fade to black | james hetfield [1]

thirty eight

chapter thirty eight: soul searching

Just as James promised, he took her out a couple of nights later to explore the area they were soon to call home.

They didn't even need to use the car, they could walk down a couple of blocks and find something to do. It wasn't like back home where it was the one bar that everyone would go to as the hang-out spot.

Iris had something to say about everything, from the numerous restaurants that lined the streets to the small businesses that sold little collectibles. It was like a new world to her.

When they stumbled upon a record store, Iris couldn't help dragging James inside with her. She swore it was only going to be a couple of minutes, but once she started looking at the records one by one, he knew it was going to be a while. 

While James looked at the band t-shirts they had for sale, a smirk grew on Iris's face as her eyes landed on a particular record. "Look what I found." She mentioned to James, a slight smirk on her face.

He turned to see her holding up a Kill 'Em All record, her smirk now turned into a wide smile. James couldn't help blushing a bit when he saw her holding it.

"I've never actually listened to it," She said, looking at the back of it. "I'm going to buy it so we can listen to it later." She smiled as she tucked the record under her arm.

That was the first time he found his own music in a store, and Iris being the one to "discover" it was too perfect. 

Holding his hand tightly with a bounce in her step, they made their way out of the record store and onto other places. She was so excited to explore, and James watched on with admiration as she reveled in it.

He started to take notice of how much better Iris was getting physically. She was smiling more and she looked happier. It was like she was a completely different person, and he was so happy that she was happy. 

It took a lot of soul searching, and that's what she had been doing in the privacy of her own mind.

No longer were the days of sitting under a dark cloud and having to hide from the world. She hated feeling that way and she never wanted to deal with another period of her life like that again.

Of course, she was still going to have her bad days. She was going to be mad at the world, she was going to curse everybody for pushing her to her limit, and she was going to get upset.

But she wouldn't go back to her old ways and push anyone away. Especially not the people that she would grow to love.

James was her guiding light and without him, she didn't know where she would be today. He didn't have the slightest clue that was how she viewed him, but one day, he'd figure it out.

James pushed Iris to get a job related to her passion for art. He hadn't forgotten for a second that she was secretly an artist, and after finally seeing some of her drawings, he thought the whole world needed to see her talent.

Iris got a job with a studio that would allow her to do graphic design. It was a bit of a freelance job, but it was better than working at a supermarket like she had done weeks before.

Art was something that she genuinely enjoyed, not the supermarket job. She was determined to keep herself busy and do something that she loved.

When she told him she got the job, James practically swept her off her feet, hugging her tightly as he smothered her face in kisses. She would've never imagined this. It felt like a dream.

Once they made their way back home, Iris unpacked her record player from one of the boxes that had the rest of her personal belongings in it. She wasted no time in setting it up, eager to listen to the new record she bought.

James watched as she tore the vinyl wrapping off the cover with a sparkle in her eye, taking a minute to admire the album art before slipping the record out. 

If Iris was aware of how much James liked to watch her from afar, she would think he was a creep. But to him, there was nothing better to look at than the pure look of joy on her face.

She placed the record down on the turntable, carefully setting the needle down to play the record. She joined James on the couch, waiting for the first song to start playing.

He never thought to take her as a metalhead, but as the record kept playing and he saw how aggressively she was headbanging, he was proven wrong. He laughed as he watched her get caught up in the music, clearly enjoying herself.

By the end of it, Iris looked at James with a smile, feeling lucky to have listened to the record and to have listened to it with him. 

Her guiding light.