Secret desire

Confronted

"What's the smile for Jimin?"
"Huh,oh nothing,just well it's a nice day.."
"Jimin always smiles he's a mini me ," Hobi said.
He earned a smile from the small male then looked at his watch,when would he be back.
"Hey guys,Jungkook text he's going to be late home going to a club or something..."
Jimins smile faltered,he had been looking forward to seeing the other as he'd been away four days visiting Busan.
"Do you reckon he got some action..," Tae smirked
"Tae! He's not like that!" Jimin mumbled
"Ah my poor sweet soulmate...,of course he is just because your saving yourself for god knows what doesn't mean the rest of us are..."
Jimin looked at his friends who either nodded or shrugged their shoulders..
"What?all of you? How I mean when...."
"Jimin....we are not monks, holidays...weekends home..."
"But aren't you worried fans will find out?"
"They are fans Jimin...not police...."
"Oh,well I'm sure Jungkook hasn't I mean he's young and all..."
Suga snorted,"he's 25 with hormones to match...he's done it."
Jimin gave a fake laugh as if he too was amused when in reality he felt....disappointed .
Of course he knew the logistics of sex but,well girls only appealed to his sense of beauty not his hormones,he was pretty damn sure he was gay, even though he had a flirty nature he used it as a cover for nervousness.
The others drifted off and Jimin sat flicking through tv channels his mind wandering .
Was he naive? He knew he had the biggest crush on the maknae he had from the beginning,always running to do things for him,buying him food paying for him to go out when he was bored,now they all had money and in fact had decided to get their own places which would be another step into adulthood,RM and Jin already had theirs but stated ver sometimes,,Suga was moving into his tomorrow and Hobi next week when the furnishings were done,only Tae,Jimin and Jungkook were left.
Jimin was convinced Jungkook would share with him he was going to mention it,after all they were close right?
He sighed...,once they lived together things would progress naturally Jimin was sure.
Three hours later the others were all asleep only Jimin sat checking his phone when the door opened.
Jimin jumped up a smile on his face rushing to greet Jungkook.
The maknae walked in swaying slightly.
"Kookie...how are you where's your luggage?"
"Jimin.....your still up?my stuff will come tomorrow..."
Jungkook walked unsteadily to the kitchen.
"Kookie are you drunk?"
Jungkook laughed...
" you are such a prude Jimin....when are you going to get a life..?"
"W-what?"
"You know...go out...get laid...be normal...."
"I-I am normal...."
"You hide within the group being Mr nice guy,running around doing everything for us...yes I know we let you but hell  it's so clingy sometimes,I feel like I'm the grown up and your the kid......"
Jimin felt shocked..." c-clingy? But I like helping you guys..."
Jungkook sighed," forget it I'm just a little drunk I shouldn't have said anything,I promised the others..."
"What?"
"Shit forget I said that ....."
"No,you damn we'll tell me..." Jimin said angrily and Jungkook stared Jimin never got angry with him.
"Well.....you kinda make us feel as if we have to hide things from you in case you get...well affronted"
"Like?"
"Well you don't go out I know you have issues with your weight but well it's ok....and we see you flirting but no follow through it's like your keeping yourself for something special so we can't have the guy chats around you....."
Jimin bit his lip,yes he was conscious that he was not as slim as the others but he thought they were ok with it and guy chats?
Making his way to the hall he looked back,
"I'm sorry I never realised I made you all feel this way,I apologise,goodnight...."'
He went to his room closing the door quietly. Jungkook stared after him sighing in frustration ,Damn he shouldn't have said anything but he felt like a naughty kid when he found Jimin waiting for him,he needed to seriously start looking for a place...maybe Tae would share he liked to party........
He drank some water then walked to his room stopping as heard sounds from Jimins room.
"Jimin you ok?"
"Goodnight jungkook..."
He shrugged then went to his room ,Jungkook?Jimin always called him Kookie,,,maybe he was a bit mad at him...yawning he washed up and went to bed immediately falling asleep.
Jimin sat on the bed staring at himself in the mirror, his face was chubby his eyes disappeared when he smiled,he stood up,yer maybe a few pounds could go,he couldn't do anything about his face...unless he had surgery but maybe if he cut down on food ,exercised more it would slim his features,he looked at the clock it was now four thirty,although he hadn't slept he decided to go to a local gym that was especially good for celebrities who didn't want to mix with the general public so they opened early and designated special trainers.
Grabbing a gym bag he put spare clothes in and wash stuff they were due to practice as a group at nine he could go there after the gym,as he went to leave his room he stopped picking up a bed throw and covering the mirror,he felt disgust st his own image and realised that's how the others saw him....no wonder they didn't want him in their cool guys gang...how stupid was he,everything was wrong with him and nobody had told him the truth just let him go on being clingy and irritating and what was it...? Oh Yeh a prude.
"Not anymore,I'll change...I'll be someone people want to be around not someone they have to be around....."
He quietly left the dorm and headed out on the first of what would be many early start days.
A week later and Jungkook was frowning.
"What's up Kook?" Tae murmured yawning as he came into the kitchen.
"Hmm?oh according to the rota Jimin makes breakfast today but he's not up...."
"Unlike him, mind you he's been out early a lot this week...is he in his room we have a radio interview at eight thirty..."
"I'll go call him..."
Jungkook went to get the smaller male,there was only the three of them left in the dorm,Suga had now moved out,Hobi stayed with Suga last night and RM and Jin had gone back to their own places.
He knocked ," Jimin come on your turn to cook..,Jimin?"
He turned the handle and opened the door to a pitch black room.
"Jimin?"
He groped for the light switch and gasped as it came on,what the hell,clothes were heaped on the floor the mirror was covered by a blanket the blinds were closed .the only tidy thing was the bed,it was pristine as if never been used. He took a closer look at the clothes,they had been ripped what was going on?
The front door slammed and within minutes Jimin was at his door.
"Why are you here?"
"I came to wake you,we have a radio interview and it's your turn to cook."
Yer well I'm not hungry so I'm sure you and Tae can do it now it's just us here?"
"Er yer ...,what's with the clothes?"
"I feel like a change.......anything else?" He asked slightly aggressively .
"The mirror?"
"Too much morning light shines on it..."
"But your blinds are shut?""'
Jimin just glared at him," I gotta shower can you go?"
"Eh er yer"
He turned frowning and closed the door making his way back to the kitchen where Tae was eating cereal.
"Jimin seemed in a bad mood so I thought I'd just eat this,I wonder what's up," Tae mused while Jungkook looked back from where he had come.
"Maybe he's just having a bad morning ," he muttered although it seemed more if his room was in that state.
They ate cereal Jimin came back and fetched some bun bags from the kitchen whilst chatting on the phone.
"Yes ten minutes the bags will be outside thank you."
He disappeared then came back with three full bin bags dumping them outside the door.
"Our cars on its way they are dropping the stuff at the dump."
Tae hurriedly got up," Damn I'm not dressed yet!" He hurried off.
Jungkook was dressed," jimin is something up?"
"No..call me when the cars here,"
He went to his room slamming the door  .
Jungkook stood hands on hips,where was smiley happy Jimin ?
He gathered the bits he needed to take determined to have a word with the others to see what had happened to mr nice guy.