Love and Football (BWWM Interracial Love Story)

Chapter 12 Hoping and Dreaming

Kendra locked the door. Her thoughts still on Jason not realizing her mom walked into the living room with her stepdad following behind her.

"Hey, are you ok?" Her mother asked.
"Yea I'm ok" Kendra sighed.
"Whats wrong with this guy who took you out, what happened?" Her stepdad asked with concern and anger written on his face.
"He got upset that I wouldn't kiss him so he told me to get out his car".
Her stepdad scoffed. "What a jackass. Did he touch you?"
"No" she said quickly shaking her head.
Her mother let out a breath.
"Thank God. I'm so sorry it turned out like this. " she said.
"Who brought you home?" Her stepdad asked.
"A friend of mine from school."
"They came out there to get you?" Her mom asked.
"No, they were already there and we just ran into eachother"
"Im glad she was there. I was on my way, you know that right?" Her mom said raising an eyebrow.
"Yes I know. I know you don't like to drive at night so when they offered the ride I said yes."
" I dont care about driving at night when it comes to you" her mom reassured her.
"I know." She half-smiled.
" Im tired, Im gonna go to bed". Kendra said.
"Ok"
"Ok have a good night, Love you" her stepdad said hugging her.

Kendra went to her room and put her hair in a high ponytail and put on a bonnet. She washed the light makeup off her face, brushed her teeth, and took a shower.
While showering her mind replayed the events of the night, what Eric did, but also her time with Jason, which calmed her and made her feel safe. It was strange because she was anything but calm when she was in the car with Jason. And Alicia Keys didn't help. But looking back she did feel a sense of safety. She felt that he was genuine, easy to talk to, but after the fiasco with Eric, she was not letting her guard down. Her mind was playing tug of war, one side pulling for her to run away from guys and push away all thoughts of Jason, while the other side was pulling for her to relax and be open to what could happen if she let this crush she had consume her. Both choices were scary but she had to choose at some point if she wanted this tension to dissipate.
Kendra finally got out the shower, put on her pajamas and laid in bed. There was a knock at her door.
"Come in" she said as the door opened.
"Hey" her mom sighed.
"Hey" she said.
"You wanna talk about what happened"
"Not really"
"There's more to the story isn't it?"
Kendra sighed. She sat up in bed and her Mom sat next to her.
"After I blocked his kiss, he asked me if I was a virgin because I was acting like I couldn't be touched. I said yea and he asked how long that was gonna last and I said until Im married."
Kendra paused, and let out a breath.
She spoke, her voice shaking.
"Then he laughed in my face and said no man will ever wait that long for me." Her mother watched as a tear rolled down her daughter's cheek.
Kendra's mother embraced her as she silently cried into her shoulder.
" That is not true Kendra." She said rubbing her back. "There are men out there that will wait. It may take some time to find him but there is a man out there that will wait for you. Someone who knows you are worth so much more than just having sex with. You're still young and you have your whole life ahead of you and one day you will find that man or he will find you." Her mother said hugging her tighter.
"Thank you Mom, I hope thats true. It just seems impossible."
"Nothing is impossible if you just believe. And dont you ever feel pressured to sleep with anybody to make them stay. If they can't love you for who you are, then they don't deserve you."
Kendra nodded and sniffled as her tears subsided.
"I love you." Her mom said.
"I love you too"
"Mr. Paul wants to take you to lunch tomorrow. You know he doesnt do too well with the emotional part." Her mom chuckled speaking of her husband.
Kendra smiled.
"Ok thats fine".

Kendra appreciated that her stepdad was trying to comfort her in his own way. He was not the emotional type. He gave hugs and kisses on the cheek, and said "I love you" but he didn't dwell too much on emotions. He was a tough love type of parent. Kendra's mom was the more sensitive of the two.

Kendra's father was not around throughout her childhood. He struggled with addiction and was back and forth to jail before she was born and throughout her childhood. Her mother was not aware of his addiction until later in their relationship. At that point she was head over heels in love and thought that giving him a child would wake him up..change him. But it did not despite him claiming that if only he had a child his life would be complete. He left Miriam a single mother a second time around after Miriam had divorced Kendra's older siblings' father nine years prior.

