Secret desire

Facing facts

The room was quiet except for the steady beep coming from the machine the sound Jungkook was hating but glad was there, it meant Jimin was alive.
The door opened Rm entered.
"Jungkook take a break, you've been here all week,"
"But what if he wakes up?"
"Then you come back...."
Jungkook looked down at the pale face of the male in the bed. A bruise was fading on his cheek his left arm was plastered and he had healing cuts on him where glass had smashed.
"Do you think he did it deliberately ?"
"I honestly don't think so,Jimin would worry about the other person too much but,well until he wakes up we won't know, I do know they said his radio was on so he could have heard the news...."
"But he knew we supported him we were there for him....."
RM looked down coughed then sighed," Kook Jimin told management if the shit hit the fan he would resign he told them if it got too much and the public hated him he was gone."
"What! No he would have told me I'm his boyfriend !"
"He didn't want our lives ruined for something he did to us,"
"Who says he gets to decide! How bloody selfish! I've sat here worried as fuck... when he's wimping out on us, we have no say?shit didn't he think I as his boyfriend should have something to say about it! I'm so fucking mad right now!"
Jungkook stood up pacing.
"Kook it's not like that,Jimin cares a lot for you he did it in your interest, he loves you."
"Sure he does, love? You don't hide things from the one you love you fight together, hell I stuck up for him, we were a couple!"
"Were?"
"Well apparently mr go it alone doesn't need anyone, everything is on his terms,damn you Jimin why eh why!!!"
Jungkook slammed out of the room angrily.
"G-guess he doesn't think much of me then..."
RM turned hurriedly at the quiet voice
"Jimin! Fuck let me get him..."
"N-no," he croaked ," I did this to him I'm not going to make it worse....maybe we just weren't meant to be...."
A lone tear rolled down Jimins face,he tried lifting an arm to wipe it but frowned as he saw the drip.
"Why am I here?"
"Don't you remember...you were out shopping...?"
"Er yer shopping erm we needed food...I was in the queue....then...oh god it's all over the news,I'll have to resign people won't like it, I remember I was in the car and I didn't want to go home I was just going to drive and....thats it...I can't remember anything else..."
"So you didn't ..er crash on purpose?"
"What? No! I was sad because I realised I didn't want to lose you all I wished I hadn't committed to resigning but...wait...you thought I tried to kill myself?!?!"
"Er well it crossed our minds the other driver said there was nothing he could do..."
"Oh god,did I hurt someone, oh please tell me they are ok!!"
"Jimin he's fine he had a big old truck that ploughed into you and rolled your car, you have been very lucky."
"Rm get him a new truck I must have damaged his and tell the police I wasn't concentrating it was my fault entirely."
"Ok ok calm down, you've only just woken up after a week.. don't fret."
"A week!" Jimin made to sit up and groaned ," I really do feel like I've been run over by a truck."
"Hmm well you have healing bruises all over and broke your arm..."
"W-what happened,does everyone hate me, has the press been really bad to you all and the programme what happened..." Jimin said haltingly
"The day of the accident when it came out there were mixed reviews... but not as many bad ones as you thought. Our fans retaliated to the bad reviewers by asking what made them so sure your lifestyle was wrong, you cannot choose who you love it's not based on gender but on feelings.Also funnily enough older people started saying we are a country that prides itself on moving forward yet we hang onto old beliefs.
The programme then came out and honestly we all got praise for how we did and the sergeants spoke out for us all in one recording saying we were a pleasure to train and worked well within the team.the interviewers bits were left in too so it clearly showed his grudge and let's say he was chased down and interviewed for outing you.An old boyfriend came out of the woodwork and told about how it was that interviewers belief that he always got what he wanted through fair means or foul to the point he'd had to place a police order on him forbidding contact."
"So...I don't have to resign?"
"No Jimin..."
"Great that's great...but seems like I've lost Kookie anyway...."
"Let me speak to him , he's just tired we have all been worried about you..."
"No, let him be...,he's right I let him down, I'm everything he says.....Rm get me out of here...it's just a broken arm....I can stay at a hotel..."
"Jimin is that a good idea? "
"Please....I...need time to get myself together I can't do it at the dorm,Jungkook won't want me there...."
RM nodded ringing management to explain, they gave RM an address of an apartment they owned and said they would send a driver.
"I'll get Tae to bring some clothes over ok,"
Jimin nodded then after a doctor had given the all clear he was discharged and smuggled out of the hospital.
They arrived at a beautiful apartment and not long after Tae turned up with Jimin's things.
"God Jimin you scared us......I'm so glad to see your eyes open ...we thought well the car you know...."
"I heard,no I wasn't trying to kill myself I just wasn't concentrating the radio was spewing all this stuff out and well...you know what happened."
"It's weird Jungkooks been there all week and when I said I was coming here he didn't want to know and actually why did you come here and not home..."
At that Jimin broke down," I let him down and he hates me..... "
RM explained the story while Jimin sobbed.
"But you love him is he dumb or something ? Anything you did you would have done to make sure he wasn't hurt?"
"Well I can't prove that can I, he thinks I'm selfish I can see why he thinks it and I deserve everything he says about me...."
"Damn that idiot he needs a good shaking..."
"No Tae,drop it,it's my dream not his and I messed it up."
Tae and RM stayed then a male nurse ordered by the company came to help Jimin undress and get into bed which let him drop off to sleep.
The nurse would stay overnight so Tae and RM left.
Tae walked into the dorm ,Jungkook looked up then turned back to the tv.
"So you not going to ask how he is or where he is?"
"Nope...."
"So that's it? You give up on him?"
"He gave up on me it's plain what our relationship was"
"You dumb fuck listen..."
"Tae...stop I'm done ok...done.."
Jungkook stormed of to his room leaving Tae to try and figure out what to do.
Jungkook sat in his room tears rolling down his face.How could RM say Jimin cared for him he'd been willing to just drop out no discussion ...the pain in his chest made him curl up in his room...damn you Jimin why did you do this to me!!!!