fade to black | james hetfield [1]

sixteen

chapter sixteen: fade to black

James was already at her door, knocking for the past five minutes. "Iris, can we talk?" She heard him through the door. "Iris, I know you're in there." He said as he peeked through the window.

As much as she didn't want to see him right now, Iris knew she couldn't ignore him forever. She cracked the door just enough for James to see her face. "Leave me alone."

She almost closed the door in his face, but he stuck his arm out, forcing the door open wider. She didn't even bother to fight him on it, she knew he wasn't going to go away that easily. 

As James entered the room, he wasn't sure what to say as Iris sat there with her face buried in her hands. The silence in the room was filled with tension and James didn't like seeing her so upset.

Letting out a deep sigh, she looked up at him, her face soaked with tears. "Why didn't you tell me about your girlfriend?" Her voice came out shaky.

James felt terrible when he looked at Iris, his heart aching when he saw the distressed look on her face. "Iris, she's not my girlfriend."

Iris let out a bitter laugh. "She might as well be." Normal friends didn't act that way. Even she knew that. 

"She was never my girlfriend and I don't want her to be my girlfriend," He replied, his tone more serious. "I want you, Iris." He said quietly. 

Iris felt her heart flutter at his words, but she could still see through his excuses. "That's bullshit." She muttered under her breath. 

He rolled his eyes. "How is that bullshit, Iris?" 

"Because it doesn't feel like you want me," She replied, her voice wavering. "I saw how happy the two of you looked."

"Listen, Iris," James sighed. "I recently saw Alice at some party I went to. She and I have some history, and it was the first time I saw her since high school, I couldn't not say hi," He explained. "She's always been a bit clingy, but I swear, I'm not doing anything with her." 

Iris turned to James, her eyes welling up with more tears. "And when were you planning to tell me that, huh?" Iris asked. He didn't have an answer for that.

She had lost all her trust in James at this point. Just like she predicted when they first met, he was going to break her trust. What she didn't expect was for him to break her heart.

"It feels like you led me on to make me look stupid on purpose," Iris said, her voice growing in volume. "You knew where we were heading and you knew how vulnerable I was."

"That's not true. I really care about you." He protested. 

"Do you? Or do you just pretend to care?!" She shouted at him. She heard the same thing from everyone else who hurt her before. He wasn't special. 

She buried her face back in her hands, starting to break down into sobs. She was so mad at herself, she knew better. Same shit, different day.

"All I wanted was to give you something special," She looked at the record that was sitting on the couch, tears blurring her vision. "Take your stupid record!" She grabbed it and threw it towards him, not caring if it got damaged.

James shielded himself as the record came flying towards him. There was a long silence between them, the sound of Iris's quiet sobs being the only sound in the room.

He took the record into his hands, smiling a bit when he saw what she got for him. But it only made him feel worse. "Iris—"

"Get out, James." She glared at him.

Iris didn't want to see him anymore. She didn't want his pity, she didn't want his apologies, and she didn't want to hear any more of his excuses. 

He looked a little hurt when he heard her. "Please, let me make it up to you."

"Did you hear what I said?" Her emotions starting to get the best of her. She came up to James and started furiously pushing and pounding against his chest. "I said get out!" She screamed.

James let her take out her frustrations on him, but his patience was slowly beginning to wear out. "What the hell is your problem?" He shouted once she gave up.

"You!" She screamed back. "You are the problem! You're just like everyone else! You're an asshole!" She shouted back, frustrated tears slipping down her face.

James knew that Iris was saying things that she didn't mean, but he was at his limit. Iris wasn't listening to a word he was saying and he wasn't going to put up with her negativity anymore. 

"All I've done is tried to be nice and help you, but you just keep on pushing me away," He said, his voice serious. "So I'll go ahead and leave you alone just like you wanted."

Iris rolled her eyes, no longer having the energy to argue with him right now. She looked over at him, her eyes red and face full of exhaustion. Whatever he had to say, she heard it all before.

"But you know what, Iris?" He laughed a bit to himself, shaking his head. "I can see why everyone hates you now."

Iris felt like she had been punched in the stomach when he said that. Tears began to fill her eyes and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She watched as James grabbed his things and walked towards the door.

Iris struggled to move, trying to go after him. "Where are you going?" Her voice trembled, stumbling over her feet as she tried to stop James from walking out the door.

James turned back to her. "Away from you." He didn't even flinch when he spoke the words, even with Iris looking hopeless in front of him. 

"No," She breathed, trying to reach for his hand. "Please don't go, I'm sorry." She choked out. James tore his hand away and walked out the door without looking back. 

Iris sank to the floor, her entire body shaking as she began to sob. No matter how mad she was at James or Alice, the only person that she had to blame was herself.