Life is but a Fiction...

49 - Hiding your feelings

September came and everything went back to normal. Well, for a few weeks, at least. The week after my birthday, I was, again, in Nick's chair, getting a thigh tattoo as he was teaching me a few tricks here and there.

"Gosh, Nick, stop the teaching, I can't focus, that part hurts so bad." I wailed. 

"Stop being a wuss. You're doing just fine." Nick said, still tattooing me. 

"Hey, talking about being a wuss…did you ask Jess out?" 

"No. I did not." Nick laughed.

"Why?" 

"She's obsessed with a band member who I cannot compete with."

"You can, Nick. Don't sell yourself short." 

"Well, that's not the only reason… I talked to my daughter's mother. We'll try couple's therapy to see if we can save what we had." 

"Oh… As long as you're happy, Nick." 

"Yeah… we'll see. I have not forgiven her, but I see she's trying. After a couple of years, we started taking each other for granted and I think that's what broke us." 

"Yeah, that sucks… but whatever happens, at least you'll talk things through and it can only make you better parents for it. You have to protect your daughter in all of this."

"Right, the last thing I want is for my daughter to think less of me or her mom. Or even worse, think it's her fault. God, that would kill me." 

"You're a good dad, Nick." 

"Thanks. Enough about me. You're the client." 

"I'm the client, but I'm also your friend. I care." 

"Well, yeah, but you're in the chair suffering. So spill… what's up, since your birthday?" 

That was a good question. I hadn't really talked to anyone about my feelings for Jim. And the thing is, nothing really happened since then. I managed to stay away from my feelings for that period of time, and bury them in a pile of work and gym when I was not working. However, I have to admit that staying away from my best friend was a hard thing to do. Not texting him every time little things happened was getting harder. Jimmy reached out a couple of times, but I kept things short, even though I wanted to talk all night with him. Last time we spoke was yesterday, he invited me to go see his parents next week. I would pick him up at the LAX airport and drive him to Huntington Beach and drive him back to the airport the next day for his next show. That would leave us 24h together and just thinking about it was making me nervous. So I did what I do best, stay in denial. 

"Alissa…?" Nick snapped me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry what?" 

"I asked about you and you froze." 

"Yeah, sorry. Really nothing has happened since that night." 

"Your face tells me otherwise." 

"Well, you have to believe me. Things have been all work and boring stuff." 

"I don't buy it. Does it have anything to do with someone related to the word Fiction you're making me tattoo on you right now?

How did he guess? Yes, I asked Nick to add the word Fiction on my completed sleeve, but it was in the inner arm part, kinda small, hidden in the colors. You had to lift up my arm to be able to see it through all the things going on in that piece of art. I wanted it to be discreet, but I wanted it to be there.