Boy across the street (KSM/HHJ)

thirty-three

Hyunjin PoV

I looked at Minho with slight concern because he looked like he hadn't slept much due to the deep circles under his eyes and his posture radiated sadness.

Seungmin pulled him into the house with him because the older one seemed like he couldn't get in on his own. While my boyfriend (it seems so unreal to say it like that) said: "Do you want to tell us or just me what exactly is going on or do you just need some company?"

The person being addressed seemed very absent, it almost seemed as if he wanted to escape from this reality.

Soon he sat down and said quietly: "Seung, do you remember how I was forced to read my story in the literature class?" The younger nodded but I didn't understand what Minho meant by that.

"The Stone and the Bird?" Seungmin asked and it felt strange to hear those two words in such a context. "Exactly, I feel like the bird but worse," the oldest of us replied, which only made me more confused. "So you feel dead? What happened to make you so depressed?"

"I don't know, I feel like this for no reason and I feel like I want to burst into fucking tears at any moment. It's crazy cause I feel so abnormally uncomfortable in my own skin that I want to pull it all of." These words were harsh. They were full of sorrow. He seemed like he felt like the most pathetic creature in the world. I felt sorry for him.

"Maybe you need a change," I blurted out without even thinking. He looked at me slightly skeptical, annoyed but mostly sad. Despite the fact that he looked at me like that, my words seemed to have reached him.

"But what change?" He asked me and I shrugged my shoulders. "Only you can find out, we can only get you on the right path."

He groaned in annoyance and let his head roll back. "But that doesn't help me," he said and I tried to continue speaking normally: "Maybe you need to change your mindset," I sighed

"I was in a similar situation and it helped me a lot to go for walks and find places to that healed me."

He was quiet, it seemed as if he was thinking about it, as if he had in mind exactly what it would be like to find a place like that.

Seungmin sat down next to him, put his head on his shoulder and said: "Even if you feel like that now, it will pass, okay?"

I knew that he only wanted to comfort the eldest of us, but the blood in my veins began to boil. Still I swallowed the jealousy down my throat and continued to listen to the two of them.

They talked to each other, Minho tried to explain how he felt and Seungmin listened and gave him advice.

Of course Seungmin could help him better than I could the two of them were best friends after all.

"Maybe I should try what Hyunjin said... find a place where I can recover from everything," Minho said and I was surprised.

"I want the place to be a place where I can relax where I can write in peace and one day when I find the right one I will show him that place and then its our secret place where we love to be! Thanks hyunjin!" He said and then hopped up with a slight smile at these thoughts.

A small smile crossed my lips and I looked at Minho. “That sounds like a plan, doesn’t it?” I said and he nodded.

"And uhm... maybe you should stop smoking," I said quietly, getting quieter because Minho was a little intimidating me at that moment.

"No chance. Something has to happen to me to make me stop," he replied and his sharp gaze landed on me.

It was hopeless, it was just like telling a gambling addict to stop wasting money or telling an alcoholic to stop drinking.

I just hoped for his health that he would stop at some point because he was only harming himself. But maybe he needed it at the moment because he thought he had to harm himself.

I had no idea about his problems or his childhood, just as I had no idea about Changbin, but when they see how valuable this life can be, they will come to their senses.

Hopefully.

"Can I talk to Seungmin for a moment?" the eldest asked and I nodded then turned around and went to my room. It was okay that they were alone. It was none of my business.

Even if I felt that I was overflowing with jealousy I knew Seungmin didn't want anything from Minho. But with Minho I wasn't sure if he sometimes flirted with him for fun or was serious.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the white ceiling. I had often thought about painting the walls here as well as the ceiling; a colorful artistic room would be nice. I would paint on the wall anywhere like Rapunzel did in the movie.

But first I have to ask Seungmin. I haven't had the courage yet because I wanted to get my own apartment, but maybe I don't have to look for one anymore now that we're a couple.

When I thought about it, I grinned and giggled like when I got my first Lego when I was a little boy.

Like I always wanted it.

I've wished for a small friendship group that I could always count on for a long time.

There was a soft knock on the door and Seungmin came in, which made me sit up. "He went home to talk to his parents and then do what you told him," said the younger one and then came towards me.

He sat down next to me, lightly touched my thigh with his and looked at his hands, which he was kneading nervously.

"D-Do you have a place like that that you would show me?" I smiled and took his hand so he looked at me and said, "Yeah, do you want to see it?" He nodded and I smiled.

Then I stood up, took him by the hand and said: "Let's go then."

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