Secret desire

Dear diary

Dear diary
I found out today everyone thinks I'm a prude,they have all had sex even my Jungkookie.I had to smile even though it hurt that nobody told me, i thought we would be each others firsts.
Dear diary
I can't help how I feel about my Kookie, well I realise he's not my Kookie...he never even thought about moving in with me he wanted Tae,I suppose I can't blame him, I'm never going to be his type however much weight I try and lose or the hours spent in the gym... he can have anyone why settle for someone like me...
Dear Diary
I'm going out tonight new clothes new hairstyle ...strange thing is Kookie and Tae are coming out with me? They never ask me out yet wanted to come when I said Taemin asked me.....
Dear diary
Phew what a night,started off good but then....i was hustled out the club...l got groped by a weirdo and then hurt my ankle knocking him down.
Kookie got mad at me even though he helped me...it hurts so much that he doesn't like me.

The diary went on and on, all with Jimin telling of his feelings for the other,how great it was when they became boyfriends after Jungkook had slated him for trying to taint him with the' queer' brush
The confusion in Jimin was plain to read but not once did Jimin deny how he felt about the other,all the way through he worried about Jungkook writing he would never let anyone hurt him, that the interviewer could bring Jimin down but he'd never let Jungkook be pulled into it because singing was Kookies life he needed that more than anything ,how Jimin now knew he liked him but that he Jimin was sure he wasn't in love with him but that he had enough love for them both.
Jungkook realised tears were streaming down his face, you dumb fuck Jungkook...
He rang Tae.
"What?"
"Are you with Jimin?"
"Of course I am ,I'm not a part time friend!"
Ouch! That hurt.
"I was thinking...maybe he should come home....you know both of us can keep an eye on him..."
Silence then," you better not hurt him anymore," before the phone was slammed down.
Jungkook rushed around, tidying Jimin's room and making sure everywhere was spotless,he ordered in some food filling the fridge and cupboards..Jimin had looked thin.
When he heard the door open he tried to look nonchalant as if he was passing through the hallway until he heard groans and looked up to see Tae struggling with suitcases and Jimin trying to help.
He rushed over grabbing the one from Jimin and another from Tae,
"I'll take them..in your room right?"
Jimin looked at the other biting his lip nervously,
"Erm the black one needs to go in the laundry room the others my room..I've been a-a bit lazy not doing my laundry...." His voice tailed off .
"That's ok I'll put it on.." jungkook marched off,dropping Jimins clean stuff at his room then going to the laundry and sorting through the washing using the two machines there for lights and dark clothing,thank goodness they had two machines from when everyone lived there it would be done in no time. He stored the suitcase away in the utility room before walking back passing Jimins room to see Tae unpacking and Jimin one handedly trying to help.
"I'll start cooking your both hungry right?"
Tae nodded pleased his friend was trying, Jimin was about to refuse when he met Jungkooks stare daring him to refuse...
"Y-yes great..."
As Jungkook walked away he heard Jimin speak to Tae.
"I was going to keep out his way, I know he's mad with me....should I eat in my room?"
Jungkooks heart hurt at the uncertainty in Jimin's voice.
"No Jimin we are a group and he said to come back it will look like you are pushing him away do you want that?"
"Oh no..no, but I don't want him to be uncomfortable around me either you know like he feels forced to be there?"
Jungkook walked away quickly, there it was again how hadn't he seen it, Jimin only wanted what he thought was best for the other person.....damn, he had some serious making up to do.
He went to the kitchen and started the meal, going to lay the table in between cooking. He put the settings at one end of the table so he would be at the end then Jimin one side and Tae facing Jimin.
Pleased with himself he called for them to come.
They all sat down and Jungkook started placing things on Jimin's plate much to Tae's amusement and Jimin's surprise.
"T-thanks that's enough.."
"I've cut the meat up as it's probably awkward in a cast."
"T-thanks."
"Yer you need to eat Jimin that's why you passed out, I thought you said you were looking after yourself?"Tae said frowning at the smaller male.
Jimin looked guilty then mumbled," it's boring eating on your own I didn't feel hungry sometimes.."
"Good thing your back then isn't it?" Jungkook said his tone slightly dominant," we can make sure you get better."
Jimin nodded then kept his eyes down and slowly ate.
After fifteen minutes of this Jungkook felt ansty.
"Tae...what's there?"
"What?where?"
"In the table,Jimins been staring at it for quarter of an hour but I've looked I can't see it?"
Tae caught on.
"Dunno let me look...nope nothing...maybe he has special vision ?"
