Boy across the street (KSM/HHJ)

twelve

Hyunjin PoV

When I got home I wasn't greeted, neither looked at, it had been like that ever since they read my diary. It was as if I had become invisible to her. As I was about to go to the refrigerator to get some food, I heard my mother say: "Your grandparents are coming for dinner today, I would like you to eat with them.

"I thought I wasn't part of the family anymore," I replied coldly and still took the food for me. "Hyunjin, do this for your grandparents," she said and finally looked away from her laptop and her work things to look at me. I also looked at her, rolled my eyes and sighed. "I'm just doing it for grandma and grandpa."

Annoyed and with the salad and the fork I had taken, I went to my room. I didn't know why I took it with me but I didn't touch it and just left it on my desk.

I hated this house.

This family. I was a little happy to be able to leave, but it was still a big question where I should go.

A little time passed, while I continued painting an unfinished picture. It was a naked figure with brown hair. Red roses entwined around his body and also covered his genitals. In the background you could see an old office, trashed, with lots of papers lying around. He had no face, it was hidden by a cloth. I didn't know how I came to draw this, but I started it a few months ago and now felt the need to finish it.

When I was almost finished there was a knock on the door and my mother opened it. "They are here, food is ready please come down." I got up and wanted to go downstairs when my mother stopped me. "You don't tell your grandparents about your problem, okay? And put on something sensible, theres paint all over your shirt," after saying that she left.

She would never understand that it wasn't a problem, it was just the way it was and there was nothing I could do about it.

I quickly changed into something else and went downstairs to be lovingly greeted by my grandparents.

I felt loved like I hadn't in a long time. "After dinner I would like to see your drawings and paintings, my dear," said my grandma after she gave me a tight hug and I smiled broadly. 

She had always been enthusiastic about my drawings and loved to analyze them and create a kind of story about them. We went to the dining table where there was already food on the table. I sat next to my mother and across from my grandmother.

 She said something to Grandpa and then we started eating. My father wasn't at home, as usual. It was quiet and I could feel like my mother didn't really want me there. As I was taking a bite, my grandpa asked me, "How are you doing at school?" 

"Pretty good, I'm pretty good in all subjects, the teachers are nice and our school offers dance classes in the afternoon where I go every Monday, Wednesday and Friday," I answered him and smiled. "That sounds like fun, is there anyone who's gotten your attention?" 

I got a little nervous. My grandfather always asked me if there was anyone I liked since I was fifteen. 

The Moment I wanted to answer, my mother quickly said: "No, there's no one." She said it sharply and tensely. I played with my food and stared at it. I've lost my appetite and felt oppressed by my mother and left my grandparents believing. They would probably react the same way my mother did if they found out I was into boys. She got her opinion of gay people from someone and that was probably her parents. 

We slowly finished eating and my grandma really wanted to see my drawings, so we went upstairs and I started to show it to her. We always got along well, she pretty much raised me because my parents were always working so I was with her and she looked after me. She was important to me and I would probably never see her again soon, so I had to enjoy my time with her. 

"And in that I see an eye full of grief, it radiates pain but at the same time feels drawn to someone and is torn back and forth, it doesn't know what to do and in the end it decides that  other people are more importent than itself," she said as she looked at a picture of an eye that I had drawn three weeks ago. 

"Do you know that you could make good money with all these drawings and paintings, Hyunjin?" She asked me and I nodded. "Maybe one day." 

I gave her my sketchbook since she asked me to and she flipped through it.

Suddenly she stopped at one side and took a closer look. When I looked closely I could see that it was a drawing of Seungmin. It was drawn in pencil and showed him reading something in a book. 

I remembered that. It was in the library after class, I still had something to do for school and didn't want to go home yet so I went there to study. A table next to me I spotted Seungmin engrossed in reading a book, his hair was a little messy and I found him so beautiful at that moment. So I just had to draw him. 

That was the moment I knew he was special.

 "Who is this?" 

"A boy from my English class. I thought he looked aesthetic at that moment, so I drew him," I replied. As she continued to look through, more and more drawings of Seungmin were to be seen and I was about to take the book away from her. "You often seem to find him aesthetic," she said, and on the next pages there were no more drawings from him. 

"Yeah I guess," I said quietly and we looked at more drawings. The silence was a little uncomfortable until she started making up stories about the drawn pictures and we could laugh together.

I wished I could stay longer. I wished we could spend more time. I wished I didn't have to go.

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A bit boring. Still hope you like it. ~Yumi