Boy across the street (KSM/HHJ)

fourty-two

Seungmin PoV

His arms hugged my waist while I sat comfortably between his legs, the TV being the only thing making noise and sometimes cars driving by. I could feel Hyunjin's breath on my neck, which calmed me down. I've been pretty unfocused and anxious lately.

After Hyunjin and I were able to sort things out, we had a game night at Changbin's without alcohol, which was really a lot of fun, but then I suddenly started having daily anxiety attacks that often lasted two to three hours. It's been like this for a whole week...

"Are you okay?" the older one asked me and I nodded. "Just a little tired," I said and yawned, even though I woke up at 1pm and it was only three hours later, I could have easily fallen asleep again.

The other one gently kissed my neck and then asked me if I would like some coffee, to which I slowly got up so that he could get up too. When he stood up I noticed our height difference, he was only a centimeter taller than me but it was still noticeable.

"Hyunjin," I said without continuing the sentence. "Mhm?" escaped his lips and I threw myself back onto the sofa. "I don't know, just wanted to say your name."

When I looked at him he shook his head with a slight smile and then went into the kitchen to make me coffee.

I just lay on the sofa and stared at the ceiling. I didn't know why I was so anxious and tense lately, I just couldn't explain it all and it just happened. Randomly during the day I had the feeling that something was cutting my air off, I started shaking violently and felt uncomfortable in my own skin and just wanted to rip myself apart so I wouldn't feel like that anymore. I briefly closed my eyes and put my hand on my forehead until Hyunjin came back.

There were so many thoughts floating around in my head like the little balls and lights that always appeared as a child as I closed my eyes and waited until one of them came close enough for me to open my eyes again.

I was so lost in thought, it was like they had lost me, which is why I didn't notice Hyunjin sitting down next to me until I suddenly felt his hands next to my shoulders and when I opened my eyes I saw his beautiful face leaning over me.

We looked deeply into each other's eyes for a moment until I propped myself up on my elbows and was closer to him than I had been for some time.

My anxiety had made it difficult for me to kiss him, which was why this was the closest we'd been to each other in a week.

He slowly leaned forward and our lips almost met.

"May I?" He breathed, gently stroking his index finger down my arm, giving me goosebumps. I nodded and the next moment he kissed me, finally feeling his lips on mine again felt like a whole firework was exploding inside me. I deepened the kiss a little and felt his closeness so strong.

When we parted I collapsed back onto the sofa and smiled. "I missed that," I whispered and he sat up. He didn't say anything about it, so I looked at him confused. "Everything okay?" I asked and he nodded.

"Drink your coffee before it gets cold," he said and handed me the cup. I sat up and leaned against my boyfriend. "Is everything really okay?"

"Yes honey, I was just a little overwhelmed by your situation and was afraid of doing something wrong," said the older one and then looked at me with a smile.

"That kiss just felt even more special than usual." He was right, somehow it was as if it was a moment that we would both remember forever. I slurped on the coffee and enjoyed the warmth it gave off. After a short silence, I finished drinking it and looked at Hyunjin again.

"Oh god, how can someone be so beautiful ?" I wondered and came closer to him again. "Not everyone is as lucky as me," he said with a grin and I grinned back at him. "I would love to devour you right now," I breathed against his lips and sat on his lap.

"Then show me how you devour me," he grinned back and slowly I started kissing his lips and then kissing my way down his neck. At his colarbone i sucked a bit so it left a mark, to show everyone that he was mine while he put his hands under my shirt and caressed my waist under my hoodie, which was actually his. His fingertips were slightly cold which gave me goosebumps.

I slowly felt like I was losing control and the only thing I wanted was him.

His hands on my body felt so perfect and I wanted to feel much more than just these touches. As he started to undo his shirt there was suddenly a knock on the door and I looked at it annoyed.

“That doesnt matter right now,” I said and also took off my hoodie and shirt. He briefly stroked my upper body until there was another knock, louder, which was why I got up in annoyance and put my hoodie back on, but left the shirt lying there and went to the door. I opened it just as annoyed because I was expecting Minho, Changbin or both at the same time, but who I saw in front of me was neither of them.

For a moment it felt like I couldn't move.

It was my sister.

She hadn't been in touch after the alcohol incident and I thought she had completely forgotten about me and would never come back to support her younger brother after our father's death.

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