fade to black | james hetfield [1]

twenty nine

chapter twenty nine: let's make this last forever

Iris flinched when she heard a soft knock at her door. She wasn't expecting anyone else other than James. It was time to face reality. 

Her heart pounded in her chest as she prepared herself for what was about to happen. She stood up and made her way to the door, taking a minute to collect herself as her hand rested on the doorknob.

A part of her hoped that maybe if she didn't answer the door, James would decide to leave, but she knew he wasn't going to go anywhere. He meant what he said about seeing her again.

With shaky hands, Iris took a deep breath and opened the door.  James stood there in front of her, his eyes were stuck to the ground. He was just as nervous about this as she was.

"Hey, James," Iris spoke first, trying to cut through the tension in the air. "Long time no see." She laughed nervously.

Iris didn't know how to feel at all. She stood there in silence, afraid that she would say or do the wrong thing. She was fighting the urge to hug him and tell him that everything was okay.

When he finally managed to look at her, Iris was taken by surprise. His face looked a lot older now, he lost the sweet baby face she adored before. She wondered if that was due to the tour, or if he was also suffering without her.

It made her realize how long they had been separated. Guilt and sadness were written all over his face and his body, words simply weren't enough to express the regret he was holding inside. 

James was happy to see that Iris was physically okay. The nightmares constantly played tricks on him, keeping him up at night with worry. He didn't know what he would do if something were to happen to her.

"You still look beautiful." James finally managed to respond, tears growing in his eyes. Iris appreciated his words, but her heart broke when she saw how emotional he was becoming.

Iris gently put her hand on his cheek, looking at him. "Don't cry, James..." She was almost asking him not to, but that was only going to make things worse. 

Without saying another word, James pulled her close, hugging her tightly and letting out everything he had held inside since that night. He never wanted to let her go again.

Iris held onto him like he was a lifeline, also becoming overwhelmed with emotion. She buried her face into his shoulder, missing the warmth and comfort of being in his embrace.

"I'm sorry, baby, I'm so sorry," Tears fell from his eyes as he kept muttering numerous apologies. He didn't know what he had to do to show her how sorry he was, but it never felt like it was going to be enough. 

His voice trembled as he spoke. "I'm sorry for being an asshole, I'm sorry for leaving you, I'm sorry for being with Alice, I'm sorry for—"

"James," Iris interrupted him. "It's okay." She whispered. Iris didn't need to hear any more of his apologies, and she didn't want him to beat himself up over this. 

"No," He pulled away, sniffing. "It's not okay. I put you through hell, I know it." He replied, wiping his tears. It shouldn't have been this easy for Iris to forgive him, he wished she would make him prove it.

Iris sighed deeply. Even though that part about going through hell was true, she had recovered from it, and she didn't want to put all the blame on him. "I said it's okay." She responded. "I put you through hell too."

James shook his head, almost getting annoyed with her response. "How can you even say that? You deserve so much better." James couldn't even forgive himself and yet, Iris had seen it as no big deal.

At least in James's mind, he thought that she deserved much better. How could you claim to love someone and then leave, knowing that it was going to put that person through pain? 

"You're not the only one at fault, James," She sighed. "There's no one else I give a shit about as much as you so...I do think you deserve me." She admitted, laughing through the tears that managed to fall from her eyes.

That was enough for James to lean in and crash his lips onto Iris's, tears continuing to slip down her cheeks as she was reunited with her savior. The love of her life. 

Iris was hoping that he was really there with her at that moment. She didn't want to wake up and realize it was all in her head. She wanted this to last forever.

James pulled away first, gently wiping the tears that had fallen down Iris's cheeks as he smiled at her. They didn't say anything, holding each other in comfortable silence for a minute.

"Do you want to come inside?" Iris asked as she looked up at James. Happiness replaced her emotions, grateful to have James by her side again. It was a rare feeling for her. 

James nodded, taking her hand into his. Iris smiled as she opened the door wider and led him inside, just like the old days.