Boy across the street (KSM/HHJ)

fifteen

Hyunjin PoV

Tears streamed down my cheeks, I cried for the first time after my parents told me I had to go. I had begged them to be able to stay longer, not to have to leave at all, but they didn't listen to me.

Didn't tjey see the pain in my eyes? Did they not care at all about the tears I shed? Just because I liked the same gender?

"Mom please, you can't just throw me out. I don't know where to go," I cried but was already standing at the top of the stairs with my suitcases and bags.

"Don't be dramatic, get the fuck out of our house now or I'll drag you out," my father said in an angry voice.

I stood stubbornly and didn't move away, looking pleadingly at my parents. With loud and aggressive steps, my father walked up the stairs to me and pulled me outside firmly by my wrist.

I tried to fight it but it was too strong. More and more tears flowed until I was dragged to the front door and stood outside. In the cool autumn air. The door was slammed in front of my eyes and I banged on it: "My things!" 

With one last kick at the door, I gave up and sat on the floor against the wall of the house. I ran my hand through my hair in stress and sighed through my tears. I couldn't believe that this was really hapenning.

Suddenly the door was opened and for a brief moment I hoped that my mother had just been manipulated by my father and that she never wanted any of this, but the only thing that happened was that she threw my things in front of the door and didn't even look at me. 

I slowly got up and picked up my many things and started walking down the street. Maybe a walk would help me calm down. I pulled the suitcase behind me, had my two favorite tote bags swung over my shoulder, a backpack and a heavy, larger bag with my art supplies.

 If I had been able to carry more, I probably would have taken all of my clothes with me.

 I laboriously wiped away my tears because of the many things I was carrying and let my feet guide me.

 But soon the bags became much too heavy and I decided to go back. To the house accross the street. To Seungmin. I didn't know if this was a good idea but I didn't have anyone else to go to. 

I had thought about going to my grandparents for a long time, but I was too afraid of how they would react. 

So Seungmin was the solution.

I slowly knocked on the door, hoping my eyes weren't so red anymore.

Seungmin opened the door and looked at me for a few seconds. "You look like shit," Seungmin said. He wore a hoodie that was much too big for him, sweatpants and no socks. His hair was messy and he didn't have his glasses on. Two of his fingers had plasters on them and the rest of his fingers looked like he had chewed off the skin next to his nails. "You don't look like you're doing well either," I replied and he looked at my suitcase. 

"C-Can I come in?" The younger one seemed to think for a moment and then simply nodded. He took a step to the side and let me in. I took a quick look at how tidy the room was and then put my things down on the ground. "What happened?" 

"My parents found out about my sexuality, then they wanted me to leave the house." My counterpart seemed speechless and didn't respond, he seemed to have to process it first. "You don't have to say anything about it. Can I just stay here until I find a Saturday job and have enough money to move into my own apartment?" 

"Uhm, yes. Yeah you can stay, I need some company anyway." I was slightly surprised that he agreed so quickly. But he seemed to get nervous.

He scurried into the kitchen and came back with a glass of water after telling me I could sit somewhere. I sat on the couch and looked at the black TV screen. Seungmin put the glass on the coffee table in front of me and seemed to want to say something.

 "Sexuality so are you bi-sexual or..." I had to smile a little because of his uncertainty. "I'm gay," I said and he nodded, muttering something incomprehensible. "You thought I was straight right?" 

Seungmin laughed, again with uncertainty and noded. "I'm sorry, all the girls at school love you and you were always so nice to them. I just thought you were a womanizer-" I interrupted him. "You're not the only person who thinks that so don't worry."

After a short, uncomfortable silence, I asked where I could sleep because I was already pretty tired from all the stress. 

"I don't know, my father was never in his room and it was almost completely cleared out except for the bed and the closet you can sleep therer. You could also sleep on the couch but my father always got drunk there and I don't know if you would feel comfortable," he said and slowly I began to understand what had happened, why Seungmin was so exhausted and wasn't there for a few days. 

"Your father... He died right?" The other one looked at me, no noise, no answer. He just stared at me. His eyes started blinking quickly so he turned around and nodded. I knew he was going to start crying any moment so I got up and stroked the back of his head and said everything would be okay. He shook his head and began to sob violently. 

"I hate that I am being so weak right now, that I cry so much, why?" 

"It's okay..." I whispered and the next moment Seungmin hugged me. He wrapped his hands tightly over my thin body and cried into my shoulder. A little surprised, I hugged him back and continued to stroke the back of his head. We stayed like that for some time until he separated from me and I could see the shadows of grief and trauma lurking behind his eyes. 

Tears were sticking to his cheeks and his eyes were so red that it hurt to look at him. "I didn't really care about him, he was an alcoholic and a bad father. But when I found him dead in the bathroom I was so shocked. I couldn't go in for a few days and-" he interrupted himself. "I should just stop speaking." 

"No, it's okay, no matter what you can talk to me about me anything." He took my hands which caused a tingling sensation throughout my body. "Thank you. It's nice to hear that," he said, still in tears.

 I released one of my hands from his and wiped away his tears. I wanted to be there for him, to reach out for him and ease the burdens he was carrying. 

It was always as if there was a wall in front of us that kept us away from each other but in that moment, my feelings for him grew deeper, and the wall between us began to crumble.

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