The Iron Thorn | Theon Greyjoy

44.

Massey

I found myself pacing our chambers once I had returned, contemplating if I'd made the right choice by refusing Osha so quickly. In my hand, I clutched the concoction Maester Luwin had given me in order to help me get some rest.

   Perhaps I could slip some in Theon's water basin. Could it be so easy?

Internally, two voices were instructing me on what I ought to be doing. Two versions of me. One wanted to find Osha, to tell her I'd changed my mind and to leave Winterfell with them. A version that desired to leave this open air prison at any cost.

Five people in the wild North, one unable to walk and all ill prepared for the journey. I would just be a burden, another mouth to feed.

No, I can hunt. I could feed them.

But, Osha could do the same. And better.

How could I even sneak a bow past the ironborn? It's not like I could kill a rabbit with my own two hands.

The other version, too scared to even attempt leaving, knew my place was next to Theon, come what may. Even if that meant deceiving him. The sun was nearly set. Theon would be returning soon.

I could help transport Bran. To ease the journey for all of them.

No, Hodor is more well equipped for that task than I could ever be.

Anytime now.

What if the concoction didn't work fully? He's already paranoid enough. He'd be bogged down by fatigue, surely wise to the fact that I had slipped him something in order to conceal some secret from him. A betrayal. Better yet, what if he walked in as I was pouring it into his water?

I eventually succumbed to my more timid nature, placing the sleeping concoction back down on the table near our bed. I couldn't risk sleep. No, despite my heavy eyelids, I had to make sure that he stayed in our chambers. I changed hastily into my thinnest nightgown, one I'd brought from home, and wrapped myself in a robe to not come off too obvious as to what I would do in order to keep him distracted.

He eventually returned to find me sitting up in bed reading a book in the soft candlelight. I kept it open in my lap as he moved in and started to shed his clothes.

"Hello," I came across the room softly, prompting him to quizzically look toward me, no doubt wondering why I'd greeted him more kindly than usual.

"You alright?" He groaned, bending to shed his boots. I nodded gently, biting down on the inside of my cheek as we kept on staring at one another. "Why haven't you gone to sleep?"

"Couldn't find it, I suppose."

"Might help if you put away the book," he commented dryly as he walked to his water basin and filled a cup with the last of the water inside. He then took it to his side of the bed and climbed in, now only in his cotton tunic and smallclothes.

Theon got himself snug at the edge of his side of the bed, not paying all that much attention to me after that.

"I'm going to rest a few hours. You should take what Luwin brought you," he huffed as he rolled to face the wall. The exhaustion in his voice was apparent, and I hoped that if I stayed quiet, he'd sleep for more than a few hours.

"Alright, I will," I breathed out before blowing out my candle and stashing my book away.

I laid flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and fighting off the urge to toss and turn in fear of stirring Theon from his slumber. It was at least three hours before he awoke and stood from the bed, heading toward the door while still pulling on his trousers. I didn't know what he did when he left the room at night. For all I knew, he was merely tending to menial things. He could have been searching for a late night meal. He could simply stand outside of the door for his own amusement until he decided to come back to bed. I didn't know because I never followed him out or asked him any questions. What I did know was how poorly things would turn out if Osha and Hodor were caught stealing the boys away in the night. Theon had almost reached the door when I spoke up, grumbling to give the illusion that I had been at least resting, if not sleeping soundly.