Life is but a Fiction...

37 - The drugstore

Jess’ POV 

I woke up next to Brian who was sleeping on the inflated mattress next to my bed. Nick slept on the couch to make our guest comfortable. I chuckled at the sound of a light snoring coming out of his nose.

Alissa noticed something was wrong when she came back with Jimmy. She, on the other hand, seemed happy, radiant even. The last time I saw her like this was before her break up with Zacky, if we can even call it a break up.

The day before…

Alissa and Jimmy were gone for the day and I was left with Brian. On another day, I would be ecstatic to spend the day with him, but today, I had a feeling I just couldn't shake. My period was late and usually, I am regular. This morning, I woke up feeling nauseous and from this moment, my thoughts just spiraled. 

The last time I had sex with someone was with Johnny. What a fucking mess. What if I was pregnant? Brian was in front of me, we were jamming on my old guitar and having fun, but the thoughts kept coming back to me. I knew I needed to take a pregnancy test, but I didn't want him to know. 

However, I thought about the possibility that the guys would want to drink tonight. The thing is, now that I was thinking about it, it was not a possibility, it was a certainty. Fuck. I couldn't put it back anymore. 

"I'm so sorry , I almost forgot, I have to go to the drugstore to get something, would you mind ?" I asked, hoping he would not ask questions.

"No, no problem, let's go, we can go somewhere else after if you want. We have the day to ourselves." He smiled at me. I smiled back slightly. 

We drove to the nearest drugstore we could find. I turned off the engine. 

"You can wait for me here, I won't be long." 

Syn was already out of the car. 

"I don't mind coming in with you." He said, oblivious of my nervousness. 

"Okay, well, I should have done this earlier, but can I tell you something you will keep to yourself?" I asked and sighed. 

"Yeah, anything, what is it?" He looked worried.

"I need to buy myself a pregnancy test." I uttered.

"Oh…" Brian was shocked now. 

"I'm sorry I had to tell you this, but you would have known anyway in five minutes. I know you and Jimmy would want to drink tonight, so I wouldn't take that risk…" 

"I'm sorry, you told me to wait here, but I insisted…" He apologized. 

" No, no, no, you did absolutely nothing wrong here, I should have come earlier, when I started feeling nauseous this morning. I'm the one who should be sorry I have to burden you with my secret." 

"Jess, you have nothing to feel sorry about. I'm here if you ever need it. Does anyone else know?" 

I shook my head. 

"Wait… if it were to be positive, would this mean Johnny-" 

"Yes." I cut him off, nodding my head. 

"Damn." 

"That's why I need you to keep quiet until I know what is going on." I commanded him with a serious tone. 

"Yeah, of course. Let's go buy it." 

"Are you still coming in? Aren't you afraid of what people might think?" 

"Fuck them. I'm not leaving you alone." He pulled me into a hug. "I'm your friend now. And I don't let friends go through things like this alone." 

"Thank you, friend." I smiled slightly.

I was relieved I would have someone by my side, but I was still scared to death about what the test would say. Brian helped me choose a test that would give me early results, asking me questions about shit no other man would understand about my cycle and symptoms. He started comparing the large variety of tests, and god was he cute doing that. This was overwhelming, but Brian was so caring and thoughtful, he was making everything better. 

The cashier gave us a look, before asking for a picture with Synyster Gates. I was so embarrassed for him, I paid and left immediately. He followed me.

"I'm so sorry about this." I sighed. 

"I am not. If anything, it will be funny to see how fast gossip can spread." He chuckled. 

"So you're not mad?" 

"No. Stop worrying about this." He put both his hands on the side of my arms and smiled at me.  "Do you want to go eat somewhere? Then we can go back to your place so you can take the test."

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled at him. "Thank you for this."

"Of course. Let's go." He said. 

I met a different version of Brian today. I met "party Syn" the other day at their house. We had the best time, but today, I was with a funny, down to earth (turns out the pride and ego are mostly a front), caring, perfectionist and family-oriented guy and nothing can match up to this version of him. The conversations we had were refreshing. I learned about his family, what he liked to do outside of music, turns out he was a surfer boy. We agreed on going surfing tomorrow afternoon, even though I have never surfed a wave in my life. I once was very into sports, so I was eager to try it.  Our next activity was also planned, a hike in a national park. The only thing in our way was the tour beginning in a couple of days. Brian invited me to their L.A. show next month. We chatted about how weird it would be for our friends to see each other after their break up, Zacky seemed to take this very badly from what Syn was telling me.

I looked through the window and my attention was drawn to families walking on the sidewalk. I was a nervous wreck, everything made me think about the possibility of me having a child. 

"What is wrong, Jess?" Brian noticed.

"What if I am pregnant and Johnny doesn't want anything to do with the baby?" 

"Jess, stop overthinking. He wouldn't do that. Because if he would, I would fucking kick his ass." 

"Let's go home. I wanna get this over with." 

That’s the only way I would stop overthinking. So we drove home.

…

I was in my bathroom as I was placing the stick on the counter. I started the timer, laid my forearms on the counter and my head in my hands. It felt like I was suffocating in this tiny room. I sighed and prayed to god that this would be a negative. 

I heard a knock, it was Brian, asking me if everything was okay.

"I'm fine, Syn. I'll be out in two minutes." 

He seemed as worried as I was. Surely, this would impact his friend too. The timer rang, I took a deep breath and looked at the test. I sighed and threw it away. I came out of the bathroom. 

"So?" Syn asked impatiently.