ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴡᴀᴅᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

Incorrect Quotes

So a few of yall have been asking for funny, "blooper" type chapters, so here it is! For this chapter, I just looked up and incorrect quotes site, then put in the names of Wade, Ember, and Y/N. I selected the funniest and most accurate ones. I hope you enjoy!

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Wade: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

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Ember: Any idiot would know that.
Y/N: I knew that!
Ember: See?

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Wade: My head hurts.
Ember: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

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Wade: I've got a weapon, and I'm... admittedly VERY afraid to use it!

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Y/N: *very seriously* You need to stop doing weird things to cope with the stress. Going outside might help.
Wade: I went to the park today.
Y/N: There you go! I hope you got something from that.
Wade: *opening their coat* This duck.

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Ember: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?
Wade: Well, it's frowned upon.
Ember: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier?
Ember: That's okay, right?

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Wade: Are you mad?
Ember: No.
Wade: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

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Wade: Due to personal reasons, I will be sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.
Ember: Did Y/N say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?
Wade: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

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Ember: Is this your plan B?
Y/N: Technically, this is plan P.
Ember: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Y/N: Yes, but I marry Wade in plan M.
Wade: I like plan M.

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Ember: Hey, Wade, are you free on Friday? Like around eight?
Wade: Yeah.
Ember: And you, Y/N?
Y/N: Umm... yes?
Ember: Great! Because I'm not. You two go out without me. Enjoy your date!
Y/N: Did she just-

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Y/N: Okay, I'm going to get the wedding cake.
Wade: Perfect, while you do that I'll check on the ring bear.
Y/N: ...
Y/N: You mean ring bearER, right?
Wade: ...
Y/N: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

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Ember: Hey, Wade? Can I get some dating advice?
Wade: Just because I'm with Y/N doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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Wade, sweating: Y/N, there's something I need to ask you-
Y/N: Finally! You're proposing!
Wade: How'd you know?
Y/N: Wade, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner.
Y/N: I even picked it up once.

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Ember: I know you love them.
Wade: I am not in love with Y/N!
Ember, staring at Wade: I never said who...
Wade: *realizes*
Wade: Well, anyways-

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Ember: H-how do you ask someone out?
Wade: Well, first-
Y/N: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot.
Ember: ...And you said yes?

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Wade: That was so hot, Y/N.
Y/N: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
Wade: I'm so in love with you.

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And now is when the site began repeating the same quotes, so ima end it here ;-;