Loving Ashlynn (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 34 - Talk Down (Samson Conrad POV) Pt.2

Chapter 34 - Talk Down (Samson Conrad POV) Pt. 2

My stomach is in knots when my parents go down the stairs, but I slowly turn to face Fatima, unsure what I will see in her eyes. "You want to sleep here tonight?" she asks in a small voice and just gazing at her, I'm in a state of shock that she isn't trying to push me away after all the cruel things Taylor said to her.

I nod when her expression turns unsure, not needing to make her think there is anywhere I would rather be at this point. "I'm sorry about - all of what she said isn't true-"

"I know - it's because of your symmetrical face, she finds you attractive," I have to snort at her direct honesty, but nonetheless I close the door behind me, locking it as she normally would, and I go to the side of the bed I was sitting on before. My mind full of incomplete thoughts just swarmed together, all rushing and pushing to get to the front, to take up my full attention.

Once again in an awkward - unsure - position, it's Fatima that speaks first, "What did you mean when you said that it was all your fault... I mean... with Silas... I thought you told me you stayed home?" I close my eyes and feel her place one hand on my thigh, and I'm quick to unfold my arms across my chest and take that hand in mine.

"I feel responsible," I start off despite the churning in my belly. "He was the outgoing one, I'm was the rational one. If I'd gone, I could have stopped them from sneaking around. I'm not sure why they really didn't just stick to helicopter flying, I'm sure Brian probably tried to talk Silas out of-" I pause unable to say it, "but it was drizzling that they thought it would be a good idea, to go up in Silas plane." I shudder when the words are finally out.

"Your brother had a plane?"

I shake my head. "No it was a four-seat small aircraft, we'd been training to use it since we were like ten - illegally of course - but we always would go up with our dad or grandfather, but Silas and Brian were found in ours near - do you remember where we went hiking?" Faith gaped at me but gave me a small nod.

"Around there, both were dead-"

"So your brother took the plane out during inclement weather?" I nod.

"I - don't get mad ok?" my brows scrunch together, "Why would I get mad?"

She shrugs her shoulder, "Because sometimes people hate the truth, but I guess... you said yourself Silas took the plane out when he shouldn't have. I don't know all the details but... I'm sure that it's not allowed the way he did it... since you said sneaking around. He was aware that it was bad, and he shouldn't do it, and Brian... I guess it's sad that they both died, but you can't think it's your fault... I mean Silas knew right from wrong and was competent... right?" her little nose it wrinkled up, and her brows are pushed together in confusion.

"Yes but he always had these-"

"And this Brian - he was intelligent, he knew right from wrong? I mean if they didn't know it was a bad thing why did he and Silas sneak around? They knew it was dangerous and erroneous... I mean you can't - Silas didn't call you did he?" I shake my head slowly from side to side, the tea I drank wanting - ready - to make another appearance. "So he knew that you would convince him not to do the wrong thing, and avoided calling you, went out of his way to not be stopped," she isn't asking me.

"I could've stopped him," I whimper out, but she just shakes her head, "He didn't want you to prevent him, for as well as you knew him, he chooses not to invite you to steal the plane," I can't reply. My mind goes blank of all the other chaos, and the words are playing on loop.

"I don't know how you feel exactly, but I felt guilty for nearly a month when Dmitri didn't come back... it was like in the pit of my stomach I knew that it was my fault. Because Dmitri had left for food, I mean there was enough, but not enough for two people. He was always taking care of me, I thought the world.... I figured it was a dangerous place that he had to fight and steal for the food he was bringing me, and when he didn't come back after a month, I was - I knew - was convinced that he was injured because of me..."