fade to black | james hetfield [1]

thirty three

chapter thirty three: my last breath

The next morning was not an easy one.

Iris was still asleep from their activities the night before, her hand resting on his chest as she was snuggled into his side. 

James woke up early in the morning, needing time to get ready and prepare all his things before he headed out to meet the band at the tour bus.

When she woke up later on, she made him some breakfast and helped him to get his things. It was an excuse to spend more time with him before he would leave. 

Before she knew it, she was watching him grab his bag, put on his jacket, and head towards the door. It was a bittersweet moment, he was going off to follow his dreams, but she wished they had more time for each other.

Iris and James stood in the doorway, looking at each other. James stepped forward to wrap his arms around her, holding onto her for as long as he could. The sound of a car pulling to the front meant James's ride was here.

When they pulled away, James saw the tears that were on Iris's cheeks and he gently wiped them away. Iris looked at him with an embarrassed smile. "I'm sorry I keep crying." She laughed a bit.

"It's okay," James said, gently placing his hand on her jaw to turn her head to look at him. He took a deep breath and sighed. "I guess this is where we say goodbye."

Iris stepped towards James, taking his hand. It was almost like she was begging him to stay without saying it. "Promise me you'll keep in touch." She whispered.

"I promise," James replied, leaning in to kiss her softly. He didn't pull away for a minute, wanting to make things last a little bit longer. 

The obnoxious sound of the car horn made them both jump, causing them to pull away from each other. James shot a glare at the driver, annoyed that he decided to ruin the moment.

Iris laughed a bit when James looked back at her. "I have to go, Iris," He said, a slight smirk on his face. "I love you." He said, his hand still holding hers.

Iris looked up at him with a smile. "I love you too, James," She whispered back, tears glistening in her eyes.

She tried her best to hold them back as James shifted his away from her. He squeezed her hand before letting go and heading to the car.

James peeked out the window and gave her a wave as the car started to move. He didn't take his eyes off her until she was out of sight, savoring the last few moments with her. Iris waved him goodbye, watching him disappear down the road.

James promised he would keep in touch through his constant letters, considering the fact he wasn't always going to have access to the phone. It was corny, but he was willing to do whatever it took to talk to her.

So every couple of days, Iris looked forward to her sweet letter of endearment. And in return, she always wrote one back, commenting on every little part of it and how much she couldn't wait to see him again.

She especially loved it when he sometimes sent postcards along with the letters. Iris laughed as she saw some of the pictures of James at these places, posing ridiculously in front of famous landmarks.

He would leave a little note, telling her about the places he was visiting and how cool (or horrible) they were. She secretly liked when he spoke about the bad places because he would go on an endless rant about how shitty it was.

But over the last couple of letters and postcards, James and Iris had spoken about moving somewhere together in the future. If their separation taught them anything, it was that they couldn't be apart for a long time.

There were multiple places they spoke about but ultimately decided that they would like to move to James's home state of California.

Iris couldn't wait to get away from the small town she had been stuck in all her life. California seemed like a big enough place where no one would know who she was.

She would never have to look at the people who took advantage of her, broke her trust, and pushed her down ever again. She could finally be herself, free of judgment.

They weren't planning to move away together just yet, that was a decision that was going to be made a long time from now. But she would be lying if she didn't say that she was afraid to make that change.

She would go through with it if it meant being with James, but what if things didn't work out the way she wanted them to? What if they would never get to that point?

Iris didn't want to start overthinking things. There was still so much time for them to figure things out, whether it was going to work out in their favor or not.

She wasn't in this alone. No matter how many times her mind tried to play tricks on her and convince her that she was alone, James reminded her that she wasn't.

But sometimes, those thoughts could become overwhelming.