Boy across the street (KSM/HHJ)

seven

Seungmin PoV

My father died.

I was laying in my bed, my head was pounding from all the stress, I had a terrible feeling in my stomach and every time I got up I felt like I was going to pass out at any moment.

The funeral had mentally exhausted me, everything had made me so damn exhausted.

The day Hyunjin fought for me, I came home and found him. My own father and he was dead. I was shocked, so I called my sister who didn't answer, then my aunt who answered immediately and tried to calm me down.

I didn't cry, I never cry in front of others, not even on the phone, but I still panicked.

I only cried alone in my room after that.

My aunt organized the funeral with me. Friends, acquaintances and family showed up.

And my sister. The whole time I was hoping that she would show up and when she did I didn't want to let her go. I hadn't seen her in a while. But as always, I didn't see her for long. She had to leave soon...

I writhed around in my bed. I couldn't believe it, I lived all alone now, in a big house with a garden, my aunt had no room for me and my sister no time. I had inherited money from my father but it didn't feel right.

I felt alone, so freaking alone.

I didn't want to borther my friends, I knew that they had their own problems.

I even thought about asking Hyunjin to keep me company, but it was Hyunjin... He probably only helped me the other day because he happened to see it.

I sat up and looked through the window into the older ones room. He was lying on his bed, probably with his headphones in his ears, as always.

I couldn't tell if he was sleeping or not. My thoughts swung out of my head and I stared at the window. It felt like all these thoughts were moving out of my head and into another universe. I didn't think about anything anymore.

I didn't want to think about anything anyway. I wanted to get away from here, just leaving everything behind would be a nice option, but I didn't know if I could handle that.

Escaping into another universe would be nice.

If there are multiple universes, why am I in this one?

A world in which you have to be ashamed of being the person you are, of the gender you love, where women are worth less than men, where people fight wars to be more powerful, climate change, murder, rape and so much more.

A terrible universe.

Again, in another universe there could be other problems.

I hated it.

I was still looking out the window when I noticed Hyunjin moving, he took out his notebook, which always looked like he was constantly gluing new pages into it, and started to write something.

I wondered what he was writing, what was going on in his head, what this notebook was all about.

I wondered what it would be like to sit next to him and read what he wrote and be able to see his drawings.

He was a person you couldn't stop looking at.

He was almost stunning. I think that was the case for everyone who saw Hyunjin.

His hair hung a little over his face and I wondered when he last cut it. It wasnt that long but he was already able to make a ponytail even though some of the hair was still falling out.

I had the urge to want to push his hair behind his ear. The moment I thought of it he did that and I felt a strange feeling in my chest.

He's been the boy across the street for a long time and I've never noticed him as much as I have since this school year.

I fell back with a loud sigh and closed my eyes.

I should get some rest.

~

Changbin came running towards me and threw away his cigarette, which Minho stepped on to extinguish it. Apparently they were just on their way to school and when the second oldest saw me in front of the main entrance to the school, he ran up to me and hugged me.

He hugged me tightly and said: "I missed you!"

"I was only away for a week."

The latter mumbled something and then let go of me. Minho was also slowly joining us and asked: "Why weren't you at school?"

I didn't know what to say for a moment. Should I be honest? Should I lie? They were kind of my best friends so somehow they would find out at some point anyway.

I hesitated for a moment but then simply said it: "My father died." They were both shocked. They didn't say a word and just looked at me speechless.

"I'm sorry for you..." Changbin said, looking down at the floor a little.

"Are you just going to stay in the house alone now?" Minho asked me as the school doors opened and the students were finally allowed in.

"Yes, the house officially belongs to my uncle and he said I could live there as long as I wanted. I can take care of myself too, I'm seventeen, and my father made a lot of money before he became an alcoholic and the money from my mother is mine now too," I explained, trying to switch off my feelings.

"Okay understand," said the older one without looking at me and went to his locker.

"Don't worry about how callous Minho reacts, he doesn't know how to deal with such feelings," Changbin told me when we walked to our lokers.

We had our lockers next to each other but Minho further away from us. I looked at him and said, "Oh really? It's not like I haven't been friends with Minho for years." The sarcasm in my voice was clearly audible.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to make it clear to you again because you're probably not feeling well and if Minho reacts like that then-"

"I'm fine, Changbin, everything's okay," I said, interrupting him.

He thought I would tell him the truth but

I lied.

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