Secret desire

Public opinion

"Ah finally, my comfy bed is calling!" Suga said as they piled into the luxurious coach taking them home.
Jimin was still outside bowing to the sergeants.
"Thank you all of you, it was our honour to have you as trainers." He saluted the officers.
"Jimin.....you are a strong young man,don't let others dictate what you can do."
"Be true to yourself Jimin, there is no  right or wrong way to love,it's peoples outdated notions that need correcting."
"It's your life feel free to live it the way you want, others can't judge you they are not in your shoes....oh I think you've got quite a catch in Jungkook...""
Jimin stood open mouthed as the three sergeants said their piece,when they commented on Jungkook he was blushing like mad.
"T-thank you,I hope the tv documentary shows what great trainers you are,oh and I asked management to drop tickets for your families to our next concert.....if you want to go of course...,I mean we may not be your style...so....."
The three men suddenly broke into a dance routine from one of their songs leaving Jimin giggling and the rest gawping out the window.
Jungkook watched as Jimin was enveloped in a group hug,why did people always want to touch his boyfriend!
Jimin got on the bus and became aware of the stares.
"What?"
"Why were our sergeants dancing?"RM queried
"They are fans..."
Jimin sauntered along the coach," gosh bunks too,has anyone claimed them?"
"I'm having one..." Suga stated
"Can I use the other,just for a nap?
"Jimin of course you can, you don't have to ask...."
Jimin went to haul himself up when hands pushed his butt up and then someone clambered in too.
"Kookie!"
"Guys I'm having a nap too and as I'm sure Suga won't let me sleep with him I'm staying in shorties bunk."
Tae sniggered and the others laughed when they heard a cross voice shout,
"I am not short!!!"
"Yer ,yer,lie down and be quiet," Jungkook admonished while he spooned his boyfriend and placed a kiss on his neck, sliding a hand under his shirt and caressing Jimins soft skin.
"Kookie!" Jimin whispered
"Ssshh relax go to sleep,"
Jimin thought he'd find it difficult but the soft caress lulled him off to dreamland and he had the best sleep he'd had in weeks.
Two hours later he awoke stretching to find the bunk empty. He ran his fingers through his tousled hair then climbed down, seeing even Suga had got up.
"Here he is sleeping beauty,come sit with me cutie," Jin said.
Jimin made his way to the seat next to Jin sitting down and glancing around to find Jungkooks eyes on him.
Jin nudged him," here some water,we have about an hour to go but now everyone is awake they might make a food stop.RM..., we are hungry when we stopping?"
Rm nodded and consulted with security, within fifteen minutes they stopped at a quaint little restaurant,a car had gone ahead of the coach and booked te restaurant out for two hours.
Everyone scrambled out and rushed inside grabbing the menus.
"Pork belly yes!!" Jungkook shouted
"Definitely....spicy noodles...,kimchi,oh god I love it," Hobi groaned in pleasure.
The orders were given and soon the group and staff were eating well.
Jimin felt full quickly but enjoyed watching the others eat.
He suddenly started laughing and everyone looked at him.
"It's funny watching anyone would think we had been on a desert island with no food the way we are stuffing it in!"
"But this tastes wonderful,army food is more......"Jungkook said passionately
"Boring?" Jin asked
"Bland,"Suga put in
"Repetitive," Tae suggested
"Yer all of that and here we can sit back and enjoy it with a beer..."
"True...well cheers to all of you, let's hope we can carry on as usual!RM said and they all clinked glasses although Jimins smile wavered.
As the others carried on talking he thought of how the public would perceive him and the rest of them when the documentary came out. The managers were quite calm about it telling him they would never discredit him for his personal choices but Jimin had told them without the others knowledge that if the fallout became too much they must let him resign so that the group could carry on, the manager reluctantly agreed.
"Right now we are full let's get on home...." Hobi yelled and everyone boarded the bus.
Jungkook got involved in a conversation with Tae so Jimin sat further back, his thoughts clouding his mind.
RM squeezed in next to him.
"You ok Jimin?"
"Hmmm oh yeah..."
"Look I know you're worried but don't be and please don't be mad but the boss told me your arrangement, it won't get that bad Jimin."
Jimin sighed of course RM would know, he was their leader.
"I can't in good conscience stay if I make things difficult for you all, eventually you will all get worn down by it and wish me gone and I couldn't bear that I'd rather go before then so that I can be friends from a distance."
"You always worry about others put yourself first and what about Jungkook he really cares for you."