If Kendra was honest, her relationship with her dad or lack thereof, left her questioning her worth, left her on high alert about what man would leave her next. So when Eric did what he did, it was shocking but she told herself 'I told you so, they will always leave'.

After her mother comforted her and left the room, Kendra laid down and closed her eyes, still thinking, but trying hard to replace the negative thoughts with the positive things her Mom told her. She thought of Jason and wondered what he was doing. But she stopped her thoughts there. She did not want to keep thinking about him and imagining what could develop between them, besides he may not even like her like that, she told herself. She finally fell asleep.

About 15 minutes after dropping Kendra home, Jason pulled up to his house. He went inside and saw that his stepdad and mom were up watching TV in the living room.
"Where have you been" his mom asked curiously. She didnt seem upset. His curfew was midnight. It was about 11:30 pm.
"At the arcade and then I dropped a friend home". He said.
'There goes that word again' he thought. He did not like referring to Kendra as a friend. It would do....for now.
"Oh ok, you hungry?" She asked.
" Yea. What did you make?"
"Lasagna".
He nodded. "Ok, I'll eat in a little bit. Im gonna go take a shower".

Jason stepped into the hot shower, enjoying the feeling of the water hitting his back. As he showered, his thoughts drifted to Kendra. He thought about the conversation they had, and how it flowed smoothly besides the akward silence that fell between them coupled with the thick tension. It was not really sexual tension. It was more so the tension you feel when something needs to be said but nobody says a word. Like an elephant in the room kind of tension. Alicia Keys definitely did the talking tonight. Overall, Jason felt that Kendra was easy to talk to. She liked the same music as he did, some of the same movies, and plus she laughed at the corny joke he told. He smiled to himself. She seemed sweet and down-to-earth. He still couldn't help but wonder why she was sitting on the bench by herself tonight? Was she hanging out with Elisha and Larissa? Surely they would have dropped her home. Or...was she on a date? With that guy he saw her in the halls with? Who was this guy? He looked pretty confident but also full of himself. Or was Jason just trying to find something negative about him?
Jason wanted to ask her what happened but didn't want to pry or mess up a potentially good conversation. When she said she went to the movie with a friend, he decided to leave it at that.
He wished he could take her out to a movie. He could. He knew the only person that was stopping him was himself. But was she into white boys? And even if she was, that didn't mean she would be into him.
Jason titled his head back and let out a deep breath as the water ran through his hair.
He was mentally exhausted from all the thoughts running in his head. His stomach growled begging for some fuel after being on a mental rollercoaster for the past hour.
He got out the shower, dried off, got dressed and went downstairs to eat lasagna, one of his mom's favorite dishes. He sat at the table eating with images from the night passing through his thoughts.

"Whats on your mind" his Mom asked as she walked into the dining room.

Jason looked up, caught off guard by her entrance.

"..Oh um..nothing. Im just tired".
"And hungry." She said chuckling.
He smiled. "Yea that too". He finished the last of the lasagna throwing away the paper plate.
"Thanks Mom, good night" he said headed toward his room.
"Good night" his mom said standing there, trying to analyze his behavior.
"Hmm" she said to herself.
She knew her son. He normally sat at the table during dinner time, talking and laughing with her, but for the past week, he appeared more mentally preoccupied. Lost in his thoughts. She did not know what was going on or if there was nothing at all going on. She decided to keep a close eye on him.

Jason laid in bed watching Street Outlaws, one of his favorite shows.
His thoughts drifted off to his encounter with Kendra. Images of her smile, her dimples, and her face flooded his thoughts.

Jason P.O.V
You need to pull it together man. She's just a girl. A beautiful girl. That's besides the point. You cant keep daydreaming man. You have too much on your plate. School, football, work, focus on those things. Focus on your future. You dont even know if she likes you. Plus its senior year, you may not ever see her again after school is over. But I want to see her again. I want to make her mine. They say you will never know unless you try. I cant close this chapter of my life without saying I at least tried.
End of P.O.V

Jason drifted off to sleep.