"Nah your the alien here not him,"
A small chuckle which turned into a choked cough was heard.
Jungkook suddenly had to pat Jimin rapidly on the back as Tae passed him some water. Eventually Jimin could breath properly.
"Will you two warn me when you're trying to be a double act you nearly killed me!"
The tension in the room was broken just like that and they carried on eating occasionally talking. Jimin sat up groaning.
"That's it I'm done I'm stuffed," he patted his stomach with his good hand.
"Whens the cast off ?" Jungkook asked
"Couple of weeks , I can't wait you know when you get an itch you need to scratch but can't reach that's what it feels like and having to put the waterproof sleeve over it when I shower is annoying,I can't use the bath as I can't push myself up.."
The sudden image of a naked Jimin got into Jungkooks head and he felt his pants twitch.
"We could help you." Tae said
"Sorry Tae you're my soulmate but you ain't seeing me in the buff!"
Tae had a sly look on his face," jungkook could help you then.."
"Er no it's fine a shower will do.." Jimin said hurriedly.
Jungkook didn't know he was pouting at Jimin's words,of course he could help him he'd seen it all before...
Tae got up clearing the table and Jungkook turned to say something to Jimin but,
"I'm sorry Jungkook , Tae doesn't think sometimes, I hope you didn't feel awkward just now,thank you for the meal it was delicious, I can't wash up right now but I'll make up for it all when the cast is off. I thank you for saying it's ok for me to come back and I'll try not to get in the way,you and Tae carry on as normal ok.., I'm going to bed now I feel a bit tired."
Jimin got up walking to Tae to say goodnight then going to his room.
Jungkook stared after him worriedly , the others self confidence had surely taken a hit and he knew it was his fault.
Marching to Jimin's room he opened the door to find Jimin struggling to get his top off.
Going over he helped pull it over the cast and off then looked at Jimins blushing face.
"What your pride won't let you ask for help? I've seen it all Jimin so when you want help ask if you want a bath ask, it doesn't bother me do you understand?"
Jimin swallowed the lump in his throat of course it meant nothing to him...
"I'm sorry being a nuisance...I know it doesn't mean anything to you but can I keep a little self respect..., I won't invade your space a-and I'll be careful around you I know I lost any right to ask anything of you so can we try being like we were...no-not as a couple I mean as friends?"
Jungkook realised Jimin had got it completely wrong, he thought Jungkook was annoyed with him that he was messing with his life...
"Jimin....I'm trying to help ok? I'm not condemning , I'm not accusing you of anything,I just want to be your friend be close."
Jimin stared in confusion.
"I..I don't know what you want...,I'm tired Kookie,tired of trying to do things right and getting it wrong....I feel like the bad guy and I don't know how to fix it..."
His head hung down and tears rolled down his face.
Jungkook came over hugging him.
"Wait here I'll run a bath,"
Soon wearing a cast cover Jungkook lowered the naked boy into the bath, hearing the sigh of pleasure.
"Fifteen minutes then I get you out ok, I'll get your pjs out..."
"Erm..c-can you wash my hair first?"
Jungkook held the spray over Jimins hair turning it on to wet it then using shampoo he massaged Jimins hair then rinsed.
"Ok? Anything else you want washed?"
Jimin blushed and shook his head.
Jungkook smirked as he left the bathroom,damn he felt horny. Adjusting himself he got Jimins Pj's out turned the bedside light on and looked around to make sure everything was set.
Looking down at himself he murmured," now behave,it's just a naked body so stop perving"
He knocked on the bathroom door and went in.
"Right I'll pull the plug then lift you out ok,"
Jimin bit his lip then nodded.
Grabbing a big bath towel jungkook tucked it under his chin and held each end,bending down he said,
"Put your good arm around my next, that's it,one two three..." he lifted Jimin's small body up,wrapping one half off the towel behind his body then the other half.
"There we go..."
He carried Jimin to the sunk sitting his body on the unit.
"Right...,toothpaste,water..."
He waited as Jimin cleaned his teeth and rinsed then picked him up carrying him to the bed.
"Hmm sit here while I dry your hair,"
Using a comb and hairdryer he did Jimin's hair then twitched his lips.
"Right gotta dry you now.."
"The towels dried me but if you help me put the top on I can do the rest....." jimin said hurriedly unwrapping his torso so the towel hung around his lower regions.
Swiftly helping with the top jungkook picked the bottoms up..
"Put your feet in then you only have to pull them up."
Jimin did so then looked at the male whose face was level with his because he was kneeling while helping the other.
"Thank you Kookie...I can manage now..."
Jungkook nodded standing up.
"Ok then but call if there's anything you want, goodnight...
Jungkook left missing the whispered words
"Kookie I want you."