fade to black | james hetfield [1]

twenty five

chapter twenty five: missed calls

"Hello?"

Iris froze when she heard his voice. She was silent, trying to figure out if it was really him or if she was just hearing things.

"Hello? Who is this?" James asked again. She could hear the other band members in the background asking who it was, but James shrugged. 

She heard Cliff speak back to James. "Just hang up, it's probably some stupid kids trying to prank call." 

"No wait," Iris spoke up, hoping he wouldn't hang up. "James? It's Iris." She said, her heart beating out of her chest. 

James felt his heart drop into his stomach. He wasn't sure if it was out of relief, happiness, or fear, but he didn't know what to say or do when he heard her voice again.

He was relieved to hear that she was doing okay, happy to have her call him and hear her voice, but scared about what she was calling for. Was she going to officially end things with him for good?

After a long silence on the phone, Iris spoke up again, not sure if he was still on the line or not. "James—"

"Iris," He interrupted her, taking a deep breath. Now that he had her there, it was the perfect time to say what he had been wanting to say. "I'm really sorry." 

She felt her heart flutter when he spoke, glad that she finally heard the apology she was waiting for. She wished that she could see him and hold him again. 

There was an unspoken tension that still lingered between them, the silence that remained after one said something was killing them both inside. There was so much they wanted to say and yet, they couldn't say it. 

On the other side of the phone, the band kept asking James who was on the phone to make him sit there in silence. He kept waving them away, ignoring their begging to know who it was. 

"Iris..." He whispered over the phone, trying to convince himself that what he was hearing was real. "How are you? How have things been?"

Should she tell him the truth? Should she tell him about the way she was in a dark place? Maybe he wouldn't care as much as she wanted him to and she didn't want him to worry about her. 

"I've been okay." Iris lied through her teeth. James knew that she was lying, but he wasn't going to call her out on it. He just got her back and he didn't want to mess things up so fast.

"I heard you're on tour with the band now," She spoke softly. "That's pretty cool." She laughs a bit, trying to ease the tension and make conversation.

"Oh, yeah," He laughed nervously. "Every place we stop at is pretty exciting." He said, trying his best to keep the mood light. 

James didn't think that she knew he was on tour, but he knew he looked like an asshole right now. 

Iris didn't feel any ill will toward him. She was just happy that he was trying to talk to her instead of ignoring her like the last couple of times she tried to call him. 

The rest of the phone call was awkward, filled with long silence and questions that were clearly an attempt to not bring up the elephant in the room.

As she listened to James talk about how touring was going so far, she started to feel tears brimming in her eyes. She didn't know why she suddenly became overwhelmed, but she couldn't fight them back.

"Iris, are you okay?" James asked, concerned for the small sniffles he heard coming through the other end of the phone. 

Iris tried her best to act as if she wasn't crying while the tears spilled onto her cheeks, but James could already tell. "James, I-I miss you." She admitted over the phone. 

He sighed deeply, his heart aching for the girl who needed him the most. "Iris, I miss you too," He replied, the familiar guilt of leaving her coming back. "We'll see each other soon, okay?" 

Iris felt her heart flutter. She was going to see him again, just like she had wanted all this time. "You promise?" She asked weakly, her face soaked with tears.

"I promise." He replies.

Iris heard one of the boys in the background shouting something at James again. She couldn't help but laugh a bit, recognizing the voice to be Kirk's. 

James shouted something back before turning back to the phone. "Sorry, I have to go," James said to Iris, laughing a bit. "It was nice to hear from you again." He said to her.

"It was nice to hear from you too," Iris replied. "Bye, James." She said quietly. 

There was another moment of silence before he answered. "Bye Iris." He replied before hanging up. 

Iris felt sad when she heard the line go dead. For the first time in weeks, she heard from him and all she wanted to do was spend the rest of the day talking to him. But she understood that he had other priorities.

While they weren't going to see each other for a while, what mattered was that there was a promise he made to see her again, and he wasn't going to go back on that promise.