much I tried. I didn't want to go back to that night. I don't want to remember it. I don't want those memories to come back but those come back. Like the sinister thoughts you have no control over.

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

I screamed throwing the glass of water over the kitchen hardwood floor. Glass broke into small pieces scattering all over the small area of my kitchen. I looked at the glass wishing same thing can happen to me not my heart of my glass.

I wish to break and scatter and end the misery of my broken heart. My fiancée, the love of my life had died and doctors threw a small I am sorry at me. All it took was fifteen minutes to change my life for worse.

Every second of every day I wish that would have died in the same car crash which took the life of my love. Many times I wanted to go back and recreate that scene, me along with her. Many times I wondered how it would feel to take your life. How easy it must have been to just end it.

A cut on your wrist and work is done or maybe a little too much pills could do the work. a much easier now. Not the one where your car crash into a heavy trailer and every limb in your body breaks. You lay in your car gasping for oxygen by the air bags which were to protect you, stop your oxygen supply.

This is the type of death is painful and brutal and no one should experience it. I have lost count of the times where I wished even if she was supposed to leave us, the process shouldn't have been so painful.

"I am sorry, she is no more. . . "

The words once again came crashing into my mind and the record started once again. I slapped my hands over my ears and tried to stop the gut wrenching voice of that doctor.

"She had lost a lot of blood, her left leg was fractured at three places, the right one had a fracture at hipbone, her arm was amputated" doctor explained the injuries she had acquired from the accident. He was so blunt in explaining how her life was sucked out of her body; in the most painful way possible.

"Stop it" I mumbled as if these voices will stop invading me. "Please stop it" I begged. The words that informed me about her death were unstoppable. Like they love torturing me. It was good to hurt me.

"Just stop it" I screamed standing up. A shard of glass punctured into my heel and cutting through my skin drew blood. Yes, the only fucking thing I wanted. My mind and body fixed on pain in my heel that for a moment I forgot how broken my heart was.

I hissed as the piece came out of my skin with pressure and pull. The bloody glass dropped on floor and I limped towards my living room where my blanket and sheets laid on sofa as I had abandoned them. Wrappers, empty bags, food boxes, beer cans, used tissues laid as I had left them.

In my spiraling life this was the only consistent. I loved everything was scattered as I had left it to be. Nothing changes, nothing moved, nothing decided to just walk out of my life. It was soothing and so was the cabinet which had my beers. I pulled out a new can and tugged it open.