ᴇʟᴇᴍᴇɴᴛᴀʟ ᴡᴀᴅᴇ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ

Incorrect Quotes Pt2

I didn't realize that the Incorrect Quotes chapter would be such a hit! Because of this, here's another one!

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Y/N: Someone's trying to break in. Call the cops!
Wade: *loads shotgun* I got this.
Y/N: Last week you fell up the stairs, what do you mean-

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Y/N: What's the most illegal thing you can do with one dollar?
Ember: Exchange it for a hundred pennies, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

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Y/N: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Wade, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

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Wade: You're giving me a sticker?
Ember: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Wade: I'm not a preschooler.
Ember: Fine, I'll take it back-
Wade: I earned this, back off!

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Wade: I don't know, they just don't seem interested...
Ember: Did you try talking to them?
Wade:
Wade: Try what?

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Y/N: I'm yet to properly begin my history notes BUT!!!! I got 100% on a quiz about European countries so who's the REAL winner here.

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Wade: You know what I say to my haters?
Y/N: What?
Wade: I say: "Please don't hate me, I'm really nice."

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Y/N: Just be careful, Wade!
Wade: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Y/N!
Wade: It's everything around me that's careless.

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Kidnapper: We have your child
Ember: I don't have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?
Ember: Oh god, you have Wade.

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Ember: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.
Y/N: But are you shuffling?
Ember: Everyday.
Wade: What language are you two speaking??

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Wade: Y/N's gonna kill me.
Ember: No, they'll probably make me do it.

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Ember: Wade learned how to fold origami penguins from Y/N the other day. I told them, "I feel a little bad for the penguins, it's hot here", and the next day they put them in the fridge.

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Pluto (me, the author): I am not a lunatic. I have the psychiatric report to prove it. A slender majority of the panel decided in my favor.

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Y/N : When I said bring me something back from the beach, I meant like a conch shell!
Wade: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Please say that next time!

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Wade: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?
Ember: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

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Wade : You know, sometimes I really think I can be too straight.
Ember, covered in bi merch and sipping an iced coffee: Sucks to be you.

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Ember: So, what is Y/N to you?
Wade: The reason I wake up every morning.
Ember: ...That's adorable.
Y/N earlier that morning, barging into Wade′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Wade : Things will get better!
The Others:
Wade : Okay, maybe they won't.
Wade : But they will be terrible in new and interesting ways!

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*playing twister*
Ember: Right hand red.
Wade: *ends up on top of Y/N*
Y/N: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?
Ember: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

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Wade : I love you.
Y/N: I love me too.

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Y/N : Why are we friends?
Ember: Poor decisions on your part.

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Y/N: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this.
Ember: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question.

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Y/N: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!

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Wade: Y/N, can you help me? All of my clothes keep disappearing for some reason.
Y/N, wearing a hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky

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Ember: How did you break your leg?
Wade: Do you see those porch stairs?
Ember: Yes.
Wade: I didn't.

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Ember: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Y/N: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

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Ember: Do you want some tea?
Wade : What are the options?
Ember: Yes or no.

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Wade, to Y/N: I'll be under the mistletoe when you start feeling desperate!

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I would find some more, but I prefer to finish chapters that some of yall requested months ago that I didn't have time to write until now. Hope you enjoyed!