fade to black | james hetfield [1]

nineteen

chapter nineteen: but the regrets are killing me

Alice ended up agreeing to go with James to the cabin without hesitation. As for the rest of the band, they weren't excited to hear that she would join them for the weekend.

James didn't bother to tell her about what happened between him and Iris. It didn't matter anyway, she could care less about Iris.

It was obvious to everyone that Alice didn't like Iris at all. There was a time during the drive when she even went as far as to make a rude comment that rubbed everyone the wrong way.

"Well I'm glad to be coming along with you guys," She smiled. "I was waiting for James to realize that other girl wasn't good enough for him." She laughed, her tone sounding bitter.

The whole van had gone silent once she said that. That was their dear friend she was talking about, and they were even shocked that James seemed to have no reaction to it.

Alice didn't need to know the exact details about what was going on between him and Iris, she was just glad that James forgot all about her. Now that Iris was gone, she could take her place.

They changed the subject after that point, not wanting to cause any problems before the trip even started. However, the tension was still there and they weren't going to let it go so easily.

There were enough rooms in the cabin for everyone to stay in, but everyone had to share with someone else. While that wasn't a problem for the rest of them, it was an issue for James and Alice.

Each room had one bed and James didn't want to share a bed with Alice. She didn't mind having to share with James, and she even insisted that he sleep in the bed with her instead of going on the floor.

He wasn't stupid, he knew what she was trying to do. They agreed to remain as friends and she was doing the complete opposite. He still made a makeshift bed on the floor much to her disappointment.

They spent the day playing in the river and letting loose for the weekend. Alice was more focused on being with James for most of the time, barely giving the time of day to anyone else. 

James was talking with Lars, Kirk, and Cliff about some guy stuff while the girls were doing the same elsewhere. However, Alice wanted to be with James rather than with the other girls.

Lars had enough of Alice standing there, so he spoke up. "Full offense, but can't you go hang out with the other girls and leave us alone?" Lars asked rudely.

"No," She said, hooking her arm with James's arm. "I wanna hang out with James, whether you like it or not." She replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

Lars groaned and muttered something under his breath before walking away from them. Alice never seemed to get along with any of James's friends which meant they were avoiding her and he was stuck with her the whole time.

At some point, the guys disappeared with their girlfriends. James and Alice were left on their own, deciding to take some of the beers that were left and head back to the cabin for the night.

They both sat on the bed, setting the beer down between them. There was no one else in the cabin, which meant they could finally have a private moment to themselves.

It reminded James of when he went to the beach with Iris, a moment that felt so long ago. It was perfect at the time, but in hindsight, it was the calm before the storm that they were both facing.

While James was lost in his thoughts, Alice had been inching towards him. She took the silence as an opportunity to kiss him, practically throwing herself on top of him.

James was ripped from his thoughts and taken aback, but he couldn't help leaning into the kiss. He held her closer and leaned back into the bed, allowing her to straddle his lap.

While James continued to make out with Alice, his mind drifted to Iris. As much as Alice was helping to provide the distraction he wanted, the alcohol was not. This wasn't right.

Iris would've been there with him had he not snapped and left her at home, suffering and alone. The nightmares he had over the past couple of days only made him assume the worst.

James suddenly pulled away from Alice, creating space between them as the guilt started to eat away at him again. He promised he would never leave Iris, and he ended up breaking that promise.

"What? What happened?" Alice asked, lowering her shirt that had risen in the midst of their actions.

The regret was starting to sink in and he wanted to get away from Alice and the cabin as soon as possible. He feared that by the time they would get back home, Iris would be gone.

Alice put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off, causing her to look at him in annoyance. "I'm going for a walk." He sighed, getting up from the bed and heading out of the room.

Alice yelled something at him, but James didn't bother to pay her any mind. He grabbed a beer and walked out of the cabin, hoping to clear his head.