"I-I know but singing is his future I could never ruin that for him, I have this dream where everything's fine and we tell the whole world we love each other and then I realise we have never said it, I thought it but Jungkook...., am I just a fleeting passion..., he deserves someone better...I can love him with my whole being but our relationship so far is short and sweet, is it my wishful thinking that wants it to go further?"
"That's something you two need to discuss but let me ask are you also hoping he will drop you to make things easier? Society is old fashioned if you truly love him you'd fight for him tooth and nail..."
"Or if I love him I'd want him to be happy in his choices not something that took him by surprise , I've always known I'm gay but what does Jungkook class himself as....god I'm so confused...."
Rm hugged the small male seeing he was getting tearful...Jungkook saw it from the corner of his eye and abruptly stood up stopping Tae mid sentence , he walked to where the other two were sitting and looked accusingly at RM when he saw Jimin was upset.
"What did you say?"
"Kookie...RM was trying to cheer me up, I'm worried about the tv show..."
"Here sit with him, he needs you," RM said getting out of the seat and letting Jungkook sit down.
Jungkook cuddled Jimin next to him,
"Hey I'm here babe,nope can hurt you while I'm with you..."
Jimin faked  smile," yer while your with me...." He echoed,"let's see what public opinion says hmmm?"
Jungkook frowned feeling there was something up with Jimin's statement but not knowing what.
For the rest of the journey they sat cuddled together neither saying a word,both lost in their own thoughts.
On arrival at their management building they traipsed inside and had a short meeting where they were told that the tv show would be aired in two days.
Everyone decided they would watch it as a group at the dorm then everyone went their own way and Tae, Jimin and Jungkook went to the dorm .
"Eugh the fridge is empty let's go get some shopping"Jimin said.
Tae and Jungkook looked at each other then Jimin.
"We were kinda gonna set up a game......we haven't played for ages..."Jungkook said guiltily.
"Jimin can't you go on your own?" Tae whined
"Ok....god you two and your games go ahead,I'll clean around a bit then go."
The other two scrambled off to the room they used for gaming and soon Jimin heard loud noises and shouts emitting from there. He shook his head smiling then decided to put laundry on and dust through then wrote out a shopping list before going to the underground garage for his car and driving off.
He wore a facemask and hat and quickly shopped throwing in lots of snacks those two would get hungry playing.
He stood behind two females waiting to pay and couldn't help hearing.
"Look at this! Jimin is gay,that interviewer said Jimin got him thrown out of the camp for threatening to tell all."
"Maybe he was right, maybe idols like them do buy the media..."
"Well I'm not letting my girls watch them anymore,it's not right...."
The women left leaving a shaking Jimin. It had started already and the programme wasn't even out. He kept his head down as he paid and rushed to his car.
Switching the radio on he heard media talking about the revelation and where did the group go now.
People were commenting some were kind and said live and let live, others were vicious , he looked at his phone that he'd left in the car six missed calls from management two from RM. This was it then his future was being decided and he realised he didn't want to lose everyone but he'd given his word.
He agitatedly switched the engine on driving off to god knows where he couldn't face them he thought just before the car was hit and swirled over before blackness claimed him.
"You cheated!"
"Hah I won fair and square..!!"
"Rematch...!"
"Hello anyone....god damn it you two what the hells wrong with you I've called and called..."
"Hey RM chill, we are playing games our phones are in the sitting room,Jimin should have heard them...,on no he's gone shopping I forgot...wanna play?"
"Turn the fucking game off!!!"
Tae and Jungkook jumped at their leaders angry tone.
"Er ok what's got your panties in a twist?" Tae asked
"It's Jimin...that asshole put it out Jimins gay it's been all over the media that's why u tried to call none of you answered!!!"
Jungkook jumped up," fuck...Jimin he's on his own what if he hears it or someone recognises him!"
He took out his phone calling Jimin's number ,
"Shit pick up Jimin,"
RMs phone buzzed and he answered...
"What! When oh god how serious...., no pick us three up now...,oh god...!"
Rm slumped on a chair.
"What! Tell us!" Jungkook yelled
"Jimin...... he's been in an accident ..... his car rolled over they had to cut him out.........the other driver said there was nothing he could do Jimin just pulled out..."
"What how is he where is he let's go now!!!" Jungkook screamed.
"What do you mean just pulled out? Like...he did it deliberately ? On purpose...." Tae whispered
The three stared at each other in horror,had Jimin tried to kill himself?