and we forgave

Chapter 17

NESSIE

"How many boxes do you have left?", Mark asks me as he sees Caden coming with yet another cardboard box. My friends volunteered to help me move in today, much to Mark's "joy". However, he couldn't say no. The ones I brought with me are my besties and Caden, Jacob and Noah. Who all lead one of Wrencore's sports teams and are athletic as shit. All wattpad-worthy, bodies that make one drooling. When Mark was given the choice between him having to carry my boxes or let three guys who lift weighs in their free time to do it, he obviously chose the last one.

"Just two", I answer. I managed to put all my belongings in seven boxes. Everything else I either left to the girls or sold at the little flea market Nini and April organized in front of our dorm building. We managed to earn two hundred dollars, all saved for when the baby comes.

He nods and goes inside the house again. Nini and Soph are there, unboxing the packages they get from the guys. Dia and April are in the room Mark gave me, trying to make it look less than a storage room and more like a bedroom. My boyfriend offered we should share his bedroom, but that would mean we would be sleeping in one bed. And he'd have the temptation to make out with me every night. I stand to what I said. I want us to take it slow. Now even slower. I am not sure I'll ever let him touch me again that way. Not when carrying someone else's child. Luckily, Mark understood. The part with taking it slow, I mean. He has no clue I'm pregnant. And all my friends have acted like there is nothing going on so far. I am thankful for that. Along with everything else they have done to help me.

My boyfriend offered me his old storage room to call my own. My heart ached a bit at that. He's trying his best, I notice. Trying his best to keep this relationship going. I am the one who keeps messing up. The one who will mess up in the end. No doubt.

"Nessie", April calls out from the room. I walk inside, seeing how it really started to look better. The space is empty from Mark's belongings now, only the white walls visible and the floor.

"Wow", I let out as I take it all in. "This already looks so much better. Thanks." April and Dia smile at my compliment.

"Which color do you want the walls to have?", Dia asks me.

I immediately know the answer.

"Blue. Pastel blue", I reply. It's then Mark comes rushing inside.

"No, no, no", he says. "The walls have to stay white. It will ruin the coating otherwise."

April shoots him a look that says that if he will say any other word to ruin her room-makeover vibe and Pinterest frenzy, she will kill him with that paintbrush. Maybe her own damn hands. "The what?", she asks, voice sending warnings.

"The coating. The walls in the whole apartment are white. You can't ruin that."

She gives him a fake smile then turns away to stare at the wall. I can see her mumble: "Watch me", before she takes the paintbrush from her hands and throws it on the ground in front of him like a mic. I can swear I saw a twitch on Dia's lips.

"Lovies", Nini says, strolling in the room. We all turn to her. She is in her renovation outfit. We all are. Nini is wearing a jeans overall, a short red crop top that looks like an undershirt underneath. Her red hair is in a bun, strands already falling from it from the effort. Her feet have red converse on, matching the look. "Caden, Sophy-dovey, Jacob, Noah and I are heading to Ikea now. Do you need anything else?"

"Guys, I told you I don't need anything new", I protest. She looks past it.

"See it as our present to you. For...", she almost spills it out. But stops herself in time. "For the new home. If you left us for this place, at least let us know it is perfect."

I know she didn't mean it as an insult. But an actual wish to have everything perfect for me here. "I'll pay you back", I call at her as she's already heading towards the exit.

"Tell that to Soph", she shouts back at me. "She's as eager to give you the furniture as a present. Who knows, maybe you'll have a Chanel coded room in the end..."

I chuckle at that. "Love you", it's the only thing I can say.

I can hear the two of them chuckle from the hallway. "Love you too", they answer as one.

I stare at nothing for a few seconds, then continue helping Dia, April and Mark move my belongings in my new room.

~

Dear Adam,

I moved in with Mark today.

I didn't know what else to do. They sent me away from the dorm. We tried to find any solution, but it all seemed to be like a shot in the dark.

This was the only way.

I guess a part of me is glad. I get to live with the man I love. But a part of me is afraid. I don't want him touching me. I don't want him touching our baby.

He kissed me today. I remember how I used to love it a few days ago. I still do. But now it all feels wrong. When I think of you, I feel like I am cheating on my boyfriend. When I think of him, I feel like I am cheating on the father of my child.

I wonder when the guilt will fade away. Maybe I'll always live feeling like the bad guy of both your stories.

Maybe I am.

But I know I'll do anything I'll have to in order to offer my baby a living.

Even hide the truth from you and Mark.

Best wishes,

Nessie