The Iron Thorn | Theon Greyjoy

11.

Massey

Morning came and went. I found I had no appetite for breakfast. I eventually readied myself, twisting my hair into a braid before starting my day. Arya had no lessons with me today, and Sansa was surely off somewhere with Jeyne. So, I had to find other things to occupy myself with. First off, I needed to find myself a new book.

   Running my fingers along the shelves, I placed the Iron Islands book back next to its dust covered friends. I grabbed a book about the rise and fall of the Targaryens. Not new information by any means, but it doesn't hurt to refresh the mind. I took the book and found a calm place outside to read. From the bench I sat on, I saw Theon and a man I had not yet met walk out of the castle.

   I wanted to be angry with him, but that's not what I felt when I saw him. A longing. A sadness, even. A certain twist in my gut that I couldn't quite identify. Just not anger. He owed me nothing, yet I convinced myself he might feel what I felt for him. The hurt was on me. Our talks and the cake, that was just him being kind. The kisses were only kisses. Meaningless. My father would surely have been disappointed in me anyhow. To leave me in the hands of a Stark, and to return to me in the arms of a Greyjoy. What a thought.

   He spotted me and waved one hand vigorously. I only raised mine in return with a meek smile, which he apparently took as permission to come join me on the bench.

   "There you are. What do you have there?" He asked before taking the book from my hand and inspecting it. "Ah, the Dance of the Dragons. Tragic, really."

   "Yes, I might come to that conclusion myself if you'd let me read it."

   I grabbed for the book, but Theon pulled it out of my reach. Much like a squabble over a wooden sword between Arya and Bran that I had seen a few days ago.

   "What happened to the book I picked for you? Certainly you didn't read the whole thing already." As he questioned me, he still held the new book at his arm's length.

   "It bored me," I retorted, flailing my arm out again in hopes of retrieving what I had been reading.

   "Bored you? Not possible. You find me far too interesting."

   He was right. And, he was charming, unfortunately. I let loose a short, dry laugh that he took as a victory, which prompted him to return the book to my lap.

   "You flatter yourself, Lord Greyjoy."

   "Tell me it isn't true, then."

   I couldn't.

   "That's what I thought. What are you doing out here alone? I missed you at breakfast."

   "I missed you at dinner," I snapped with my eyes still on the page I was trying to read.

   "Fair enough," he replied, not at all understanding the implications of what I had said. "Would you like to spend some time together tonight?"

   The urge to ask if Ros would be joining us was strong, but I contained it.

   "I'm not sure that I can."

   "What? You have other plans?" He asked with a pompous scoff.

   "I might."

   "Massey," he said more seriously. "Come on."

   He didn't seem like he'd give up and not much harm could come from it, so I conceded.

   "Alright, alright."

   "I knew it." He smirked and stood. "You do find me interesting. After dinner, we'll meet in the library once everyone else is settled."

   I nodded once with a tight lipped smile and left him where he stood as I made my way back to the castle. Rickon found me on my way across the yard, running up to me with a scroll in his little hand. I squatted down to meet his eyes.

   "What's this?"

   "A letter," he breathed out. "For you."

   "Thank you, Rickon."

   I smiled at him and brushed some dirt from his cheek before he ran along doing whatever it is a young lord does all day. I unrolled the letter where I stood, too eager to wait.

   Sister,

   We've arrived, and I've settled into my new position. Things here are not as I'd assumed they'd be. There's strife between most people here at all times, no matter their titles. Ser Jaime has been kind to me though, more so than anyone else I've met while here. Father says that King Robert spoke of my excellent potential for knighthood. I must work hard though, and in order to do that, I can't sit around writing letters, can I? It's so good to hear you're getting on with Robb and the others. I know you will make father proud.

Love,

   Broden

   Hearing from my brother made my day infinitely better. I had nothing exciting to tell him, so I was in no hurry to write back. Best not to take his mind off of his duties now anyhow.

———

   "There's no chance. Ser Barristan would crush him," Robb quipped back at Theon as I focused back in on the conversation they were having over their plates.

   Seeing Theon across from me made my stomach turn yet again. It was easy to be distracted by his charm when we were alone, but in the presence of others, the hurt was fresh again. Flashes of our kiss in the library found my mind, tangled with thoughts of where he had spent the last night. They continued on for a bit while I gazed off at the others in the room. Jon eventually noticed and asked me what I was looking at.

   "Oh, nothing," I said. "Just...bored, I think."

   "If we bore you so much, you're welcome to start dining with the other ladies," Theon teased with a faux look of pity, as if that would be some horrible fate. "Though, I doubt you'd fit in."

   I didn't like his tone, so I didn't even acknowledge that he spoke. Instead, I turned my attention to Robb.

   "We should go to Winter Town."

   "What, tonight?" Robb looked surprised that I'd initiate those plans. Normally, I wouldn't, but it seemed the cleanest way to break my plans with Theon. 

   "Sure. I haven't got anything better to do. Do you?" I looked around at all three of them, my eyes stopping on Theon. He gave me a blank stare that was full of confusion, but no one said anything. "Wonderful. Then, it's settled. I'm going to go get washed up and I'll meet you all outside."

   I used Robb's shoulder as leverage to stand and left briskly so that I wouldn't lose the courage I had built up to disregard my plans with Theon. It was stupid to have agreed to them in the first place. I reached my room quickly, where I donned my surcoat before heading back down. When I got out of the doors and toward the main gate, only Theon was there and waiting. He looked as though he hadn't gone back to his room after dinner. I dipped behind some stacked barrels until I spotted Jon and Robb. For every moment I sat there, I doubted myself a little more. Should I have kept my plans with Theon? Perhaps I should have been honest with him instead of trying to hurt him. Because, at the end of the day, that's what I knew breaking the plans that I had with him would do. At the familiar sound of Jon's voice, I finally pulled myself from my shameless hiding spot and joined them at the gate. I looked at the open gate, peering ahead at whatever distractions would keep me from confronting my own desires.

   "Ready?"