My life on crack at 2 am

15

something from two days ago i forgot to put:

so we got plants in science (it's still boring)

our plant had like these triAnGulAr leaves

like this but not

except there's this one tendril✨ with these white flowers 💅.

i can't keep track of which kids are which except Kid 3 so let's go with "child"

Me: let's name this plant Big Man

Girl 3: It's small

Me: then tiny man

Child 1: let's name it Kevin

me: no, tiny man

and then everyone silently agreed that it was kevin

Child 1: *holds up the flowering tendril* This is Kevin's girlfriend, Daisy

Girl 3: bro why they connECTed

istg girl 3 never pays attention gal didn't know where africa was

ok  back to today

History teacher: The Confederate president was Jefferson Davis, but we'll just write "Jeff" because that's what everyone calls him.

History teacher: Just kidding.

History teacher: What happened to Jefferson Davis after the war?

Child 2: Was he enslaved?

History teacher: What? NO! Slavery was banned, rEmEMbER?

History teacher: So, I was reading up on Jefferson Davis's imprisonment-

Random child (not sure who): YOU WERE IMPRISONED?!

History teacher: How do you become a member of Congress?

Child 2: You try out?

History teacher: No!

Then we watched a dumb cartoon about the American Civil War

Rando Confederate general writing to his rando Union general former friend: Can we talk?

Rando Union general: No.

Video: *cuts to random clip of Confederate soldiers coming out with their hands up*

(apparently all the generals knew each other)

idk history class is goofy

Science is so boring we learned about living💅 and nonliving💅 things again for like the seventh time in our lives

AND WE ALWAYS GO OVER CLASSROOM EXPECTATIONS

EVERY DAY

AND IF YOU WANT A SINGLE💅 DROP OF WATER, IT HAS TO BE AN ✨EMERGENCY✨ AND YOU HAVE TO GO INTO THE HALL

idk what's up with history class though

it's like we learn where all the ✨continents✨ and ✨oceans✨ are every year

i learned the positions of the continents wayyy back in pre k so idk what's so new abt it

Watching Gravity Falls helped a lot with me finding the Pacific and Atlantic oceans though bc of Pacifica Northwest

so i know that the pacific is over by oregon

harry potter out of context is so suspicious bordering on 🍋🍋🍋

like the Winky and Crouch part omg

"please master not cLoTHeS"

lmao ayo wtf?

my school kinda weird though ngl

"be inclusive"

out of classroom areas: blah blah blah BATHROOM cafeteria etc

i mean HOW AND WHY WOULD YOU BE INCLUSIVE IN A BATHROOM

"hey buddy wanna share my stall?"

"no way"

then they showed us a minion vid compilation to teach us school rules

you guys know the one where the minion has an atomic bomb that explodes?

"no phones at school"

EXCUSE WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ATOMIC BOMBS

and then the one where the tall minion beats up the short minion because of the cow moo can

"personal space"

SHOULDN'T IT BE "DON'T BEAT UP YOUR FELLOW CLASSMATES?"

my school's lunch schedule is fucking goofy ah though

"A" lunch, "B" lunch, and "C" lunch

so A lunch is first then B then C

which means you're just starving when you have C lunch

and the goddamn vending machine doesn't even work

all i wanted was a chocolate chip rice krispies treat